regretting

there are certain things that when you do, you can't undo..you have to accept the facts even though it hurts you. All you can do is that, accept the things even though you have apologize and apologize..gilizion times..what have been said cannot be undo..

sometimes you have to accept things the way it is..no matter how hard you try to change or reverse it. the mistakes you have made or done cannot be reversed or forgiven. That's what I feel for the past couple of days. I have done a terrible things that I cannot even forgive myself. :( no matter how many times I have apologize. All I can do is to accept the mistakes and just go with the flow.

I am accepting the fact that I have done a really bad things and I feel so embarassed to myself. I am not kids or teenager anymore. i am adult and suprisingly i am still doing things that adult won't do. I am behaving like a 15 years old girl and what was that? I am not a teenager anymore. I should've behaved like a 24 years old adult. I am still sad about what happened and I couldn't even forgive myself for that. I know I lied and I am sorry. I am terribly sorry. There is no words can express how crush you are at the moment and how regretful I am. My mistakes cannot be undo and cannot be forgiven. All I can do at the moment is to learn from my mistakes. Mistakes that I hope I won't do in near future anymore.

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A good friend of mine jz had a really terrible break-ups with her bf. When I heard her stories, suddenly my own history rewinded in my mind. I cannot believe the similiarity of the story is happening again. I mean i totally understand what's she going through. Being dumped and broke-hearted is totally not the best thing to end a relationship. Why guys are being jerks? why can't they understand a women's heart? why is it so hard to understand a guy? why are they being so hipokrit and pathetic. when they want you, they will come to you, begging and have that sweet-talk. But when they do not want you, they ignore you and dump you like you are worthless to them. urghhh!! please, dont they know the word "appreciate?" why is it so hard to say "thank you for doing this to me?" WHY? I just don't understand guys..so unpredictable