Goodbye Raja Iskandar Shah

Is has left Wellington this morning and I didnt send him to the airport coz I don't have the guts to watch another of my friends leave. It's already hard to say goodbye but to watch him walk away much more harder. I wish him goodluck in his future undertakings. May he gets what he always wanted.  
p/s: that's my brother at the back sneaking into the pic

Friends Forever =)

Had dinner with fellow Malaysian students in Wellington jst now and man the dinner was superb! everyone was stuffed man. the food was alot and everyone was getting full by the time the last dish arrived. jz now was also the last dinner with Iskandar coz hes going home tomoro for good *goodbye Iskandar* he gave a speech and everyone was listening to his conversation and Jan as usual as a clown, interrupt his speech making his own jokes hehehe newayz was fun to see all the familiar faces again =)  
  
Me and friends at Satay Kajang sponsored by MSDNZ. From left: Nysha, Christy, Me, Lya, Naz. Jan, Sita. Sit down from left: Nalein, Zahrin, Yusuf, Adnin, Sean and Faz

Dear Blog

Fuh..yesterday was another tiring day of my life.Had the busiest day of the week. 9am-4pm class. I was so tired I didnt even had the guts to visit my dear blog. Sorry blog, had to ignore you for a day but now I am back. Yesterday was fun even tho' I was so damn tired. I met my Prince Charming [bak kata Jhaja]. Finally met him but the sad news is he's bold again.=( He had his hair last week tho and he looked so damn hot!Buat he's still the best looking guy evn tho' he doesn't have any hair *laugh* Anyway, I had fun with my class yesterday coz normally I would sleep the whole lecture. But yesterday was the best man! we talked about the indegeous people in Aoateroa/New Zealand. We were asked about who can claim theirself as a Maori and who can claim theirself as being a Maori as well as who can claim theirself as a Pakeha or being a Pakeha. That questions had make me think till this morning because when we had the debate yesterday, the issues weren't yet been solved. Being a Maori and a Maori have two different meaning. A Maori means you are the Maori that have a Maori descent from your ancestors but being a Maori means you are associates with the Maori itself [e.g relationship]. But the question is who can claim theirself a Maori or being a Maori? A person who has Maori blood but doesn't know the language, the culture what-so-ever still can be known as A Maori but for those who do not have the blood but know the knowledege, are they still consider as Maori or being a Maori? hm..Oh what about being a Pakeha or a Pakeha? Pakeha means you're the white people[European] that live/born in New Zealand and you're not associate with any of the Maoris. Being a Pakeha means you have connections [e.g relationship, grandparents, parents] with the European people here and do not have any connection with the Maori people. It's quite confusing aye? coz the explainations are similiar. But the word Pakeha was given from the Maori people, it means "Pake-Pakeha" which means someone with the fair skin. So not all of the people can claims themselves as a Pakeha even though they were born and educate here.

When I had this discussion yesterday, I have been thinking about my own roots as well. My mind had slipped a little bit from what I was supposed to discuss. I was thinking about my roots. My culture. About my own indegeous people in Malaysia. How many of them can claim themself as a malay, chinese, indian and what-so-over when they have forgotten about their own roots? I am not trying to raise any questions or point out finger or anything, but isnt it we have to know our own roots first before knowing other people roots? isn't it your identity is the one who shape your life? speaking of the identity, I have met few fellow Malaysian who have been brought here but never ever know their descendant or ancestors back home but have claimed themself as a Malaysian. But when I ask, do you know how to speak malay?, they replied " why should I learn the language? I'm not gonna use that language anyway, what is the point of learning it? ". "but you do claim yourself as a Malaysian but you do not speak the language, then why do you have to say you are malaysian anyway when you think the language is not important to you?isn't the language is important too? isn't the language is the thing that can identify you where do you come from? then what language you gonna use when you go back home? your grandparents would not want to speak other languages with you except your own language. It's funny how these days youngsters do not see how important is the mother tongue to them. The language that shape their culture. Without the languge, outsiders would not know where do you come from. They can claim themselves as Pakeha,Maori, European whatsover but what is important is your culture. That is more valuable than anythingelse. I wouldn't claim myself to be Javanese or Chinese or somethingelse, just because I have bits of bloods from each of the categories but I will claim myself as a pure malay because in this these days you will not find any of the purity of the ethnic groups anymore.All of them have been mixed with everything. So what is so proud with your own identity anyway? because that identity is the one that will shape the part of your life. That identity will show where do you come from and where you will be categorize in..and besides there is nothing wrong to know other cultures ae. Is just you have to knw your own roots first coz that is more important..hehehI love my culture heheh [proudly admit]is just in these times like this you tend to think something that you've never thought before..just a thought not to be offensive or something. we live in a free country where thoughts are counted~so do more thinking and who knows you mite learn something from it~~ 

Another thought of my life

It's 6.00am in the morning and I am still awake. Awaken by the books that are all over my bed. I was supposed to sleep by now but how can I sleep when the books are all over my bed!!! Yet I am still awake. UNi has just started but I can almost feel the pressure right now.And guess what, I am already under lots of stress even though UNi just started two weeks ago. Just look at my workloads, it's unbelievable,. I have 3 journals, 5 essays, 5 assingments, 1 writing editing, 3 writing exercises to complete and 1 seminar presentation. How was that? Amusing? I don't think so! I have to finish all these by the end of October, before UNi close. *long sigh* I hate my subjects sometimes because it "steals" me away from my social actiavities [e.g clubs, gossips, friends] but again, I should not be complaining. I should be thankful because I do not any exams after UNi closes. Lucky Me =)
 
I called my fren, Chip before and I admit, I am a bit jealous and admire of him. Jealous because he already complete his degree whereas I am still struggling with my degree *long sigh again* He's wating for his graduation which takes place next month. *lucky him* Now I am starting to feel the presurre again. All friends have finished their study and have found an excellent job and I am still stuck here completing my degree. But why should I be sad because I remember what Chip told me, he said I inspire him somehow. I've insipires him with my confidence to study in overseas whereas he doesn' t have the chance to do so. I took it as a compliment. I never actually seen my self as an inspirer so when a person told me that, it's a big thing for me. Thanks!
 
I remember my friends back home told me that I am lucky because I have the opportunity to study at Overseas University. Different Universities than them. I questioned them, what do u mean different Uni? Isn't just an UNi after all except different names and country? They reply, I am in NZ, they are in Msia. That's the different. I have the opportunity to study in different education systems. I totally agree about the diff education systems but what I do not agree is that , education will always be an education no matter where you do learn it. Coz the end of the day, the overseas students will come home and serve their country about what they have learned. Is it? No doubt about that. If only they know what is the truth beyond the eyes they see. I know some of the students here can be helpful, cheery, friendly and nice but do not forget about some students who are selfish, pathetic. egoistic and jeolousy???Oh yeah do not forget abt the fees that increasing every year?that's sux! I have to pay a large amounts of fees whereas they only pay just a bit from us which I think that's no fair. Speaking of the fairness, where is the fairness in the world when you have striked to get the fees decrease but you've been ignore? So fair and square.
 
Oh well, I think I better go back to my work. Have to get ready for school * a very long sigh* damn those thinking have distracted me from finishing my work! damn those thinking. Oh Boy, I hope today will be another excitement day of my life. Hope to see my crush today. Haven't see him last week. Kinda missing his smile tho's. Speaking of crush huh! =) 

Companionship

Ninie, a great friend and amazing human being with a pure soul. When you're with her, she puts on this tough exterior but she's actually marshamallow soft.

I was reading the comment that my friend wrote on friendster. It's kinda touchy and emotional coz he has left NZ last saturday.  I was feeling sad and lonely after he left. Not because I do not have any friends besides him or anything but because we are more than friends. He has become a brother to me. We shared secrets and gave advices  to each other. But whats more important is that, we trust each other. Dat's more important than antyhingelse.   I've realise after living in Wellington, New Zealand, I have made lots of friends here. I have also made some enemies too :p heheh. Well i guess thats what we call the balance of life. You have to balance your life a little bit. It cannot go perfectly through your journey. It has to be ups and downs moments once in a while. Like Ninie told me, my friends feel comfortable to be around me. They feel ease whenever they around me. I take that as a compliment. For me, when my friends need me to help them, I will try my best to help them as much. Isn't that what you are supposed to do, offering a helping hand when they need a help? I guess so. My life has been improving days by days. I have gained lots of experiences by being acquainted with new people. Which I think good basically. Because I have learned how to control my life and not being control by any pathetic humanbeings. I am rebellious when I am being control. I normally do what I want to do at first without want to think what is going to happen  and face the future consequences later. Hence, because I think, my heart rules my mind and my body. I always follow my heart. It's like I have this strong instinct inside of me. I try to behave like confident, wordly-wise girl who has a mind of her own. But eventually,it is my mind that takes over.
I have watched my friends come and go. After Ninie left last year, it seems that all my friends have continuously following her steps. Recently was Firdaus and soon will be Iskandar and Jan. God knows how sad it can be, seeing fthe riends you always hang around suddenly make a huge departure in your life.  But I guess it won’t be called life, if you keep on receiving happy moments with you. Life is not about equality. Life has never been equaled to me. To me, life is like a tyre. It goes round everyday and it never sticks unless its stop-means you’re dead. Speaking of dead, I just lost my best friend. Ardiana Azrin Iskandar. She was my best friend for 9 years and she died after got hit by a truck. She was on her way to see her wedding dress. She’ going to get marry in about 2 weeks. I was shocked to receive the call from her fiancé, Hazri Irwandi. It was like a drop bomb and there was no word to describe how shocked I was it’s because I was talking to her on the phone just few hours before the whole thing happened. I can still hear the way she saying, “Hey Ike, I am on the way to see my wedding dress. It’s your favorite color, purple. I cannot wait to see it. My tailor said it’s done. I’ll call you when I am trying it on ok? Take care girl”. There, that was the last sentences she said to me. That was the last ever called I am going to received from her.  May she rest in peace..Amin

My amazing lifestyle

Went to work this morning and it wasn't a bad day for me. Normally I would be complaining and angry towards my customers. Sometimes they are nice but sometimes they can be a pain in the ass. I can see sometimes they look at me without seeing two eyes just because I work at a fast-food restaurant. So they assume people who work at the fast-food restaurant don't have the manners or anything. People do work to gain money or even experiences. People who work at this kinda of places do have feeling. Just because they work at this kind of places, doesn't mean they are low or anything. They just want to get extra pocket money. In the contrary, even though they treat me like that, I feel I am better than them because I have what they do not have [I think]. I've got money every weeks and excel in my studies and also I know how to treat people nicely. Not just judge them by it's cover. Coz I've been there and felt that. So by treating other people they why people deserve, doesn't make me a loser. It makes me a winner. Speaking of that, I was watching the movie "I am Sam" yesterday. It's definitely the best movie so far I've watched. It's definitely a movie that will teach you a lesson about love. There is no difference when it comes to love regardless whether you are normaly or disable. Sam who is a developmentally disabled adult who has been singularly raising her daughter , Lucy for all her seven years. Her daughter was taken by the social worker after they discover the father' disability. I was thinking, how can you question the father's disability of taking care her daughter when he has raised her daughther 7 years by himself? Why they do not question about the mother who is perfectly normal has left her daughter behind just because she felt ashamed being pregnant to a disable person? But they question is, how can they took her away from her after 7 years? and questioned the father tons of questions which they already know the answers? For me personally, you cannot judge what you've seen with being there personally. Sometime they do not know what they cannot see beyond the eyes. People can judge randomly but only us who know the truth.

p/s: that's the picture of my feet-was taken by me when I was in Uni last week =)  

WMSO's Party

WMSO's Party  [At the back: Jan, Idzwan, Nal, Johan & Kakera. Front: Christy, Oli, Me & Sita]

I attended the WMSO’s party just now and it was fun to see all the familiar faces again. I was so happy to see Nad again. He just arrived from Malaysia last 2-3 days. I was thinking its like Nad arrival is like replacing Firdaus’s departing. Firdaus left and Nad is here. Kinda sad to lose Firdaus but I am happy to see Nad again. At least I have someone I can talk to when I am down. Oh yeah, it was fun to see KakEra again. She’s finally here. She arrived couple of days before Nad. KakEra is like a big sister to me. With her, I am able to talk anything I want with her. I admit I like to tease her a lot even though she is older than me. At the party, I saw all the pictures that were taken on Bersatu Games. [Bersatu games is a friendly games that unites all the Malaysian students around NZ] Happy to see my friends around New Zealand from Auckland to Christchurch to Dunedin. It reminded me the memories I had with them during the Bersatu Games. But suddenly, my feeling was changed to sad feelings. I realized the Bersatu Games this year was be the last Bersatu Games I will ever joined. I won’t be here anymore when it will be in Auckland next year. I will be finishing my studies end of the year and attending the graduation next year. After that, I will be packing my bags and heading home. I will be sad to leave New Zealand when my memories have been increasing every year.

Dougie was the HERO

All Blacks won the rugby against South Africa. It was a great victory thanks to Doug Howlett who was the hero of the day. He made the last try before the games ends. On the other hand, sad to Carlos Spencer, he lost the last kick. But oh well, All Black already WON anyway even though he lost it. All Blacks-23: South African-21  

=)

...throughout the course of my life, I have learned many
things, not just the basics of living, but also the basics
of living with others - but it is that we are not or won't
be always alone. We are often in the company of one
another, whether we like it or not. My life has always
been most rewarding to me so far, but this not because the
rest are not. But it is the most memorable I have yet
because I started active socialization. I made new
friends, and learnt how and where to get new friends. I
ran... and I fell... I started to realize that I have not
just have to constantly make new friends.... but I also
have to learn how to keep them..I began to see things
differently, from a more grown up point of view - not just
making and keeping any friends, but true friends. People
whom I can trust all my secrets with, people who can
provide listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, and a heart
to care...whenever you need them there...It was only then
did I realised that true friendship is indeed more
precious than all the diamonds in the world. It reaches
beyond time, and the true miracle is in giving, not
receiving. I also realised that we do not know what we
have got until we lose it, but it is also true that what
we have been missing out until it arrives...Once, I closed
my eyes and recalled all my dear friends faces.I realised
that they all all been like one of the shooting stars we
could seldom see in the New Zealand and Malaysia's night sky.
They had streaked across my life and lit up the darkness cos
without friends, our lives would be terribly empty they have
filled up a gaping hole in my life...thanks to all of you,
 my friends, for filling up this hole in my life....