wonder if u wake up in the morning, what is the first thing that makes u happy?
of course, the smile on your face whenever you think about him :)
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Monday, May 30, 2005
kids
Since I had the oppoturnity to get money by myself, I have been learning to earn every scent that I get from the job I occupied. Before, work for me is to get money on everytime I go to work but lately I have learned. Money isn't everything. What counts is that, things that makes u happy. So I have learned.
Since I have been working at a place call "IHC" (in your community), I have not thought about money most of the times. Suprisingly, I can't wait to go to work whereas earlier in my previous job, I was so damn lazy to go to work. I love spending my times there with the kids. Hanging out with kids make me happy. I love it when they are happy. I don't even think about what time I finish coz it seems like I want to stay there forever!!
The job descriptions involve taking care of them, preparing for the breakfast, lunch, morning tea, afternoon tea and dinner, bring them out for walk, give them bath and play with them. Well it may sounds a bit too much but actually it's not. It is simple as taking care of your sisters or brother but different ways because they need a special need since some of them are in very high-need (need to be lift or can't do bathing or eat by themselves).
I love working there. It seems like I feel satisfied. I enjoy spending time with children. To have kids on my own? nah..not ready to be that responsible :) I never actually believe I am going to say this but I think my future job will be taking care disable kids. Playing with them all day long never been tired and I never found it boring. New challange everyday, (I learn new things eveyrday from them btw)New stories, new things everday. I think I am ready for being challenge coz taking care of them is the best and hard way to do! Patience is a must to work with them :)
Since I have been working at a place call "IHC" (in your community), I have not thought about money most of the times. Suprisingly, I can't wait to go to work whereas earlier in my previous job, I was so damn lazy to go to work. I love spending my times there with the kids. Hanging out with kids make me happy. I love it when they are happy. I don't even think about what time I finish coz it seems like I want to stay there forever!!
The job descriptions involve taking care of them, preparing for the breakfast, lunch, morning tea, afternoon tea and dinner, bring them out for walk, give them bath and play with them. Well it may sounds a bit too much but actually it's not. It is simple as taking care of your sisters or brother but different ways because they need a special need since some of them are in very high-need (need to be lift or can't do bathing or eat by themselves).
I love working there. It seems like I feel satisfied. I enjoy spending time with children. To have kids on my own? nah..not ready to be that responsible :) I never actually believe I am going to say this but I think my future job will be taking care disable kids. Playing with them all day long never been tired and I never found it boring. New challange everyday, (I learn new things eveyrday from them btw)New stories, new things everday. I think I am ready for being challenge coz taking care of them is the best and hard way to do! Patience is a must to work with them :)
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Busy week
Will not update this blog for this week! got 2 tests and dont have enuff time to go online..jz wanna to let u guys know..take care..thnx for reading and supporting ;)
happy birthday to dearest Elmokri razman..with love
happy birthday to dearest Elmokri razman..with love
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Saturday:
evening
I went to christy's wedding..the weddding started at 4pm but i was late...the wedding ceremony took place at this begonia house at botanic garden. I dont eve know where it was..i know where is the botanical garden but begonia house?? hell no..took me half an hour to climb up and down the hill just to find the place. when my watch showed 4 pm, iw as panicked. I ws thinking, damn im gonna be late for my bestfriend's wedding. i was nearly cried but luckily i saw these 3 tourists who happend to be lost as well. But Thank god, the passed the begonia hse, so they know where it is. by the time, i reached the begonia house, the minister was talking abt the marriage life, i was relieved coz the exchanging vows hasnt started yet.
when i looked at her signing the papers, i was actually sheding to tears. I cudnt believe she is getting married and im actually witnessing it.been ther for her ups n downs..thorugh sadness and happiness..was there wen she had on/off relationships..was there when she met damon until the day they got married..im totally happy for her..and i hope her happines till hte end of time..
Night
I went to her reception at nite..by the time i got there, my feet already blister and swollen bcoz of walking up and down the hill using the high-heels. the food was great and we had a bit talked yaddi yadda...her family was there ecept her brothers n mom..they are in msia..they didnt come with the rest of the family..
congratulations..to the bride the groom n to the both families..
evening
I went to christy's wedding..the weddding started at 4pm but i was late...the wedding ceremony took place at this begonia house at botanic garden. I dont eve know where it was..i know where is the botanical garden but begonia house?? hell no..took me half an hour to climb up and down the hill just to find the place. when my watch showed 4 pm, iw as panicked. I ws thinking, damn im gonna be late for my bestfriend's wedding. i was nearly cried but luckily i saw these 3 tourists who happend to be lost as well. But Thank god, the passed the begonia hse, so they know where it is. by the time, i reached the begonia house, the minister was talking abt the marriage life, i was relieved coz the exchanging vows hasnt started yet.
when i looked at her signing the papers, i was actually sheding to tears. I cudnt believe she is getting married and im actually witnessing it.been ther for her ups n downs..thorugh sadness and happiness..was there wen she had on/off relationships..was there when she met damon until the day they got married..im totally happy for her..and i hope her happines till hte end of time..
Night
I went to her reception at nite..by the time i got there, my feet already blister and swollen bcoz of walking up and down the hill using the high-heels. the food was great and we had a bit talked yaddi yadda...her family was there ecept her brothers n mom..they are in msia..they didnt come with the rest of the family..
congratulations..to the bride the groom n to the both families..
Thursday, May 19, 2005
blunt
sometimes people can be too ignorant towards other people's feelings. They do not bother to explicit their words even though they know, the words can be harsh and rude.
whereas some can be too kind not to hurt other's. They tend to think before they act just in case their words will cross other's.
other, just don't bother..they can do whatever they want as long it doesnt gone through the boundaries.
in other words, No One is Perfect
whereas some can be too kind not to hurt other's. They tend to think before they act just in case their words will cross other's.
other, just don't bother..they can do whatever they want as long it doesnt gone through the boundaries.
in other words, No One is Perfect
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Episode 1 : "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"?
===Tree===
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal. I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everythingjust for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have makeher heart cry for 3 years. She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!"before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so. My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers. When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my breakup and she told me about her getting together. I know who's the guy. He had been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of theschool. I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too. During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"?
Episode 2 : "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"?
==== Leaf =====
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt -Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe byusing a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal. I like him & I know he likes me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make thefirst move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. But, If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for afriend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figureout. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right? Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, dote on him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & Ireally want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years. Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay. "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"?
Episode 3 : "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
==== Wind ======
I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there.Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him. One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place,looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left. Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away. It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree. I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Everytime, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly."Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"?
===Tree===
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal. I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everythingjust for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have makeher heart cry for 3 years. She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!"before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so. My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers. When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my breakup and she told me about her getting together. I know who's the guy. He had been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of theschool. I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too. During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"?
Episode 2 : "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"?
==== Leaf =====
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt -Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe byusing a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal. I like him & I know he likes me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make thefirst move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. But, If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for afriend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figureout. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right? Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, dote on him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & Ireally want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years. Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay. "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"?
Episode 3 : "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
==== Wind ======
I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there.Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him. One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place,looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left. Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away. It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree. I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Everytime, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly."Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"?
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
tired-busy-sleepy
what have I done for the past a week? hmm
Sunday-morning i woke up early at 9 am coz i had a volleyball praktis at 9 am (yeah rite)..but i was late..i had to wait for my flatmate to wake up and doing her thing blah blah and we arrived at teh rec center at 10 ish..we had to wait till the court is empty coz everyone was using the court to plap badminton..*sigh* i was practising with few friends who wwere the same boat as me to pplay volleyball..around 11 ish, we had the chance to play volleyball and guess what we played for 4-5 hours straight..damn..i was so damn tired by the time the game finished..we didnt even had a timeout..all we did was changing the court when the game ended..when ir eached home, i was so damn tired..both of my hands were swelling and i can barely moved my arms..i slept till 8 ish coz i was so damn tired..by the time i woke up was already 8ish and i felt so hungry...went to the kitchen to find some food..had a shower and went bck to sleep again untill 11 am in the morning..what the hell of the weekend :-)
Monday- i started work at IHC ( cant remember what it stand for) but it is a place for disablity kids..my work is working with them..takiing care of them and try to make them behave as i can ( i dont want them to misbehave)..some of them are hyperactive, down-sydrome, austhisms and yaddi yaddi yadda..enough of that..more important is i love working with them..they are so cute and charming..on the first day itself, i got a kiss frm one of the kids and he sed he likes me..owh that so sweet..he is charming..he likes to play rugbby with me (which reminded me like my little brother haziq)..i feel so good whenever im around them..sigh wish i can go there eveyday..
Tuesday- went to IHC for work again but this time i met few other kids who didnt come yesterday..they were just the same kids who i met yesterday excfept this one kid who screamed in the middle of the road bcoz my workmate was asking him to come inside the base..he refused to so he screamed..i can hear his voice very clearly coz he screamed so hard..he cant speak nor talk..poor him..but my workmate managed to pursuade him to come inside..good on him :-)
had a long talk with Chip yesterday nite..i havent talked to him for so long..can hardly remember when was the last time i spoke to him :-) we had a long catchup yesteryday..he sed he has been thinking and missing me..(owh how sweet of you, my dear)..thats what bestfriends are for..they never let you aside..they are always for you..they will always think about you even though you havent talked to him for so long..anyway just want to let you know chip, i do miss you a lot too even though i only sed "i miss you" but actually you were always on my mind and i miss you more too and (even though you sed you miss me more)..jz want to let you know that...take care muah2 X
argh..assingment..go to do and have to fnish it tonite..got things to do tomorrow..sigh..so tired..wish can go to bed now :-)
Sunday-morning i woke up early at 9 am coz i had a volleyball praktis at 9 am (yeah rite)..but i was late..i had to wait for my flatmate to wake up and doing her thing blah blah and we arrived at teh rec center at 10 ish..we had to wait till the court is empty coz everyone was using the court to plap badminton..*sigh* i was practising with few friends who wwere the same boat as me to pplay volleyball..around 11 ish, we had the chance to play volleyball and guess what we played for 4-5 hours straight..damn..i was so damn tired by the time the game finished..we didnt even had a timeout..all we did was changing the court when the game ended..when ir eached home, i was so damn tired..both of my hands were swelling and i can barely moved my arms..i slept till 8 ish coz i was so damn tired..by the time i woke up was already 8ish and i felt so hungry...went to the kitchen to find some food..had a shower and went bck to sleep again untill 11 am in the morning..what the hell of the weekend :-)
Monday- i started work at IHC ( cant remember what it stand for) but it is a place for disablity kids..my work is working with them..takiing care of them and try to make them behave as i can ( i dont want them to misbehave)..some of them are hyperactive, down-sydrome, austhisms and yaddi yaddi yadda..enough of that..more important is i love working with them..they are so cute and charming..on the first day itself, i got a kiss frm one of the kids and he sed he likes me..owh that so sweet..he is charming..he likes to play rugbby with me (which reminded me like my little brother haziq)..i feel so good whenever im around them..sigh wish i can go there eveyday..
Tuesday- went to IHC for work again but this time i met few other kids who didnt come yesterday..they were just the same kids who i met yesterday excfept this one kid who screamed in the middle of the road bcoz my workmate was asking him to come inside the base..he refused to so he screamed..i can hear his voice very clearly coz he screamed so hard..he cant speak nor talk..poor him..but my workmate managed to pursuade him to come inside..good on him :-)
had a long talk with Chip yesterday nite..i havent talked to him for so long..can hardly remember when was the last time i spoke to him :-) we had a long catchup yesteryday..he sed he has been thinking and missing me..(owh how sweet of you, my dear)..thats what bestfriends are for..they never let you aside..they are always for you..they will always think about you even though you havent talked to him for so long..anyway just want to let you know chip, i do miss you a lot too even though i only sed "i miss you" but actually you were always on my mind and i miss you more too and (even though you sed you miss me more)..jz want to let you know that...take care muah2 X
argh..assingment..go to do and have to fnish it tonite..got things to do tomorrow..sigh..so tired..wish can go to bed now :-)
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Relaku Pujuk-Spider
i know i am supposed to be studying rite now..its 4 am in the morning and im still awake to finish up my essay but instead i keep on listening to this song "relaku pujuk" by Spider..(one of the Malaysian band)..i dont know why but i just lurrrrrrrrrveeeeeeee this song..i seriously dont know why...i keep on repeating the song..
Relaku Pujuk-Spider
Ku dikejar bayang-bayang resah
Bila hatimu masih tak berubah
Enggan dipunya dan dipenjara
Belaian cintaku ini
Aku bukan lelaki yang tewas
Bisa mengambang walau ku ditolak
Biar diuji kanan dan kiri
Kau kan tetap ku miliki
Tiada lafaz yang lebih agung
Kalimah cintamu
Yang ku tunggu-tunggu
Biar jasadku yang menanggung
Permainan darimu
Relaku pujuk
Janganlah kau salahkan aku
Terus memburu menawan cintamu
Daku percaya sedikit masa
Kau kecundang akhirnya
Usahlah kau bersedih
Dihadapanmu aku hadir
Memadam resah dan curiga dari hatimu
Apakah kali ini
Bisa kau tolak dan berlari
Setelah aku menanamkan azimatku
Biar jasadku yang menanggung
Permainan darimu
Relaku pujuk
Relaku Pujuk-Spider
Ku dikejar bayang-bayang resah
Bila hatimu masih tak berubah
Enggan dipunya dan dipenjara
Belaian cintaku ini
Aku bukan lelaki yang tewas
Bisa mengambang walau ku ditolak
Biar diuji kanan dan kiri
Kau kan tetap ku miliki
Tiada lafaz yang lebih agung
Kalimah cintamu
Yang ku tunggu-tunggu
Biar jasadku yang menanggung
Permainan darimu
Relaku pujuk
Janganlah kau salahkan aku
Terus memburu menawan cintamu
Daku percaya sedikit masa
Kau kecundang akhirnya
Usahlah kau bersedih
Dihadapanmu aku hadir
Memadam resah dan curiga dari hatimu
Apakah kali ini
Bisa kau tolak dan berlari
Setelah aku menanamkan azimatku
Biar jasadku yang menanggung
Permainan darimu
Relaku pujuk
Thursday, May 05, 2005
decisions!! Decisions!!
decisions!!!
hate doing decisionss!! but I somehwo have to do it..have to decide whats the best for me!! arghhhhhhhhhh bencinya..why is it to make good decisions have to involve emotions and heart??why cant it only involves pyshical..why why?????
hate doing decisionss!! but I somehwo have to do it..have to decide whats the best for me!! arghhhhhhhhhh bencinya..why is it to make good decisions have to involve emotions and heart??why cant it only involves pyshical..why why?????
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
im too lazy to do my work
have been staringg infront of the pc for quite a while but havent started a single sentence expect changing the fonts and the paragraph..i am so damn lazy
the weather has been so crap for the past 2 days..the sun hasnt come out since monday and i am too damn sleepy and pathetically praying for the sun to come out..cant stand living in this kinda weather..feel so unhealthy at all..
currently so damn homesick..i wan to go home so badly..feel like want to run away from this sanctuary of depression..i cannot stand being depress and stress anymore..tired of feeling like this..i wish i cud feel happy and better..the only can make me happy is when i am able to do what i want and what i feel like doing but instead i have to please people not knowing they are dont even bother about my existance..hmm wonder why?
ok ok stop talking about that..making me more depress and stress..lets change the topic..what shud i write about my essay??well its not an essay btw is just a summary of text and movie (note: i have to do 2 summaries..) well its not that hard actually..i have to summary the movie i have watched before (the last samurai). is not that hard..i know what the movie is about but my mind has been closed for the past couple of days..
i have been drinking coffee more thatn i should have..yesterday nite i drank 5 cups of coffee and i even hunger for more..what are the ingredients inside the coffee actually that makes people can be so damn high?????!! you tell me!!!?? i dont know and i dont care but i love'em..so much..if only my house is build inside the coffee beans..i wud love to drink it all day..just coffeee..!!
ok betta stop..start to talk bullshit oredi..im still high..i bet i cant even remember what i just wrote..same happend to my fren the other..wrote her a testimonial but i cant remembered what i wrote until i read it again after i was sober..damn so embarrased..so mind me..im high..
--blurrrrr--
have been staringg infront of the pc for quite a while but havent started a single sentence expect changing the fonts and the paragraph..i am so damn lazy
the weather has been so crap for the past 2 days..the sun hasnt come out since monday and i am too damn sleepy and pathetically praying for the sun to come out..cant stand living in this kinda weather..feel so unhealthy at all..
currently so damn homesick..i wan to go home so badly..feel like want to run away from this sanctuary of depression..i cannot stand being depress and stress anymore..tired of feeling like this..i wish i cud feel happy and better..the only can make me happy is when i am able to do what i want and what i feel like doing but instead i have to please people not knowing they are dont even bother about my existance..hmm wonder why?
ok ok stop talking about that..making me more depress and stress..lets change the topic..what shud i write about my essay??well its not an essay btw is just a summary of text and movie (note: i have to do 2 summaries..) well its not that hard actually..i have to summary the movie i have watched before (the last samurai). is not that hard..i know what the movie is about but my mind has been closed for the past couple of days..
i have been drinking coffee more thatn i should have..yesterday nite i drank 5 cups of coffee and i even hunger for more..what are the ingredients inside the coffee actually that makes people can be so damn high?????!! you tell me!!!?? i dont know and i dont care but i love'em..so much..if only my house is build inside the coffee beans..i wud love to drink it all day..just coffeee..!!
ok betta stop..start to talk bullshit oredi..im still high..i bet i cant even remember what i just wrote..same happend to my fren the other..wrote her a testimonial but i cant remembered what i wrote until i read it again after i was sober..damn so embarrased..so mind me..im high..
--blurrrrr--
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
things are better left unsaid
....oooO..............
.....(....)...Oooo...
......)../.....(....)....
.....(_/.......)../.....
...............(_/.......
....oooO..............
.....(....)...Oooo...
......)../.....(....)....
.....(_/.......)../.....
...............(_/.......
"Some people came into our lives and
leave footprints on our hearts and we
are never ever the same...."
I want to cry but there is no more tears in my eyes
I want to give but things are hard to achieve
I want to leave but things are better to keep
I want to hide but everything seem to be a fight
I want to reach but it seems everything so hard to fit
.....(....)...Oooo...
......)../.....(....)....
.....(_/.......)../.....
...............(_/.......
....oooO..............
.....(....)...Oooo...
......)../.....(....)....
.....(_/.......)../.....
...............(_/.......
"Some people came into our lives and
leave footprints on our hearts and we
are never ever the same...."
I want to cry but there is no more tears in my eyes
I want to give but things are hard to achieve
I want to leave but things are better to keep
I want to hide but everything seem to be a fight
I want to reach but it seems everything so hard to fit
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Joy Enriquez - How Can I Not Love You
Cannot touch, cannot hold, cannot be together
Cannot love, cannot kiss, cannot love each other
Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know
Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
Cannot dream, cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel, must pretend it?s over
Must be brave and we must go on, must not say
What we?ve known all along
Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you
Bridge:
Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we?ve known all along
Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you
When you are gone
Cannot love, cannot kiss, cannot love each other
Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know
Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
Cannot dream, cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel, must pretend it?s over
Must be brave and we must go on, must not say
What we?ve known all along
Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you
Bridge:
Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we?ve known all along
Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you
When you are gone
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