My circle of Friends 

Mid's place..dinner

I dont know what happent but I cannot attach any pictures from yesteday's dinner at Mid's place..screw this blog..anyway more photos go t--> click here

everything was awesome yesterday and thks for everything :-)

The Ambassador's place

The dinner at Dato Embassador House with Dato' Mustafa Mohammad

On 27th december, we had visitor came from Malaysia. His is one of our minister , Dato's Mustafa Mohamad. He is on vacation but because he was in Wellington, he wantd to meet the Msian students here,so our Ambassador organised a dinner to meet him. IT was fun actually, not just because had the opportunity to meet him but also to minggle around with friends and new people.

More photos go to --> click here

Reflection

"There's always that one person
that will always have your heart
You never see it coming cause
you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me,
it's clear for everyone to see"
(My Boo: Usher ft Alicia Keys)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all Bloggers and readers :-)
The 2004 will soon be ended and 2005 near to comes and what I have done so far in this year?

The reflection from 2004

In about few hours, I will be leaving the year of 2004. Few days ago, a good fren of mine has been asking me, "what have you done so far Ike in 2004". I silent. I kept on thinking, maybe I have done something in 2004 but I didnt really remember what was it. It took me couple of days to retrive back the memories. Finally, I have realised, I am already in my final year of Uni. I will be fully graduated next year mei and I am happy!:-) hm..took me this while to remember that!!*ahaskz*

Study: I am not one in the category of excellent students but I can be excelled when I wanted to. My results may not be excellent like the top "A" students but because I belive I can do what I want, I have worked up to achieve my goals-that is to get a Degree! It is almost there and I jsut need 2 monts to finish. It is tough but I belive with hard-working and have faith in yourself, your dreams will come true :-)

Family:Been ther for me and never judge me no matter how bad I have been. Family is the important element in human being life. Without them, people cannot survive and feel miserebly lost. I have blessed to have this family running my life. luv u all

Friends have always be ther for me no matter where they are or what they are doing. I am totally bless with these kind of friends. On return, I had, have and will always be there for them whenever I am. Whether I am in sickness or health or poor or richer, I am here to hear their thoughts and opinions about everything. Early this year, I totally shut myself up from people and I didn't believe in anywords call "friends".But slowly, my own friends tried to bring me out from the hold I have fallen into and slowly I have believed that there are still few people who are quite nice and why I have to live miserably when I can enjoy what I have??therefore, I want to thank to all the peeps who had, have and will be there for me no matter what! luv u all *muahs*

Tsunami: On 26th december 2004, this event has been terribly shocked us all. Not just in Asian countries but around the world. The news of "tsunami attack" spreading all over the world in one second. Noboy knew when it was going to attack. Few signs but people seemd to ignore it. Therefore, when it attacked, people didnt know what to do except run from it. Consequences from the event brought lots of families lost their childrens and relatives, couples lost their partners, houses were gone, state lost their goverments and many more. There are no words to describe the lost of the families because we who never were there cannot imagine what happend but as a human being, we know how the feeling of losing people that we love.

SO there, that was my reflection of 2004..well..with the new coming year, I hope this yr will bring new hope and prosperity to everyone. Happy New Year 2005!!

I used to ask a fren this question "how not to fall in love to someone?" and he replied, "gud luck". I have been searching for the answer for my question unfortenatley I haven't found one until a person came up to me and asked "hey Ike, how do u make yourself not to fall in love to someone?" I was thinking, hey I used to ask this question to someone before..there..I got questioned by a friend. Well, suprisingly I asnwered her "well, try make yourself occupy and stop thinking about her. I know its hard but you will never know if you try". "But isnt it hard to let go of someone?". (Ouch this question really put an arrow straight to my heart). "well, yeah past stories die hard but you have to confront the past if you want to face the future, right? ." But what if you will never forget your past?". "of course you will never forget it, coz it stays in your book. But you won't actually remember it but it will encounters once in the while tho'.."

I was thinking maybe..I shud have answered it by myself. I mean..not that I am complaining but that is sometimes, you need to be asked to get some answers. You cant get anything by yourself. Its weird but thats what you have to do. Thinking and thinking is not good as sometimes it doesnt makes sense rite??

If you do everything byself, sometimes you wonder "am I at the right path?" or "am I following the wrong path? you will never know unless you make a mistake then, you know. IT will make you wiser. A friend of mine, at the moment, devastated as her sister got a bf who is older enuff for her (thats what my friend thinks) but I guess, you will never know what will happen. A fren used to tell me that "if u are inlove with someone who is younger than you, you will love him more and sacrifices everything for him BUT if you are inlove with someone who is older than you, he will love you more and sacrifices everything for you"..so there, go figure what it means..I dont think I need to say more rite?

"Love is superficial. The more you get yourself involves in it, the more you are charmed by it. Prepare yourself with a potion to prevent yourself from getting vanquish"

curly hair

I made an experiment to my hair today. I decided to try curlying my hair as I never had it anymore when I grew older( my hair used to be curly;thats what my mom always told me)..and now after done it, thats how it looks like..(I think I look cute..heheh)..heeheh..pstt; I look like I'm in 40s ;-)


curly hair 1


curly hair2


curly hair3

New Hair Colour

my new hair colour3


My new hair colour1


My new hair colour2


My new hair colour4

*I have been changing my hair colour ever since I knew how to do it by myself. I think its fun changing your hair colour all the times. I have tried Red, blue, orange, brown, purple, marron. You name it..but yet I havent tried green or blonde. LIke to try it one day :-)*

some questions

there is a reason when a person doesn't want to confess about his/her true feelings. Its either gonna break his/her heart or she/her prefers to keep it to him/herself. It's not like she/he doesn't want to be honest, but sometimes what is the point?Does it gonna makes her/he feels better or the situation will be better? sometimes we got to face the consequences of our actions and not let anyone get hurt. Sometimes its better if the person itself suffer than letting anyonelse suffer.

not saying "yes" or "no" does make a different but sometimes it better not to tell or speak. Because it crushes a person inside by speaking the truth. the feelings already been hurt for gizzilion times but it never stop to make a mistake. A feelling toward someone is normal. Every human has the right to feel everything they want to feel. Feel the air or feel the nice cooking smells is normal but to feel someone's feeling is impossible. That cannot be feel unless that person get a respon from the other party. feeling wanted, not miserable and loved are normal. but sometimes it cannot be normal as each human needs to be unwanted, miserable or unloved.

Sometimes I wonder, how can a simple mistake effects a whole situation. How can one incident can makes people suffer so much?How can because of one mistakes, people don't want to let it go, instead leaving them feeling miserable the whole life?Why is it so hard for other people to understand "I don't want to talk about it" despite being bragging about it all day/night? How not to make a person not to fall for someone whereas the feelings grow stronger day by day?

This is just a thought I have been thinking for the past couple of dayz. I wish I cud get an answer but I guess not all of the questions have the answer. Better leave it unanswered.

BoReD..and XTRa BoreD

kinda bored..having a break from my class at the mo. i feel i wan to go home and sleep. the class is so damn boring..its a 3hours class. luckily its not 3 hours straight if not i will be dead by the time the class finish ;-) *to be continued*

well i am home now..obviously..(its 12.51 am in the morning of course)..just conclude my last sentence of my essay..yey finally it's done..just need to print it out and hand it tomorrow morning..if only I can go to Uni in the morning..well maybe I can..heheh :-)

well what's new??oh my brother "afzul" is going back to Malaysia tomorow (well its today actually..in about 6 hours he will go back to Malaysia!!!!) my god..how time flies..i cannt even realised that..heheh oh well..time flies..(psstt:wish I can go back too..papa if u are reading this, please send me some money so that I can go home too during the 2 weeks break starting this week:-) ). I kinda miss home (but do I miss somebody??) no i dont think so..I talk to him almost everyday..why shud I miss him :-) waiting is already a disaster but why missing makes u suffer? It is painful but why it occurs all the times? *wink* hehhe..I miss my family..of course..no doubt..yup yup..hehhe

I just found out recently that one of my friends has been pretending to bfriending with my bcoz of something..I just cannot believe that. I have helped that person so much and this what that person has repay me??why why?why cant the person just ignore me at first and pretend like the person doesnt know me? why why??:( its sad but true. things happen for reason ****happens aye..always..coz of that I have been asking most of my closest friends and one of them got offended..I know I shudnt do that but I cant help it..once bitten twice shy rite?I do trust him alot..really alot..I enjoy his company a lot..he makes me laugh and we cud bitching abt everything..almost everything..but when it occurs agan, you get scared..oh well.. at least hes not mad at me anymore..:-)

Kinda tired at the moment..busy day class from 2 til 5 and went to gym till 6pm then hanging out at Kakera's place until 7.30 just to copy something *sigh* damn tired..need to chuck myself to bed now..goodnite people..:)

things that will NOT be forgotten

Olivia Thomas. ANother of my friends has left on saturday. A friend who is really sincere and honest to me. She has been great to me. Her contribution and caringness will never be forgotten. She cares so much abt me and never ask anything in return. Since I only have few closest friends in my life, her departure has made a really huge impact in my life. Ever since Ninie left last year, I became close to her. We talked, bitched about and almost everything. She never asked anything in return and that what makes her a good soul :-)

She has became the 3rd bestfriend girlfrien I have ever had in New Zealand (after christy and Ninie). She has been there for me through out my joy and sorrow and never said bad things about me or anybodyelse. She will try her best to make me happy and listened to most of my stories (without interupting) :) Although we have promised not to cry at the airport, I know every tears that fell were worth it as she has been a great friend to me. I feel so lucky to have met a really good soul throught the journey of my life. She is one of the smallest people I know but that's just because she makes up for it in her BIG heart. Thank You for Everything and keep in touch. "Kelak Kamek datang Sarawak. Naik sampan 20sen. Kitak tunggu di sia ok?Sayau ka nuan";-)

Every thing that happen at the begining will have the end. Like death. Everyone is going to die. No one can ever run from it. Same as when you are introduced to a new things in life, you will end up getting hurt when it ends, rite?;-) hmm..well life is a bitch but it will not be a bitch when you know how to live it.

Well I live my life as it is. I go with the flow. Never planned what will happen to me until I have reached the stop of the journey. Then I will know what will happen to me next. I know it sounds ridicolous and unplanned but, thats how I live my life and I am perfectly happy with it. Well only few things but its nothing to be exposed of. I am still in the conquest of finding my perfect someone and there's no doubt about it. I mean, who is? unless they are totally do not believe "a thing call LOVE". Every now and then, people are looking for IT. BUt depends on how they find it. How they look for it. Sometimes IT hides under your nose or u are blinded by it. Never appreciate it until IT's gone. On the other hand, some have found THE ONE, depends how they classify "THE ONE". "The happines is like a butterfly, the more you grasp the more it will runs away". But then, have you heard the word call "FATE"? I do. I believe every person in this wolrld have their own fate, depending how they take it, how they live it. Some of them accept their fate willingly whereas some don't. Some never be thankful for everything they have been offered in life whereas some do. But I guess, that's how human lives their life every now and then. Obviously no big doubt about it :-)

I just realised, why can't I write my essay freely like I hav been writing in this blog? I always be stucked with words and sentences and my tenses hav been normally unperfect (well its not like its perfect here) but still I dont feel free when doing my assingmet. To tell the truth, I normally feel presure and stress when doing my essay. It like I need to please my lecturer with my FAKE writing all the time and I hate that. I want to be able to write freely and throw everything in a piece of paper. What I feel and what I need to say :-) I wish I can write in my essay like what I am writing rite now. No pressure, 100% freedom. No pleasing and no faking. I hate faking. Its like there is not honesty in everything you are doing. HOnesty huh? does it rings a bell?

Anyways, I have been listening to "delta goodrem-out of the blue" and the lyrics is totally awesome. I always like her (she's an Australian artist btw). SHe writes all her lyrics based on a real life. I really like that..that's sweet

Out of the BLue-Delta Goodrem

A new beginning
A new chapter of my life
Started the day
When I thought It could be my last
My eyes were wide shut but I hadn't given up
Just thought I'd be walking the world alone

Out of the blue
There I met you
Showed me a life I can't see without you
And theres just no way
That I can fight these emotions
Your energy running through me
Nobody can renew me like you

Out of the blue
Can this be true?

Family and friends they were my life
I wasn't one for butterflies
But you gave me love that I can't disguise
And there will be times when we're apart
I want you to know you're in my heart
Growing into a beautiful garden

No emotions
My whole body felt like ice
Needed to feel that the sun would shine my way
My world had turned to dust
But I had my faith and trust
Just thought I'd be walking the world alone

Family and friends they were my life
I wasn't one for butterflies
But you gave me love that I can't disguise
And there will be times when we're apart
I want you to know you're in my heart
Growing into a beautiful garden

Out of the blue
There I met you
Showed me a life I can't see without you
And theres just no way
That I can fight these emotions
Your energy running through me
Nobody can renew me like you

Tired

hmm..what I have been up to? well..as a start, I had a dance practice every single day for the past couple of dayz..really tired..go to gym every morning and dance practice evey single evening..heheh:)I take it as an exercise :)

Had the Asean Nite thingy (its the embassy function tho). It was fun and i did a few mistakes..welll nobody's perfect rite? heheh but it was fun and fun..heard few ladies said " they look beautiful", " their dance is beautiful" and blah..yaddi yadda..heheh..well at least all the tiredness has paid off rite?? pix go here -->http://ikeafnifa.fotopages.com/

I had a talked wit my pet-sister yesterday abt her bf. He bf is a scumbag, triple jerk. She has been nice to him but he has been treated her like a garbage. Who does he think he is? My god..i tot older guy is supposed to be mature..(he's 28 n she's 18) but instead he acts like a kid. I have been asked her to dump him (im a devil) well..at least she doesnt hav to cry over him anymore or worry abt him. well we'll see how it goes..if he still like a scumbag, then we go to plan C (like we have one)

...

hmm what's good to write? havent really had any ideas to write..well one thing..I have been busy like hell..[like i know how it is]..anyway..I have been teaching these kids at Msia Hicom the Malaysian traditional dance and boy..How tired am I for the past couple of days..really tired..can barely touch the ground :) but its a good exercise tho'..at least i can get the "fat" out of my body *wink*

hmm..been going to GYM..and it fun fun fun..well not bcoz the instructor is so damn cute..[ok i wudnt want to touch on that]..its bcoz i have seen my body been changing..I think my exercise has been worth it..il be going bck again tomoro..yey..by the end of february,I will probably oredi lost some extra baggage..:)

damn..why I suddenly feel misssing MSIA? i dun know why..bcoz my parents there or bz of somethingelse??i dnt know maybe..Ninie is there..feel wan to fly there and see her and talk to her..bitch abt anything and everything..I feel so lonely over here..dont really have thing to do nor talk abt..been doing the same routine..Uni, gym and hangout wit frens..Oli is going bck this saturday for good and there will only be me n christy..jz the two of us all over again..:(( sad sad..
oh well..people come and go but only the true person will leave the footprints in your heart..:)

called my dad yesterday and he was inviting people to come to our house..he did an open house..man..i miss that..i miss the thingy..meeting friends and inviting friends to come. *damn* kind feel isolated tho' but oh well..need to do what I was meant to do..and that is to finish my STUDIES..well jz couple of months more then I am off for good..:)

its been a while since I've jot something here..a long ones i mean..been putting some unused stuff here..but not myself...I hav been so busy "entertaining" someone..hehhe..not to be specific..my frriends..my fellow friends..hehhe..I have been attending summer classes *sigh*..got essay due this week and presentation next week..*big sigh*..tired..oso every evening lately I have been teaching dancing to this kids..which is good for me not complaining..at least I can losse weight..hehe and oso..I have signed up wit the UNI gym..hehehe..so determine to lose weight..hmm..I absolutely tired at the moment..nothing to write..just wanna keep my blog updated..

How Pieces are you?

You are 100% Pisces

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

What planet are you from?

You Are From the Moon

You can vibe with the steady rhythms of the Moon. You're in touch with your emotions and intuition. You possess a great, unmatched imagination - and an infinite memory. Ultra-sensitive, you feel at home anywhere (or with anyone). A total healer, you light the way in the dark for many.

What Planet Are You From?

updates

what I have been doing since the last time I wrote something in the blog??well..I got sick..flu and fever and stuff..*damn* then I have beeen bz attending summer classes :) even on weekends..saturday and sundy at 9-4..arghhhhh..oh well...at least I got myself occupied :) hmm..whatelse?? I have totally no idea to write something here..coz I guess my mind has been empty since its holiday *wink*

How Well Do You Know me?

Take the "How Well Do You Know Ike?" quiz created on Tickle and see how you score. Here's the first question:

1. Did I like, love, or hate high school?
* Like
* Love
* Hate
* So so

Just click (or copy and paste) this link and you'll be taken to my quiz.http://connect.tickle.com/test.html?id=.ToEmk1pOoxlPjxo&

Ike

-------------------------------------------

Take the "How Well Do You Know Ike2?" quiz created on Tickle and see how you score. Here's the first question:

1. What's my sign?
* Leo
* Aquarius
* Sagittarius
* Pisces

Just click (or copy and paste) this link and you'll be taken to my quiz.http://connect.tickle.com/test.html?id=K9JT5ozrawZD5S4G&


Ike

updates2

What a rainy day.Damnit..:((..why why why tell me why..its raining and I am sick. Having a flu and sore-throat is definitely not the best OK. I am really anooying with those 2 things.. I h8te being sick and not being to do anything...0oh well..what an I say..life is like a wheel. it goes up and down sometimes. Never stay put unless it stops.

whats new? oh yeah..I change my hair colour [i change my hair color more than i go shopping] again to medium brown..hehhe looks OK..I think..hehhee..and yeah..I chnge my fon no..get anooying had to topup s many times a month..tension dude..for shore..my fon no is 021535243...kewl2..yey!!!at least i get 200 free mnutes and 200 free text messages..bloody alot man!!!kewl2..

updatesssssss

Updates:

1. Went to Auckland lst week and had a blast.For shore

2. Summer school already started. Bz.Got class..on tues-2 till5, thursday 2-8.30pm, saturday 9-4 and sunday 9-4. ZesZ. bloddy hell..I am superbly BZ!!

3. My frens are here in Wgtn.ITs fun and fun..laughing all times.

4. Well..nothing special at the moment.

5.More updates soon!!!

ZesZ..For Shore

At Auckland Airport :)

Auckland..definitely the best place..meeting friends and laughing..all nite..was the best!I paid a visit to Auckland last 2 dayz and it was a blast..I met all the familiar faces and catching up was the best thing to do :) had a great time and place..zesz heheh..for shore :)

raya this year was ok..i guess because I hve grown up and it wasnt fun as when I was a kid..where i wud get up in the morning and dressed in a new clothes and get ready to meet my paretns just to ask for "duit raya"..but this year..well i got one as welll but it was just normal except i cried when seeked forgiveness from my mom ..heheh..shame on me :) hehehhe

jz finished watching keanu reeves movie "walk in the cloud" and man i love that movie even though i have watched it couple of timess...argh...love story..heheh..never imagined meeting someone in short-time but knowing the person like you have know him in a long-time..ehheh..well thats what we call fate!!

all pictures that were taken can be view at ----> CLicK HeRe

Raya Pix

I am off to Auckland today at 12pm flight!!:).. herewith I attach the Raya Pix that was taken yesterday..click here IkeA Fotopages

Eid Mubarak to Ya'all

As every Muslim knows today is the celebration for all the Muslim around the world. The end of Ramadhan *sad*, welcome Syawal *yey*..anyway I have been eating and eating for the whole day..been putting so food in my stomach till it got cramped due of eating tooo much..screw my diet for the whole Ramadhan..heheh..its all good btw..hehehhe

I baked an Oreo Cheesecake before and boy it tastes good hehheh..been craving for it ever since I got back from KL..:) hehhe..got to sleep now..got another house to visit tomorow..damn it, just realise I am working tomorrow nite :(( 8pm till 1am..so lazy to go to work but since i have considered myself broke, then I got to go to work!!

*the best thing in life doesn't have to come in a big package. The smaller the package the better as it is the purely gift from God*

*"that action is the best which procures the greatest happpines for the greatest numbers", Francis Hutchison, An Iquiry into..Beauty and Virtue*

..raya2

Dear Blog

Kinda tired even though I had a really good nite sleep. Was so busy at work yesterday, didn't had the chance to relax even for 5 minutes!!oh bugger!! the customers at drive-thru were kept on coming continously one car after another. I hate drive-thru sometimes coz they don't even give me a break especially the part where " Can I have 2 separate ordes" in one car or "I want to change my order" as soon as they arrive at the window where there are about 5 cars are coming. arghh..so boring..these customers can be so unreasonable sometimes..expect me to follow their orders but doing nothing to me except pisssing me off!! oh well..that's life..the same thing repeats everyday..nothing change

what's new?nothing much..just the same old me..keeping low-profile as much as I can..feel like want to be alone..Oh I am flying to Auckland next week on Tuesday from Wellington 12pm..will be at Auck at 1pm..and be bck to Wellington on thursday 4.30pm arriving from Auckland 3.30pm..hmm kinda holiday I guess..heheh can't wait..its been months since I been there..but I miss KL more..esp the Shopping and hanging out wit Frens part..;)

Next week is Raya aka Eid Murabak and I am still stuck here iN Welly for 4 years Now. Hadn't had the chance to come home since the first year I arrived. Kinda sad but what can I do..life goes on..No matter where I am, I will remember the people I care the most and of course Raya together2 ahaks~hmm..oh I better seek forgiveness from the people I am suppose to seek..

Papa: Selamat hari raya dan kaklong minta maaf atas salah dan silap..minta maaf tak dapat balik raya lagi tahun ni..aritu kaklong ada tanye papa kan masa nk anta kaklong gi epot ,"kaklong nak balik ni, papa sedih tak"..even though papa tak cakap papa sedih, kaklong tau papa sedih..kaklong lagi thrice sedih..hmm..tiap kali papa telefon mesti ngangis *eyes watered* tak apela nxt yr kita raya sesama *hugz* ~luv to bits and pieces

Ayah: Selamat hari raya and maaf zahir batin..taular ayah raya kat mesia..mmg best lar..dpt makan2 anyway..kaklong minta maaf kalu ada salah and silap..mmg byk tu..tak dapet den nafikan lai'..jgn sedih pagi raya..hehe kitaorang tak da..heheh online ar..for shore kaklong mmg online..luv u to bits and pieces

Ibu: Selamat hari raya dan maaf atas segala kesilapan yang penah kaklong buat..yang tak sengaja atau yg sengaja..yg sengaja tu biasalar kan..~tsk tsk~ minta maaf bu tak dpt balik raya tahun ni..hopefully tahun depan dpt raya together2..glamor cam wahida~wassini~luv u to bits n pieces

Irfan&Aniq&Izzul: Selamat hari raya adik2ku..maaf zahir batin..hopefully posa tu abes lar kan..dpt PS2..jgn nakal2..jgn gado2..jgn berebut2 nk dpt duit raya..gi umah nenek elok2..jgn kasi ibu marah..;) kaklong minta maaf sebab selalu usik korang esp abang irfan heheh..heheh..angah minyak wangi share! adik jgn nakal2..luv u to bits n pieces

Ninie: Selamat hari raya and maaf kalu aku ada terkasar atau tersilap selama kita kenal..sometimes I can be so blunt kan so forgive me if I have ever did that..thnx for being there for me in almost of the time-being..You are such an awesome person..been there ups and downs..joy to sorrow..thnx..the bitter sweet memories will always remain in the special place in my heart..hehhehe..jgn lupe tau kalu ko jd kawen dgn naly, aku nye kad raya mesti colour purple..kalu tak aku tanak dtg..*ugut*luv u to bits n pieces

ChiP: selamat ari raya and maaf zahir dan batin. Thnx for being a friend through this year..mmg best kawan dgn u..even though we just known each other last yr kan??tapi mmg best hang around dgn you! u've been there for me through ups and downs esp when I need some advices regarding abt guys~heheh gud luck wit ur studies kat UK nanti..luv u to bits n pieces

Sofia: Selamat hari raya and maaf zahir batin..minta maaf kalu ada salah n silap selama kita berkenalan..*my make-up partner* heheh u take care gurl..nanti kalu balik kita lepak dome..il make sure to full-use of my Dome card..luv u to bits n pieces

AriL: Selamat hari raya and maaf zahir batin..best lepak dgn U esp the teh tarik part..baru kenal je tapi cam dah bole lepak2 lama..mcm2 cita bole kuar..keep in touch OK?

To my other friends [Kam, Oli, Christy etc] : Selamat hari raya and maaf zahir batin..you guys have been great to me..heheh being ther for me through joy and sorrow..in the middle of the nite..its priceless I cant never forget tht..its definitely priceless..u gys are worth befriending for..heheheh Oli, mun balit esok, eboh lupa tok. kitak is the best..kali one day, I pergi melawat u rah Sarawak..nang sure..

Selamat Hari raya and maaf zahir dan batin..

*This dedication is for the people who I can't see on the first day of Hari raya..due of the distance.

*3 dayz to go

Dedication

dancing Elmo

Poem from Ivan:

Always and forever
I have got your back
always and forever
I am still here for you
I will never leave you in the dirt
and I wont treat you like crap
when you need a shoulder to cry on
I am here through it all
I am your friend
so all ya gotta do is "holla"
and i will help keep your world from coming to an end


Cute Elmo

I have been doing a lot of thinking bout what my friends been talking aabout meeeee..am I really that bad person where people tend to talk alot? I have been thinking maybe I do not deserve to hang out in the crowd where I usually hang out..sometimes I dont even know who is true who is fake..so many dishonesty has been going around ;( tired of being nice to people..

speaking of nice..I have been wondering abt someone told me " awak ni tak ada belas kasihan langsung. Tak ada perasan langsung". Maybe he was rite..I admit after being dumped long time ago..I suddenly being cold-blooded and incompassionate. I hate to being able to open up to people again after everything bad has happend in my life. When you start to open up again, you feel love..and opening to love is like an invitation for more pain :( I am totally scared really scare.. I have been trying to be careful and build up a shield to protect myself from being hurt..stick more precautions before any bad things happenning again..

some people may think losing their pride a bit may help them to achieve in what-so-ever things they want to do but for how long? You need to have your pride as well..You can't simply being nice and follow whatever instructions that been given..you need to stand up to urself..I am tired of being nice..I am tired of losing my pride..I am tired of following people instructions but none of mine be followed..pity me sometimes..I had to comfort people all the time but they never intend to think about me! I had to "be there" almost for everyone but none of them "be there" for me. At the end of the day, I am the one who suffer most from the consequences. I had to mend my hearts for so many times and I am tired of doing that. I have feelings too..and my feelings are fragile. It cannot be bought or sell. It hurts my heart and no one was there to help me mend it.

I know some of my friends will hate me after reading this but ever since they knew me, they never pay attentions on what I want to say. They keep on using my for their own goods. Well sometimes I just wish them to Kiss my Arse..arghh..Befriending wit me just to gain something that I dont even know sometimes..Why be such a pretender? Why cant be yourself? for 4 years I have suffered from all the actions they have done to me and they never had the intentions to try to make it better instead by making it worse. why cant they have a "heart" like everybodyelse? I know I can be vindicated sometimes but why? why being so pretentious and selfish to me?? I have been asking the question all the times and till now I cudnt find the answer?

but nevertheless, some of them are very nice to me. Not just nice..Awesome man! being there for me without asking any returns are the best quality of human-being anyone cannot offer. Their attentions and care-giving are superb. Marlini Rashid, Olivia Thomas, Christy Ngeow, Kam Weng Yuen and Ivan Hugh Gordon. These people have been through ups and down, joy and sorrow wit me since the beginning of our friendship. We laugh, we cry, we scream, partying and laughing just for nothing and the just a blast. Hanging around wit them are just the best!
I have met new people who I think they are kewl.. to name a few: Chip, Sofia, Ayu (dun worry even tho I dont put your names down here, Your name will always stay forever in my heart *wink* ) I feel ease whenever they are around which I think pretty awesome!!

dedicated to them:

Good friends are hard to find.
Good friends are easy to love.
Good friends are presents that
Last forever and that feel
Like gifts from above

Good friends are lives overlapping.
Good friends are laughter and tears.
Good friends are emotions so deep
That the trust just keeps growing over the years.

Good friends are hard to find.
Good friends are easy to adore.
And you've been such a good friend to me...
that I could ask for nothing more.

at Rebecca's HSE


At Oli's Place

*4 dayz to go

joy turn to sadness

Another 3 hours to go before the departure..my heart hurts. I can feel the pain..=(( seriously I do not know why. It seems like something is missing but I do not know what??!! hmm..kinda weird tho'..seriously..

Raya is next week and I am off to Auckland for raya. Kinda tired of Wellington itself since I just found out, the people I have been hanging out are the one who stab me from the back..telling bad stories and spreading bad rumours and being dishonest..why is that? I do not know..seriously..friends are not supposed to do that to another friend..but I guess what has been done is done..tired of people who pretend to be nice to me "hi ike, buat ape tuh?" but behind of me "u know what ike is blah2 bla2"..arghh.stupid humanity!! so arrogant and unbelievable..indenialbly corrupted..my god..I cant trust people anymore..not in this circle of people..=(( there are so pathetic and hipokrit..why must befriending with me and then stab me behind my back..cant they for once, come to me and say "hey ike, i dont like the way you behave blah2 blah2"..I wud be happy to hear that even though it harsh and hurts..well at least for a while..hoensty is the best policy isn't it??=)

"sometimes life can be a biatch if you take it seriously. Enjoy what you have and take it easy"

*5 dayz to go

i dont want to be

I dont need to be anything other
Than a prison guard's son
I dont need to be anything other
Than a specialist's son

I dont have to be anyone other
Than the birth of two souls in one
Part of where im going,
is knowing where im coming from

I dont want to be
Anything other than
what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do

Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who Im supposed to be
I dont want to be anything other than me

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I cant be the only one who's learned

I dont want to be
Anything other than what
I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and

I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I dont want to be anything other than me
Can I have everyone's attention please?

If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain
The crust of creation
My whole situation-made from clay to stone
And now I'm telling everybody

I dont want to be
Anything other than what
I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me
and I have peace of mind

Im tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I dont want to be anything other than me
I dont want to be

Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I dont want to be anything other than me
I dont want to be

-------------------------------------

my heart aches when you are away.
my stomach rumbles whenever I think about you.
my mind is occupy and it puzzles whether you think about me too?
will I get the answer I seek when you say wait another week?
why cant you give me an answer instead making me puzzling?

----------------------------------------------------

Im off to work..arghh work work work..tired..boring..counting the dayz to finish ;) I want to find another job..I am tired man!!

Cepat pulang cepat kembali
Jangan pergi lagi
Firasat ku ingin
Kau untuk cepat pulang

*6 dayz to go

*another 12 hours to go

expectations

ninie...out of ideas for a nick says: well sorry 2 say this, but sometimes i think u dun wanna let go of yr ego...its like, u cant lose face. u expect everything 2 come yr way, but u cannot accept negative things, u are scared of getting hurt but yet u can be so blunt to people's feelings too...i'm sorry for saying all that, but if u cant see yr reflection in the mirror, i'm speaking it on yr behalf...sorry again...

ninie...out of ideas for a nick says:
i mean, sometimes u hv 2 put yrself in other people's shoes and try 2 understand why they are acting in certain ways that u are not fond of...

ninie...out of ideas for a nick says:
sometimes we expect too much from ppl....but remember u get what u give..

ninie...out of ideas for a nick says:
ppl expect alot from us too...so if u want to meet their expectations, meet yours first..

I have been thinking lately, am I starting to be a cold-blooded person and being such a less-caring human being? the conversation I had wit Ninie made me think, maybe I am being such selfish person and have been avoiding people's feelings just to maintain my standards. I dont even know what my standards are. Everytime I want to be caring, I seem to be pulling back as if I am not but honestly I am.

Why is it so hard to forgive and forget? why is it so hard to forget your past and u keep clingy to it? Why can I admit I am caring to this person but instead I show no interest to him? I always try to act as if nothing happen but everytime we stop talking, I feel miserably lost. As if I am lost somewhere around the world where I need a hand to guide me. Whatelse do I want in my life???

Well, wondering who I am talking about, so here some clues. I will not reveal who he is even though:

"That one particular guy who drives me crazy when he doesn't call or message..that one particular guy who says I make him laughs..that one particular guy who likes to laughs at me just to tease me..that one particular guy who makes my day..that one particular guy who purposely like to call my name in a funny way...that one particular guy who always be there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on and an ear to hear..that one particular guy who says I am not compassionate and have no feelings...that one particular guy who try to seek my attention when I am around..that one particular guy who says he knows everything about me...and that one particular guy who has the best interest in my heart ;) "

*7 dayz to go

Solo En Ti

You're My #1-Enrique Iglesias

I've kissed the moon a million times

Danced with angels in the sky

I've seen snow

Fall in the summertime

Felt the healing of the powers above

I've seen the world from the highest mountain

Tasted love from the purest fountain

I've seen lips that spark desire

Felt the butterflies a hundred times

I've even seen miracles

I've felt the pain disappear

But still haven't seen anything

That amazes me quite like you do

You bring me up when

I'm feeling down

You touch me deep you me right

You do the things

I've never done

You make me wicked

You make me wild

'Cause baby, you're my #1

I've sailed in a perfect dream

I've seen the sun make love to the sea

I've kissed the moon a million times

Danced with angels in the sky

I've even seen miracles

I've seen the tears diappear

But I still haven't seen anything

That amazes me quite like you do

------------------------------------------

Solo En Ti

Se abre una ventana interior
Es una historia de amor
que se ha ido
Todo fue un momento ayer

Y hoy que quiro volver te persigo

Necesito lo que tu me das
Necesito verte un dia mas
Y solo pienso en ti

Solo en ti

Ella ya no cree en el amor
es solo una diversion
un fracaso
todo junto a ella es fingiry

siento ganas de huir
a tus brazosNecesito lo que tu me das
Necesito verte un dia mas
Y solo pienso en ti

Solo en ti

Va pasando el tiempo y no se
de lo que fue aquella vez
que ha quedado?

te habras olvidado de mi
Mientras yo vivo por ti
Obsesionado?

Necesito lo que tu me das
Necesito verte un dia mas
Y solo pienso en ti
Solo en ti

Necesito lo que tu me das
Necesito verte un dia mas
Y solo pienso en ti
Solo en ti

Se abre una ventana interior
Es una historia de amor
que se ha ido

Todo fue un momento ayer
Y hoy que quiro volver te persigo

Necesito lo que tu me das
Necesito verte un dia mas
Y solo pienso en ti
Solo en ti

---------------------------------------------

Only You[Translation]

Looking from a window above

it's like a story of love can you hear me?

Came back only yesterday

I'm moving farther away want you near me.

chorus: 1x

all i needed was the love you gave

all i need it for another day and all i ever knew only you
sometimes when i think of her name

when it's only a game

and i need you listen to the words

that you say it's getting harder to stay when i see you

chorus:

1x all i needed was the love you gave

all i need it for another day

and all i ever knew only you

This is gonna take a long time

and i wonder whats mine

can not take

no more wonder if you'll understand

it's just the touch of your hand behind close door

chorus: 2x

all i needed was the love you gave

all i need it for another day and all i ever knew only you

Looking from a window above it's like a story of love

can you hear me?

Came back only yesterday

I'm moving farther away

want you near me

chorus: 2x all

i needed was the love you gave

all i need it for another day

and all i ever knew

only you

-------------------------------------------------------

You come to love not by finding the perfect person..
But by seeing an imperfect person perfectly..
--Sam Keen--

Life is pain, princess..
Anyone who says differently is selling something..
--Wesley The Princess Bride--

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant..
We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift..
--Albert Einstein--

*8 dayz to go

my new haircut..hehehe

"AFRAID MIGHT JEOPARDISE, WHAT WE HAVE 2 DAY, OR BREAK YOUR HEART INTO 2, HOPE YOU GOT THE ANSWER YOU SEEK, OR U CAN WAIT ANOTHER WEEK"

what do u guyz think about this poem? what does it means?

*9 dayz to go

what a day

arghh..what a gloomy day..raining and foggy..arghh...dont a good sign for summer..I hav been waiting for the summer to come..fr the past few dayz were fine..hot and sunny..not it raining and foggy..heheh

hmm..what I have been doing for the past couple of dayz:

1. been to work

2. been sleeping late at nites[like 4.30 am]

3. been doing lots of thinking..mostly about my stupidity..

4.start to go swimming again

5. been confused [about nothing]

6. oh yeah..and today i received an email from my dad about the vacancy at New Straits Times in Malaysia...wanted to apply..want that job so badly..I think I will apply..yup 10000% sure..for shore..=)

Emotional

What Type of Lover Are You?
brought to you by

poem to someone I care the most

I dont know what to do
I don't know what to say
I'm afraid for I am falling for you
Its scares me to think of all the things you could do
You could make all my dreams come true
Or even break my heart in two
What should i do?

*It's hard to imagine opening up to someone else. With everything that happens in our lives, love just feels like an invitation for more pain*

*10 dayz to go

updates

nothing much to say today..kinda tired..been doing exercises and going to work as well..catchup on my beauty sleep and surfing to the net..as well as been talking on the phone alot..been missing my frenz n family back home a lot..since its nearly raya...wanna go home and do stuff..but i cant..i hv class on the very first raya itself..*damnit* what can I say..education is important...by the way I leave you wit this question:

how do u make ur heart not to fall for someone?

*11 dayz to go

a hand to be reached...from a friend

[IVAN]- life is not empty, u just need to find a way to fill it says:
u urself have to answer that question

You made me fall for you says:
i tried but i cant find the answer

You made me fall for you says:
i need u to guide me

[IVAN]- life is not empty, u just need to find a way to fill it says:
my hands are only for guidance, its the trust in u that u need to follow

You made me fall for you says:
i dun know if i hav it in me..i hv fallen into the deepest hole..i need u to take me up..

[IVAN]- life is not empty, u just need to find a way to fill it says:
i'll give u a rope, but wat u do with rope is up to u. but if the rope doesnt help, i'll reach out my hand to get u

You made me fall for you says:
hopefully i am able to reach you..if not il be down there forever..

[IVAN]- life is not empty, u just need to find a way to fill it says:
reaching is not the main worry, the main point is the trust u put in to reach it

*12 dayz to go

Life is a BIATCH

people must have been thinking..what the hell, I put my tittle under that name..ahaks~nothing's wrong..jz feel like putting it there..tsk~

so what I have been up to? well as you have read my blog..I have been having one hell of a week..one bad luck to another~gosh, what a hell of a week~unlucky for me I guess..Maybe the moon is not under my skin~maybe its under someonelse's skin..Betcha~

I just handed it [via email] my very last essay and gosh, it was relieved..like u dumped all the problems from your cheast out in the rubbish bin...heheh..I sent an email to my tutor and I feeling a bit sad coz he will not going to teach anymore..I mean what the heck..its not like I am going to be in UNI next yr but..I guess his departure from the UNI will be remembered..he was such a great tutor..even though he is young..like 30s or something..he still the best..he tried to make the class comfortable around each other..and treated us; his students like his frens..even when we had the discussion in a big lecture hall..heheh it was fun..the lecture was like a restaurant..people was eating and talking to each other like we have known each other for ages..anyway he will definitely will be remembered..=)

whatelse I have been doing than stucking my head infront of the PC? hmm..well been watching movies..heheh hindi movies mostly..just getting my mind occupy wit something I dont have to think nor crying..heheh..oh yeah speaking of crying..me n my bestfriend have been speaking and I FINALLY had the courage to talk to him..I had to forget about my STUPID EGO and apologized to him and messaged him with a gizziliion apologies..GOsh..never done that before..and I was so embarrased tho'..luckily I dont hv to call him up and say " I am sorry"..or else I will be stucking up my head under the pillow..I dun know..I have a serious problem to say "I am sorry" to people..I guess its my nature..or it runs in the family??I dun know..but its jz hard to apologize to people..maybe because of the pride or arrogance or my egotism has captured my soul than my mind??? or I have becoming ostentation? I dun know..I dun think I am being ostentation..that is so not me..hmm..well there is not other words can descibe me I guess..~~

Lately, few of my friends have been asking me whether I am wit someone because of the reason I hv been spending my time texting this guy..well NO..not way..I am still enjoying my single life to the fullest..no commitment, no responsiblity..prefer to be alone..I dun know..I know there are concern of me coz I am still single and I knw they want me to be happy..I am happy..wit the way I am..no responsiblity and torment..no pleasing people obviously..heheh..well frankly, I do want a BF but all the guys I have been meeting, there has been no..I repeat NO..sparks fly or Chemistry..no electric shock..so how can they ever think I will like them when there is "nothing" flying around?~heheh

~I sincerely admit I am choosy in finding "the one"..I mean who doesn't unless they do not admit it and pretend " I dun want to find the perfect guy..a so so guy is enough" Yeah rite..jz admit it..if you are in a rich and wealthy family, will you dare to live with a not-so-wealthy background guy? they will say "yes" once they are in love but come to think of it, can "love" buy you a GUCCI or VERSACE or even a MCDs? no..its ok to live with a guy who are sincere to you and have a little bit of money..even though he is not sooo rich..and its ok to live wit a guy who works hard to be accomplish and at last he gains his own wealth at least u know the money comes from his hand..but what if, the money comes from the parents itself..u do want to live wit his parents forever??hehehe..and obviously u dont wan to be a filthy bitch who runs after his's money aight??

Why am I writing this information in my blog??well what the heck its my blog anyways..I am writing based on the facts..the real truth..heheh..the truth has yet to be dicussed openly..but where is the justice when someone needed it??heheh ok enuff about this rubbish..anyway I am truly belive in horoscopes sign and I think mine's always accurate~tsk~tsk~

PISCES IN A NUTSHELL

The sign of the Dreamer-Poet, the Oculist

Personality: Psychic and poetic, often moody, hypersensitive, impractical, secretive, kind, self-sacrificing, drifting, escapist, compassionate, gentle.

Positive Qualities: Liberal and sensitive, gentle and caring, progressive and kind, persuasive, nature-loving and imaginative, humane.

Negative Qualities: Uncertain, vague, easygoing, sometimes careless, difficult to understand, impractical, occasionally lacking in balance.

*14 dayz to go

Sarawak 101

I have been learning Sarawakian language and its so cool..I have passed the basic level and I can (officially) speak the language..even tho not too perfect..just a bit tho'

Olivia ajar kamek kelakar sarawak..just now, Willy ajar kamek few more words..kamek even madah ngan nya swakian bah..


Kali-Maybe Mungkin
Sigek-One Satu
Sik-No Tak
Aok-Yes Ya
Mala-Always Selalu
Miak-Kids Budak
Mun-If kalau
Kedak-Like macam
Ya-That Tu
Lekak-Then Pastu
Eboh-Don't Jangan
Gilak-Very Sangat
Sinun-Farther Sana
Nok-Like Yang
Neng-Memang Of course
Sia-There Situ
Siney-Where Mana
Situk-Here Sini
Alu-Crazy Gila
Rah-At Kat
Kedirik-Alone Sendiri
Nanya-Ask Tanya

Sarawakian language
English translation
Malay translation

Things to be Mend..

To the dearest best friend I've ever had,
this is a dedication to you,
you deserve every word of it,
for all the little things you do.

Lately I've been thinking if,
if suddenly our lives just changed,
if nothing would ever be the same,
and our friendship was rearranged.

And lately I've been thinking,
of the place for you in my heart,
its one that will never disappear,
even if we might have to part.

You are my shelter out of the rain,
the sun shining down on me,
you're one of the best parts of my life,
and i have to let you see.

That you mean more than my own life,
and for you i know I'd die,
because all i want is to know your happy,
and theres someone to hear your cries.

I have finally realized,
that friendship is the greatest of all,
and i never want to lose what we have,
i need you to catch my fall.

Not a day passes through my life,
when i don't think of your face,
of the million times you've made me smile,
the memories that wont erase...

He sent me this poem via message..and I melt..Ihave been thinking to mend things btwn us but I didnt had the guts to talk to him and apologize to him because of my STUPID EGO..why am I being so egoistic, selfish and unreasonable??why??I have no idea..

I have been talking to other friend and he told me, I should talk to him and do not put any high-expectations anymore..what is past, jz let it be the past..arghhh why is it so ez?? I wish it was that ez..letting fo your past and live in the present..after a while, I did had the courage to speak to him via sms and he hasn't reply since..I dun know, maybe he still angry at me or he doesn't want to talk to me anymore???Maybe it's my fault and if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore then I guess, I should move on because it was entirely my fault. I started this supid fight and I have to pay the price..

If I had the chance to take this back, I would..I will not being selfish and unreasonable...why I was so grumpy and unreasonable at him??why??because I have been emotionally attached to hIm? because he was always there when I needed him??because all this time, the only person he has been loved is me?? now he has someonelse in his life then I am not needed anymore?? I dun know..now I am blaming my self for the stupid mistakes I have ever made..I was being harsh and rude to him over a small thing..how selfish I was =(

I had an accident on friday...on the way to the airport to send my mom..I was shocked even though it was no serious injury..a car hit my car from the back..and his car was broken and mine was not..only a few straches...i was relieved..well at least my car doesn't had any serious damage if not, my mom would be screaming and yelling to me on the way to the airport..but I pity the guy..His car was broken on the front-part..well what can I say, a toyota-corola hit honda crv-sport-four-wheel drive car..obviously, nothing happend to me but I feel sorry for him tho'..hope nothing will happen again to me in the future..AMIN..

HAPPY HALLOWEEN PEEPS..no scaring people around ya? oh yeah..do some trick-treat OK kids?? You'll get more loliess..!! sweet'as

*15 DAYZ TO GO

Selagi Ada... (Cinta)
Ning Baizura (Ajai / Nurul)

Telah kulakukan semuanya kasih
Telah kukorbankan segalanya
Namun ku sendiri tak pernah mengerti
Apa yang engkau fikirkan
Apa yang engkau inginkan

Ku tahu kau tak pernah setia (kasih)
Ku tahu diriku tak bererti
Namun ku sendiri tak pernah mengerti
Apa yang engkau fikirkan
Apa yang engkau inginkan

Selagi ada cinta di hatiku
Selagi ada rindu yang membara
Selagi air mata ini mengalir
Kau tetap di hati ini
Cintamu tetap di hati

Selagi ku mampu bertahan kekasih
Jangan sampai cinta tiada lagi
Jika memang cinta tiada lagi (kasih)
Tinggalkan aku sendiri...
Tinggalkan cintamu kasih...

Selagi ada cinta di hatiku
Selagi ada rindu yang membara
Selagi ku mampu bertahan kasih
Ku terima segalanya
Walau hatiku merana...