true friends stay forever

morality bites doesnt it?

why does morality bites?because you are actually living in the real world where life sucks and shit happens. only people who truly trust you will stay forever ini your heart.

Some people only befriending w you bcoz they have their reasons. Either to let loose their stupid problems that have been burden their shoulder or they truly admire your friendship qualities. In my case, ive been friending w both, where some stick w me whereas some stick w me when they have problems. Am i really a place when ppl can throw all their shitty stuffs to me and when they are over w it, they are over w me too?

I am actually piss w some of my friends who treat me like a shit. I dont/never treat them like a shit unless they are a shit to me. If they are so, then goodbye to our friendship. But why some ppl still have the courage to do so? can their think abt other's ppl feelings? cnt they just say "hi" even tho we hardly seen each other?why is it so hard to do so? where are the promises that say "we shud hang out when you are back", But where is the "hang out"?except making excuses "i cant make it, m too bz yaddi yadda". If it's for the first few times then its fine but dont be such a bitch when i tried to ring. That is just so useless. I know you are bz w ur life but dont make promises if you cant keep it. Simple as that!!

Right here..waiting

morality does bites isnt it?

well hell yeah..Didnt realise ive been home for almost 2 months now and i am leaving on the 5th jan 06. Back to Wgtn, which means no play-rest-..it means work work work. not like now I am actually in the holiday-spree..in heaven..sleep-eating-sleep again-shopping-tv-dvds. What do u expect when you are a bummer? of course you will be doing that..d'oh!

Newayz nothing really interesting happening since ive been home..enjoying the sun, the food, the shopping spree, the nothing-to-be-worrying-about..so i admit its good to be home

honestly i am really sad when i start to think il be once again leaving my families here in Malaysia. GOd knows il be seeing them in couple of months time..if it soon enuff then it will be middle of the yr or else it will be end of the year.

well nevertheless, enjoy what you have and appreciate it what's infront of you

*the food is awesome back here"

the summary of me

I realise i havent been updating my blog for about a month now..well its not that I didnt want to but because I am just so lazy to sit now and type the words...wish that i had someone to type what I am about to say (keep dreaming IKE)..anyways i have been busy preparing tasks for the kids at work..so got no time to sit now and type unnecessary things (hahahha..)

well i am in KL now...been home for abt 1 1/2 weeks now and feel so bored!! i was always bz and now i'v got more time to relax, so it is SO NOT ME. but i know that i have to get used to it :)

love spending time with my lil' bro and family. thats more important. Anyways this year ive got the chance to celebrate raya in KL after been raya in wellington for abt 4 years. The celebration?? well nothing special xcept ive got the chance to meet all the relatives who i havent meet for ages. well some of them have been married and some of their children have grown up. KInda funny as before i left Msia 4 yrs ago, their kids used to be so small..(how time flies). Anyways its good to see all the familiar faces again.

At the moment i am in singapore visiting my realatives whom i havent seen for years. i have finally met my cousin whom i still close to. Even tho we havent met for ages but our "cousiness" still remains strong. We still able to talk about stuff even tho she is 4 years younger than me :)

i guess its a good thing for me to be back home for a while after being away coz since ive got bak, my anty, my grandmother and my uncle have been admitted to the hospital. So i guess its a good thing that ive got the chance to visit them when i am here :)

selamat berpuasa

"Selamat Berpuasa to everyone"

the first day of puasa today and i break-fast with pasta. yummy..dont feel like eating rice at all thats y i ate pasta..so parents dont haf to worry ook..i am well-feed..

counting dayz to go home aand i cant wait..cant wait to see my family..

listen up people!

dear all the people who know me

m going back end of this month....yeay!!

where do i begin?

am actually trying really hard to start blogging today. normally i wud write continously without stopping but today I feel so emotional down. I feel so down that I feel i want to fly home and dont want to come back anymore. I know i shudnt be running away from things but i guess as always being me (too sensitive) i ended up feeling sorry for myself.

over the weekend i received 3 straight bad news. was trying to accept the first bad news then later i received 2 bad news at the same time. I was frustated and burst to tears. and then the bad news continuosly happening. first bad news my current boss is no longer work at the place. the boss whom i really respect and she is not just the boss, she is also my good friend well more like my sister. she taught me everything i ought to know. when she told me she's not coming back to work, i was shocked and dissapointed and sad.. really sad that there were no words to express how i feel.

the second bad news, the kid whom i really really love and adore and whom i have been treating him like a brother just lost his place to live. not because his anty didnt want him but because he has been lying continously to his anty and his anty has been sacrificing everything she has just to raise him. when he lied again again last weekend, his anty decided, thats it no more turning back. so his anty told me that she does not want him bck. i burst to tears when i heard because the first thing that came out from my mind was that "where is he going to live"? honestly i totally object if he's going back to his parents house as his father used to beat him alot...he even ended up in the hospital. BUT my worst nightmate came true. now he is ended up staying at his parents for a while until further notice where will he be going next.

the third news was that another kid whom i really enjoy having got fostered. so he is now being foster by a zimbawwe family. knowing his past i am happy for him but deep down i do miss him bcoz i enjoy talking to him and hanging out with him even tho he can be as aggressive as another typical 11 year old. now he's gone i am so crushed.

after my current boss left, ive been taking over the school hols programme. i never complaint for the things i am told to do but bcoz my emotions are still tied up and easily break, even the smallest things that happend made me burst to tears. e.g a kid who is u nder my supervision ran away last nite at 7pm in nite and normally i wudnt cry or anything coz i knew he always runs away and he likes running and jumping over the fence but like i sed my emotions are still fragile, i burst to tears after i catched him running on the field. I know its stupid but when you are emotionally down, even small things can trigger the tears. then after that kid was sorted out, i had to give another kid a bath. normally i wudnt cry if the bathroom flooded but bcoz i am still fragile, i cried like a stupid gurl who lost her barbie doll. I dont know why but everything seems to be falling apart. there are also other things (which i dont want to mention here) have made me burst to tears yesterday. i ended up crying to my friends and my co-worker last nite.

I tried to stay happy and smile all the times but i just cant do it. THe kid (who jz went bck to his parents' hse) always like to piss me off and we always fight even on stupid things all the times. but like today i know he didnt do it on purpose, but he accidently pinched me on my arm when we were talking in the car and the tears were easily out from my eyes. i cried just bcoz i got pinched and it wasnt that hard but because i am still emotionally down, even small things can made me cry. honestly today i was thnking not to stay at work and felt like going home and sleep and when i wake up the next day i can just think everything was just a bad dream. but i guess the reality is always going to be like that. accepting the reality because thats what the life really are.

i dont know abt the future but as far as i concern i am still emotionally tied down and even small things can triggers the big things...i am jz not ready for anther bad news..seriously

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

You And Me-LifeHouse

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves,

Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

a return to love - Marianne Williamson

THE WORKBOOK

ok someone who is close to me hinted me to do what have happend from the day I was born until now..so here goes..

21st February 1981

I was born on that day and well i cant remember what happend but my mom told me that I was beautiful (yeah rite..perasannye). I was born in penang and my nenek took care of me since my parents were still studying at that time. I always remember this sentence from my nenek "nenek naik kereta jauh sebab nak tengok kaklong, cucu pertama. nenek suka sangat"

8th october 1984
My brother was born. I cant exactly remember what happend but i guess iw as numb at that time. I love my brother and i remember looking at some pictures that were taken by my dad i was jumping and kissing my brother.

Kiddie yr

As a kid, I has always been a rebellious. Cause a lot of troubles and never listened to my parents esp my mom. Always picked up a fight with my brother and i admit i hated him when i was a kid. I never liked him so much and i always wish that i never had him. The main reasonw as because he got all the attentions whereas I ended up getting into troubles. Anyways this year was the year where I started joining dancing performance. Dancing has always been the vital part in my life. I remembered looking at photos of me dancing on the stage when i was a little kid. hmm i looked cute tho' (perasan)

teenage yr

proud to admit, i was rebellious and trouble-maker in this year. I always picked up fight with my parents. Always ended up making them crossed at me and always find somethingelse to blame. Never admit my mistakes and always made excuses. Never listed to my parents and always searching for freedom (even tho i think i was given tooo much freedom). I remember this year where i got a warnning letter from the school and my parents were very crossed at me. I remember my papa used to say "papa nak frame surat ni nak tunjuk kat anak2 kaklong" . When i think about what he sed I laughed because it didnt occur to me that i was the trouble maker. I always made everyone inclu my anties crossed at me. I was so proud of being me and i never think about anythingelse but ME. I always picked fight with my brother and sometimes when we fought, we ended hurting each other. I was so temperamental and hot tempered.

Adolescense year

I got to Uitm to do Dip in Secretarial Science after SPM result came out. I had 2 offers at that time. Either Sec or Fashion design. Papa insisted me taking the design but Mama strongly advised me to do the Sec. I was so keen to Design but i dont know what got into me i chose sec. I have always knew i am not that "secretarial person" but i found it was fascinating.."eww me doing secretary course". I studied less and played hard. I hardly studied and always searched for fun stuff to do. I always ended copying my flatmates's homework esp in the shorthand coz it was so *&^%ing hard. I never like it. I hated it.WHen the result came out, I failed the shorthand but I passed everythingelse but because the course requirement indicated that "shorthand" is compulsory, I didnt got the chance to go to next level. So packed my bags and got home.

WHile waiting for another intake, I worked as an admin for a while and until one day my mom dropped the bom and sed "I got transfer to OZ, so we are going in abt 3 weeks!!" I was speechless..OZ? Australia??what the hell??so I resign from work and we all ended packing our stuffs until a week after that mama told us again we are not going to oz but NEw Zealand instead. So I packed my bags and left Msia.

Now

Here in wgtn, I started my degree and still contemplating to finish whatver leftova for me. I am trying hard to finish what I have. I really want to have a degree bcoz I want too and for mama who has been fighting to get me an education. She has been trying in every she can just to get me to finish my degree. Never look down on me but believe in what I am. While studying I have been doing enourmous part-time to get an extra pocket money. But all the jobs I have worked for never last for at least 6 months until I starting working at IHC/IDEA services. I really like this job so much. Working with disable kids really satisfy me. I always cant wait to go to work and never leave the work until I think I have done good deeds. WEll I do have my ups and downs at work but it never discourage me to do work better. I take it as it comes and go. I love the job. Period

Future

I used to see myself working in an office with blazer or suits. Signing papers and do paperworks. Meeting with clients and attend meetings but NOW I see myself in totally different perspectives. Working with disable kids. Feeding the highneeds.Doing gastronomy and showering the kids. Aware of the seizure that can happens anytime. Give meds when the meds time arrive. Chasing the hyperactive kids who like to run or climbing on the fence. Jumping on the tramps with them or even talking to them even tho they never reply on what I said. Thats where I see myself in future.

The saddest part

Today has been a saddest day of the week. First I found out that my anty who raised me passed away after had an accident this week. I was closed to her because her daughter is the same age as me but was born in different month. I was so suprised when i heard she passed away. Well i knew that she had no chance to live as the accident was terribly bad. But i guess "Allah lebih sayangkan her. Inalilah. Al-fatihah"

Well I turned up to work late today.Really late. At about 4.15pm and I was supposed to finish at 6pm. Anwyays as soon as I reached there, my boss gave me this huge news like a bomb dropping on my head. She was tellling me that she might have to leave the job early as there are some things that are cannot be sorted (i betta not i disclose the matter). I was like "omigod, what happend?" and she was like "yaddi yaddi yadda" and I was like "owhh". Well honestly i felt terrible. If only there are things i can help her. Well there are but not the one she is having problem in. So i was being nice and offered her if theres anything i can do, and since i know this month is the auditing month where all the kids and the staffs are being audited. So i realised the only kid that hasnt being audited is my ALeX TaN. Ok speaking of my ALeX TaN, he is absolutely gorgeous. I know hes a boy but still he is cute. Even tho he likes to run away (and very fast) but he is cute. Every time i work with him, i ended up losing few pounds as i have to chase him when he runs away or climb the fences and i tell you he is very fast. Anways why i call him My ALeX TaN? because he listens to me and always say my name. like to say my name "ike ike" and sometimes he will say "ikeeeee" exagerating my name a bit and it is so cute..

ok ok enough i know i can talk about kids at KEMP ST all day but anyways i love working there. hate to admit but actually i have found my satisfaction my life. I know where to go now. It feels good when the end of the day you make someone happy. It feel so satisfy that every time you go to work, you get this big huge hug from someone and you feel so appreciate. Helping people i guess is the bst area in me that I am proud to admit. I don't think I can work in the office where I can sit there for ages doing office work. i dont see me in blazer. I see me chasing hyperactive kids, i see myself feeding the highneeds kids and i see myself talking to the kids that cant even reply to my conversation but doing it by smilling and gigling. thats where i see me..finally

i have realised i havent been updating my lovely blog for a month now..so here goes what have been happening in my life in one entire month..

as a start, i have been busy catching up with my studies. It is a hard subject but I think i will manage to pass it...(so parents do not have to worry ok). I am trying my very best to finish my degree no matter what.

secondly I have also been busy working. To get money as I am always broke everytime my pay period ends. I have no idea where all my pay goes. The other I sat down and calculate my expenses and I have realised I have been spending it on rent and telephone and fees. Gosh! I havent actually spending any dollars on myself. Not even shoes. So this pay period I have decided to priotize my needs first (well after paying my rent..yaddi yadda)..so yesterday I bought myself a really nice shoes..cost me nzd40 for it..welll i guess it is worth is because it is so comfortable.

The other my collegue came to my place and told me i have dozens of shoes and i replied to him "well i dont have enought" and he sed "how many shoes do you need?" "thousands" and yes i admit I am a shoe freak..I jz love shoes. I am crazy about shoes..i dont know why. I admit i dont really the shoes but when i see a really nice shoes, i admit i cant stop thinking abt it and ended up buying it. I dont really need clothes but i need shoes. and now i have dozens that i dont think i have place in my apartment to put it.

Well..winter already ended, so here comes springs..sun and sun..i miss winter but i need the sun..i feel so gloomy and cloudy whenever there is no sun. i love the sun..i love the heat..i just cant wait the summer to comes so that i can just lay on the beach and feel the sunburn..hehhe

well i know this is not about what have been happening in my entire month but oh well..i always change the subject or never follows the subject..ended up changing it or talking rubbish. Anyways honestly right NOW i am so late for work..i was supposed to be at work one hour ago but my boss rang up and asked me to dload adobe photoshop on my laptop and i am late..well the dload takes ages..and iw as inform at the very last minute (well the truth is I AM SO LAZY TO GO TO WORK TODAY) so i am ended making excuses..hehehhe oh the so typical me..:)

got to run..the dload is finished..

miss ya heaps

Gemini woman

GEMINI - WOMEN

If you were born between May 22nd and June 21st, you are a Gemini women.

Physical Appearance

• Women born under this sunsign are tall with a straight body. Your hands are long and legs are thin. Generally, Gemini females have a very thin skin from which their veins are visible.
• Your nose is sharp and long. The most beautiful part of Gemini girls are their beautiful eyes. Sometimes fascinating combinations of green shade are seen in their eyes.

Mental Attitude

• You are capable of adopting very fast to new surroundings. Mostly the females born in this sign are intellectual types. Your mind is positive and strong.
• Reading, writing, working on computers are your natural fields. You love to travel a lot . Gemini women are masters of communication and expression.

General Nature & Suitable professions

• You are quick -witted, clever and understand every situation thoroughly before reacting. Many times Geminis can plan their reactions and be happy, angry or sad as per the requirement. These qualities help them become a good business women.
• Gemini women can work best in the field of teaching, marketing, political work etc.. You can do naturally well in any sphere.

· Some of the most innovating business minds have been seen in those born in Gemini. Research is also a good field for you to work.

Health

• Though your health is generally good, over reaction, worries and anxiety are the main causes of ill health for you.
• Colds, influenza, bronchitis, T.B., defects of shoulders and arms, piles and infections of bladder may also trouble you at various stages of life.
• Systematic life with planned holidays in completely relaxing atmosphere and a good diet can keep you fit for all your life.

Money

• There will be a lot of changes as far as finances are concerned. You will experience both situations that is - plenty of resources and also compete lack of resources in your lifetime. Your love life may also be a contributing factor to your losses.
• Systematic savings and conservative investments will be the best way to get stability in life.

Romance And Sex Life

• You are romantic by nature and will have interest in many males in your lifetime You will look for good intellectual compatibility with your partner . An over bearing partner is not for you.
• It will not be easy for your mate to understand you and your nature of extremes may baffle him. Your partner will have difficult time figuring out what you think and what you want. The male in your life has to be imaginative and not afraid of experimentation if he wants to keep you satisfied.
• Gemini females do understand love and romance well and can change their partners with surprizing ease. It is not difficult for them to discontinue any relationship that they think is not in thier best interests.
• The hotspots for Gemini woman are arms and armpits.

Marriage

• You will find marriage exciting and interesting. You are intelligent, and so you should marry someone who have similar trails otherwise you will not be able to continue your life with him.
• You will tend to have a large share in the decision-making within the married life and will often find difficult to survive with a husband who is pushy. So, try to find a person who can understand you and would mould himself as per your needs.
• For this reason, an arranged marriage where proper care has not been taken to match the horoscopes or to see the inclinations of the girl and boy do not work well for a Gemini girl.

Ideal Match

• For you the best match will be the one born in Libra, Capricorn, Aries, Cancer or Leo signs.

Caution

• Gemini women are very amenable to change and they like lot of changes in their surroundings. This may sometimes lead to more tension and stress in your life. So, try to get more of consistency and less of changes in life.

Lucky Days, Numbers And Colours

• Lucky days are Wednesday and Thursday.
• Lucky numbers are 5 & 3.
• Lucky colours are green and yellow.

Recommended Gemstones

• Emerald and Yellow sapphire are the recommended gemstones for you. The Gem should never have been worn before and its aura should be vibrant. The weight of the Gem shall be decided in accordance with your age and body weight.

Cancer Woman

CANCER
(June 22 - July 22)

Physical Appearance

• You are generally not very tall
• The shape of your face is either oval or round
• The colour of your hair is largely brown. And, you do have a nice set of dentures
• Some of you may develop a paunch in your mid thirties.

Mental Attitude

• You can carry the masses along with you! Cancerian women are good orators and can prove to be excellent teachers, preachers and public speakers. They also possess a good memory.
• A deeper understanding of emotions and interest in poetry are common amongst Cancerian women as they are a very emotional person themselves and tend to write poetry at some stage of their life.

General Nature

• You have a very varied nature, being very timid some times and quite courageous at other . It is also not very easy to judge you or make definitive comments about your personality in one go.
• Cancerrian women are sympathetic ,to the extent of being over sensitive. As a result they get irritated easily.On the positive side you also have some magnetic qualities that help you have increased charisma and greator degree of fame.
• Your lord moon also gives you a keen sense of art and writing . Though it sounds quite funny , some of you can also develop psychic powers more easily than your counterparts of other signs.
• Anger and mushy feelings come to you as quickly but they also make a quick departure as well. This particular trait can make you look very strange or even queer types to the people around you.

Health

• You keep fragile to moderately good health until youth but the constitution becomes stronger as the age advances.
• The chest and stomach are two weak areas. The possible diseases are TB, asthma, gastric disturbances and weak digestion. Some of the other diseases that might trouble you are over indulgence in alcoholic drinks, excessive eating and some kind of a fear complex.

Money

• Very few Cancer born natives accumulate wealth in their early years. Being quite easy with thier finances, they spend a lot on travelling and to an extent in also showing off their wealth.
• But as you reach middle age you understand the virtues of saving and then you tend to save and invest quite seriously . That leads to a comfortable later life.

Romance And Sex Life

• Cancerian women are romantic and passionate by nature . They are very sincere and devoted in thier relationship with the opposite sex but are seldom understood correctly or get an equal reciprocal sincerity.
• Your ideas of love and romance come straight from the story book and you have very great expectations from your partner.
• The area around the naval cavity is the hotspot from you.

Marriage

• For you the home is of a great consequence and family life will be very important to you. You will tend to marry early because you prefer settled life and children.
• You are sincere in marriage and devoted to the family but sometimes you tend to be overly critical and dissatisfied. This leads to an innecessary increase in your tensions.

Ideal Match

• Your best match is with people born in Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces signs.

Caution

• Daydreaming and one-sided relationships (where one wants to take most willingly and give hesitantly) - are the peculiar problems faced by the cancer born people. You should try to correct this and also reduce the quick variations of your moods.

Lucky Days, Numbers And Colours

• Monday & Sunday are Lucky days for you.
• The numbers 2,7,9 are fortunate and
• White , Cream, Red and Yellow are your lucky colors.

Recommended Gemstones

• Pearl and Ruby are the recommended gemstones for you. The Gem should be of vibrant Aura and should never have been used before.
• The weight of the Gem will be decided as per your age and body weight.

Aquarius woman

AQUARIUS
(January 21-February 20)

Physical Appearance

• Fair, tall, elegant and sturdy
• A charming, oval face
• The hair usually has a tinge of brown
• The teeth may be defective
• There may be a mole or scar on the calf muscle

Mental Attitude

• Usually intelligent, you can see through the motives of a person. You have the ability to read the character of a person after a few meetings.
• Blessed with a very high level of concentration and understanding, you can easily get to the root of any problem.

General Nature

• The Aquarian woman can be quite rigid in her views. You make friends with a lot of difficulty, but once made, the friendship is sincere and forever.
• You are definitely not the kind of person who will back-bite and work against your friends. True to your words and feelings, you are not only sincere in front of a person but also even in his absence.
• Women born under this sign are drawn to meditation. You can be a loner and may lead an almost hermit-like existence at some stage in life.
• As an Aquarian woman, you will also have a lot of interest in the material life. You may be inclined to accumulate a lot during your lifetime. But again, the present day woman may not actually identify in toto with the traits defined by the Zodiac astrology of yore.
• You are a systematic and organised worker, but a bit slow. This is because you must get to the root of the concept before embarking on anything.
• The strengths and weaknesses of an Aquarian woman are not read very easily. The world knows and understands only that what you want to make it understand!

Health

• Infectious diseases, skin ailments, tooth troubles, tonsils and problems with leg muscles are some of the common problems women under this sign face.
• You also have to protect yourself from excessive heat and cold. Take sufficient rest and exercise for a well-toned existence.

Money

• Slow and steady in earning money, you can accumulate a lot of wealth through your talent and ambition. You will not run after wealth, but wealth shall follow you forever. You also have the ability to create organisations and develop innovative systems through which you can earn large incomes.
• Though you will earn a lot, there is also the danger that you may get into the habit of cheating and deceiving those you deal with. Guard against this tendency or it could well lead to your downfall.

Romance And Sex Life

• Aquarians seek refined and intelligent partners. Quite unassuming, you are not likely to boss over your partner. In fact, being a great student of human nature you will be able to exert a lot of control on your partner.
• In romance, you start a bit late but pick up fast. You soon learn very ingenious way of getting to know men and can lead them on to a merry chase! This satisfies your ego. But, when you do make the final choice, it is with great care. Once you get serious with a man you will be totally devoted to him.
• You will very rarely be jealous of other women.You will seldom have time for such thoughts, but if you find him insincere you can leave him without a second thought.
• Not interested in sex for the sake of it, you can be led into it with a lot of patience.
• Gentle rubbing on your calves and ankles makes you ecstatic.

Marriage

• You marry late, but divorces are very rare with Aquarian women. Your marriage will be considered as a model marriage. One, you have the ability to see through your partner and decide accordingly. Secondly, you are generally very beautiful. You are endowed with a charm which keeps your husband tied down to you for eternity!
• An Aquarian can handle her home and children in the most unconventional way.You may try strange combinations and arrangements and also make them look good.
• You will be able to handle guests in a most remarkable manner and can hold forth on any subject on earth. You can converse with children as if you are one of them and you can talk to an eighty-year-old as if you are of the same age group.

Ideal Match

• Men born in Leo, Gemini and Taurus signs are the ideal match for you.

Caution

• A mood that fluctuates more easily than the weather can be your bane! You can sink from the heights of joy to the pits of depression. When on a high, you think the world is in your pocket and that you are a winner and shall remain a winner always. When in a pensive mood, you tend to think that there is no person more wronged as you have been, that you do not have a future... What you do and say during these irrational phases is what puts you in deep trouble.
• You should control your moods. Keep yourself calm and do regular meditation. Develop faith in God and try to understand the law of Karma.

Lucky Days, Numbers And Colours

• Thursdays, Fridays and Tuesdays are lucky for you.
• 3, 9, 2, 7 are your lucky numbers.
• Yellow, red and white are your lucky colours.

Recommended Gemstones

• Diamond, yellow sapphire and ruby are your lucky gemstones. The stones should be of a vibrant Aura and should not have been worn before. The weight of the stone should be decided as per your body weight and age.

pieces woman

PISCES - WOMEN

If you were born between February 21ST and March 21st, you are a Piscean woman.

Physical Appearance

• Generally, Piscean women are seen to be not very tall and plumpy .
• The eyes are quite big and protruding. Hands and feet are either strikingly beautiful or else outproportioned, big and bulky.
• The shoulders are muscular and spherical.

Mental Attitude

• You are philosophical, restless and honest. You can go beyond your means to help people in need.
• Not perturbed easily, you can help even your opponents calm down by your gentle behavior .Your nature is to forgive and forget.

General Nature

• Your mind is not very steady. It often wanders from spiritualism to materialism . This reduces your concentration thereby making it difficult to achieve your full potential. A Piscean woman may also lack in self confidence. However that does not deter her from being an expert planner .
• You will aim very high and can develop right connections to achieve your aims. Generally, Piscians develop good connections that they encash at the right time.
• You are either at the top of the ladder or else at the bottom of it. Generally, Pisceans being too ambitious either rise to very high positions or else turn into dreamers and are unable to fight the battle of life.
• You will have a strong wish to go to foreign lands and visit beautiful places.

Health

• You may be drawn towards excesses that means you may be eating and drinking in excess, making you ill. You may suffer from varicose veins or guinea worms.
• Problems connected with lever, ankles and feet are possible.You should take care of them.

Money

• Generous by nature and ever helping your friends, you are unable to save much. Though due to your mental capacity, which is far in excess of women of other signs, you have a high income level.
• You will not like to depend on anyone for finances and you are wiling to do even extra work to keep your self financially secure.

Romance And Sex Life

• Very romantic by nature, you dream of romance. However you may feel somewhat frustrated as the dreams seldom come true in actual life .
• You are very suspicious, you will keep a tab on your lover and if you see him friendly with another women you feel the pinch.
• You are loyal and once you form a relationship, yo continue it for a long time though sometimes you may feel a sudden loss of interest in your partner. Many a time, Piscean women can carry two or more relationships simultaneously.
• Having a basically shy nature, you are not the one who will make a move yourself in love life. You will expect your lover to make all the moves and you will only react to them.
• But, sometimes you can act completely differently. With deception , you can easily control your men with your superior brain and use them for your purposes.
• Any foreplay involving water will turn you on, feet are your hot spots.

Marriage

• You will dream of marrying a Mr. Perfect and you will want him to have all the qualities possible in a husband. But you will not be working hard to get him. Thus, chances of delay in marriage or a marriage which will not work are not ruled out. You will require a very diplomatic and well mannered husband to stay on.
• A Piscean woman keeps good upkeep of her house. Being yourself fond of food and drinks you will stock them well for guests also.
• For a stable married love life, you should check your dreamy nature and live in practical world.

Ideal Match

Virgo and Cancer males are the best mates of a Piscean women.

Caution

• Having very high desires, dreams and a changeable nature are your worst problems. You should live in the practical world and be less utopian if you want to be successful.

Lucky Days, Numbers And Colours

• Thursdays, Tuesdays and Sundays are lucky for you.
• 1, 3, 4, 9 are your lucky numbers.
• Red, Orange and Yellow are fortunate.

Recommended Gemstones

• Yellow, Sapphire, Pearl and Emerald are the lucky Gemstones for you. The Gem should be of a vibrant Aura and should have never been worn before. The weight of the Gemstone shall be decided as per your age and body weight.

Whats been happening..ya?

I have realised i havent been blogging for ova a mnth now..well thats bcoz I have all lazy to get into my blog...and sit there writting abt what have been happening...

1. I have been working almost everyday now..

2. Got no time to catching up with my bestmate christy..since she is also busy collecting money like me :)

3. I have class to attend and assingment to do during the Uni hols *sob*

4. Currently I am organising the Holiday programmes for the kids in September and oh yeah we have a camp to attend (for the kids)

5. I have not got the time to think straight at the moment..everything I do I am doing right away without thinking (which is not good)

6. I miss Home..and have been dreaming home for the past 2 months now..non-stop

7. Finally I am talking to my brother, Afzul after a major incident last month (which I dont want to talk about it..let by gones b by gones).

8. I have not save any cents yet from my salary (poor me)

9. I have lost weight (thats good considering I have been trying to do it for the past couple of months).

10. I am so want to take a break but I can't coz my boss needs me *cry*

11. Got a new Kid staying at the base since last week and he is so adorable..his foster family doesnt want him but instead keep his little brother. there is absolutely nothing wrong with him but bcoz he has had bad history in his family so he acts a bit reserved. I just understand why certain people dare to separate the siblings from each other..wat happend to humanity these days??

12. I am so want to go home..desperately..parents hear me outtttt!! send me a ticket!!!!

13. I have not been talking to NiNie for ages and I miss that!!

14. on september the 17th, I am going to boyz to men concert..really!! dont care :)

15. i love my job and i hope il be working there til i m not wanted (i hope not)

16.I want to go home

17. i wan to run awa y from this misery

18. i wan to go home

19. really i wan to go home

20. do u ever notice how many times have i written " i want to go home?" so parents please send me a ticket..thank you please come again :)

long updates 2

ok as i was saying yesterday abt how the kids are yaddi yadda..and nw i wan to talkk abt the staffs (yeay). my boss Rachel Cooper, She's awesome and a greaat boss..lurve her..i think her as my sister rather than my boss. shes nice person but so sad that shes leaving IHC in january to go back to Britain (yes she is british). definitely gonna miss her heaps..hmm oh yeah, Teri Marsters. He's my sleepingover mate. hes great. more like a brother to me. he taught me everything from a to z in Kemp st. he was the one who taught me how to giv meds and told me abt the kids in KS. n yeah hes pretty awesome aye. hmm whoelse..well Ting has gone ..shes awesome too. she was the first person who told me what to do and whats need to be done in KS when I started work. but she left middle ths yr :( hugz..n theres some other ppl like vanessa, yuki, todd..these are few ppl whom i close with..

heheh yesterday me n ne of my collegue had a long conversations abt the male staffs in KS..well jz to kill the time..we both were so tired from the hols programme so we sat down n yaddi yadda..n there goes this one question.."if the males population in this planet are no longer exists, which of the male staff members you will choose"?hmm..i had a long thinking abt that coz i am really picky in chosing guys (and yes I admit that)..well she chose I, k chose M n i chose I at first but i changd my mind. i chose D instead cz i haf a crush on him eventh i knw hes going out with one of the staff members. well is just a crush. its not like a serious issues rite??

anyways was fun yesterday. was supposed to sleep over but there wasnt even one kid to sleep over..so me n my collegue went home arnd 12 am. after doing some cleans up at the KS. n guess what, my boss gave me the key at KS. so i am now one of the keys holder..but not so wow coz if ppl get stuck outside, they have to call one of the keys holder. hehehe..oh well..

oh yeah since the hols prog started n finished last wk, i have lost 2 kilos..isnt that great???yes yes
yes yes
i am so happy..heheheh thats good..i know my parents will be happy..heheh n me too!!

ok gtg..thats the long updates..need to get to work..ciao

long updates

I just realize that i havent been updated my blog for almost 2 weeks now. been so busy working ont he holiday programmes that I had not time to sit down properly and update myself. hmm..what have been happening? well for instance, i have been working my ass for 24/7 and i love being busy and tired..at least i can make myself occupied with valuable things rather than doing something silly. but i still have the time to go out and fun tho'. thats for sure..

holiday programmes have gone but the memories still with me. i love spending time with the kids. one of my affections these days. they make me happy so do i. but sometimes shit happens and u cant prevent it from happening. for instance, last week i met a new boy name blair and his on wheelchair BUT he kicks people even tho hes on wheelchair. I was told by his parents that he likes pulling hair and scratching and bitting..as well as LICKING and he doesnt reallly likes gurl. he's kinda man's boy. Ok thats fine with me coz i kinda get it a lot..so i said to myself, this boy must be challenging. So i gave him some space coz i dun want to push him too hard to let him to know me..so later at nite i went to his room and talk with him and let him to know me and let him to come to me..at first i tot he was going to bit me but he was starting to play arm-wrestling with me..and started to lick him..(that means he likes you) but eww gross..anyways we bonded..he sticked to me the whole nite..well thats great considering iw as told he doesnt likes gurl..

sometimes i wonder that am I look like a boy to them coz all the boys at Kemp St. like to play with me instead. The gurls dont really like me..they never really want to hang out with me..but with the boys they do..they like to play arm-wrestling, chasing, kicking and bitting..i figure theres must be something with me that they like..come to think of it,i grew up aith 5 boys in my family (both side) so i guess i mustve act like a boy..i dont mind actually..i like it..so no complain

ok back to Blair, the next day we started to plap chasing and kicking and jumping..and when we were on the trampoliine, he started to get so nervous he started to sctrach my on my face..damn it was hard one..my right face got swollen a bit..but its ok i guess..then later after that he started to bit my nose and chin..damn..that goes another 2 of incident of blair...then one f my collugues brought me a chips and blair ate it..then i figure he must been hungry so i took him inside. when iw as holding him, he was starting to pull my hair but wasnt that hard.. he just like to pull my hair but doesnt mean hes going to pull it hard-out. he just like to pull it so that your head will reach his head but my collegue was misunderstood. she tot he was pulling my hair, so she push his hand out from my hair but instead blair got agitated, he sctrach my left face instead, my tears were abt coming out from my eyes...it was s hard-out sratch.so my left face got swollen..there goes my mr blair cross..:) but i still love the boy. hes cute even tho he gave me a really nice "present" :) well as a result, now i have few scratch marks on my face..heheheh..

i was planning to go back in august for 2 weeks break but now i dotn think i will go back as i have tones of work to do n besides my financial doesnt allow me to go back.. *sigh* if only i have million bucks in my acc, i can just go home whenever i want..

gosh i am late for work..i think il continue this later..:) to be continued

Yea thats go the ball... 

1,,2,3 hit 

Looking at the golf ball 

Golfing 

Holiday Programs

this mite be the shortest entries as I have to rush to work now. I haf been working at IHC most of the times and now is the holidays for the primary and secondary kids. So my job is to bring them out (field trip, e.g) I went to the gym on monday and tuesday. 2 days inthe row..and after that I brought them to the aotea lagoon whatever they call. I had a great fun there..but more fun was seeing the smiley happy faces on each of the kids..what can be more happier than seeing happy faces?

First time in the month..finally

finally first time in the month, I had the chance to buy a new pair of shoes..a sneaker..i really wanted a sneaker..my previous sneaker has a hole inthere so i cant wear it in rainy days..sad..i really lurveeee the shoes..oh well..now at least i haf a new pair..yey..cost me arnd 190 NZD heheh..crazy me to buy a new shoes.in that price..what the heck i lurve it anyways..

havnt really got a chance to take a foto of my room..will do it one day..when im not tired enuff :)

finally..got a pendrive

my cute pendrive..heheh on the laptop

one of my precious things in the world

my laptop..precious

my fav spot in the room

my fav spot; where i hang all my stuffs

addicted to Nike

my new shoes

new life..new beginning

finally i have moved to my own place..the place where i can all "my own". been dying to live by myself and now yeah it has been achieve :)

i lurrrrvvee my new place..i didnt realise i had so many stuffss when i moved it from my old place to my new apartment..took me 2 trips backnforth..by time i got there, i can see the manager or the building was smilling at me..well particularly to my stuffs.. he must have been wondering..where shud i put all those stuffs in my room? well my room isnt that big tho..but not that small either..jsut nice to a single person like me :)

updates

nothing much to write actually..have been thinking what to write.don really haf any grat ideas to state here..lemme seeeeeee..what have i been doing beside spending my time working??

...cant think of any..how pathetic my life has been??well not really..finally had my day off last weekend..pheww..catchup with an old friend who just returned from Malaysia for hols..lucky her..i want that as well..thank god i will haf that soon :)

uni finally starts yesterday..but my clasess officially start today..well lucky me i have morning classes this trimester (even tho I am not a morning person) but bcoz i am working in the afternoon..haf no choice but to wake up early..oh well fair enuff..at least i can work..spending time with kids..yeay!!

moving to my new house tomorrow..yey..cant wait ro rearrange everything..its like i have been planning what i want to do with my own flat..finally haf my own space..i lurve that..i can do whatever i want..even tho the flat is smaller than the old place i used to live but i dont mind as long as i am happy

well i think ibetta off to bed..tired now...long day...got class tomorow

How Do People See You?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

your japanese name

Your Japanese Name Is...

Dai Aburakoji

What's your Japanese Name?

on his very last day with me

just us


me n michael


..finally he has left me crying deep down inside..finally he has found a home..finally he has found someone who will take care of him dearly..even though i am sad but i am happy for him and will love him unconditionally...hope he will remembers me as I will always remember him..

TOP 10 REJECTION LINES BY WOMEN

TOP 10 REJECTION LINES BY WOMEN and what they actually meant:

1. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo- playing geek in "Deliverance.")

2. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.)

3. I'm not attracted to you in *that* way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)

4. My life is too complicated right now. (I'm waiting for a rich sugar daddy.)

5. I've got a boyfriend. (I've got a vibrator.)

6. I don't date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same *solar system*, much less the same building.)

7. It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.)

8. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

9. I'm celibate. (One look at you and I'm ready to swear off men altogether.)

10. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with.)

my baby

my little mickey



cutey mickey



me n michel

"Behind These Hazel Eyes"

Seems like just yesterday

You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

*to someone who used to be special in my life*

typical days for me :)

typical days for me..work work work..people (who are closed to me) have been complaining about me being workhaholic. hardly seen me around..well sorry guys..is not like I dont want to hang out but I don't see where's the point to hang out when work comes first (that's for me now). I love spending time with those kids at work. they make me happy than hanging arnd with those maniacs (not you guys ok. You guys know who I mean aye!!).

Have been working more than 20 hours a week! just imagine how many hours of sleep I have lost since I started working. Apparently I found it weird..coz I dont complain much about not having too much sleep!! coz I enjoy the work I am doing. kids are very important in my life. I dont know..i feel like lending them an extra hand does makes a different. I don't care about what people said about my job or the kids..in fact I love them more :)

speaking of that, one of the kids are leaving this thursday. the kid I have been taking care of since the day he arrived :(..i call him my baby..he's 2 and half months and he is so cute. I love spending time with him..he's cute and beautiful..what's wrong with him? well he's an intellectual disability/development but what the heck, its not his fault he has the conditions. no one to blame. everything happens for a reason :) anyways..he is sucha beautiful thing. very cute. now hes starting to walk by himself. oh ya!! his name is michael but i call him "little mickey". he likes to smile alot..laughing and drink a lot of milks..a lot infact :) hehehhe..gosh i sound like i wan to have a baby!! noooooooooo..freak me out..anyways..he's leaving this thursday coz they support worker has found him a foster family. *sob* so he will be leaving with his foster parents well foster mom to be exact. the foster mom is one of the worker at IHC. Lucky her..I wish I have the oppoturnity to be micheal's mom..oh well i dont think i can that responsibility yet. its too big for me at the mo :)

i dont know if i can see him leaving the base. i have been taking of him ever since he arrived at the base. i know every second he moves and what he is doing..when is he gonna have his nap n his milk. and three reasons why he cries :(( *sob* i will miss him esp in the middle in the night he wakes me up jsut because he wants milk or his nappy is wet. :( im emotionally attached to this kid. really! in fact i am emotionally attach to all the kids at the base. they are so pure and beautiful. (damn i am being too emotional and sensitive now).

well..i got hit from one of the kids yesterday nite because he has been having headche and sore-teeth. his wisdom teeth is coming out so he has been grumpy all the times. he hit people yesterday. first he pinched me my thighs ( och) then he pulled one of the kids's hair and my collegues and pinched my another collegues on his stomach (twice) OUCH..i dont think he did on purposed. he was trying to take out his pain to someonelse's. i know how painful the wisdom teeth pain is. had mine ages ago..but i know the pain tho' thats y i don mind he pinched if that helps him to feel better. that wasnt the first time i got hit tho. yesterday was the ..i dont know how many times..haf bruises on my feet coz got A kicked from the kids before..i feel like all the kids like to take out all the angry stuffs on me not to my collugues..hardly see them being beaten up or they never told me? or i am the choosen one to be beaten up for the hyper-active kids? dont know *sob* it's ok..not their fault anyways..well at least i dont get all those bitten from the kids...one of my collegues used to be bitten from the autism kids..wow..that must be painful..dont want that!! *a big NO NO*

moving out from the plc i am currently living in..moving to 169 the terrace on 5th july but will be staying with christy for a week or so..coz her husband will be going to OZ soon so just want to hang out with her..accompany her :) sweet'as

have a nice weekend..--back to packing up :)