nice weather..ape lagi lepak ar..some more pixxs go to ikeafnifa.fotopages.com 

Some say I am nice and they like to hang out with me. Others say I am too nice and they warned people not to hang out with me. how do you feel if people do this to you? where never in your mind you have the thought of doing anything like that to other people??

Maybe some people think i am being nice just to gain some benefits from them..eh hello lar..tk ada masa nk buat mcmtu..i got other stuff to do..c'mon lar..i dnt that to live..i need sincere and honesty to live in this world..if certain people do not have that then how are they going to face the world..rite??

i dont need to impress people or treat them nicely bcoz thats not what i shud do.have had enuff impressing people til i got hurt inside..i dont want to get hurt anymore..tired of running away or getting hurt..i am jst going to do not bother what people say abt me bcause i take it as they do not know the real me..they also dont bother to hang ot with me..then why shud i bother?

When guys around me, they have the impression that I like them whereas I dont give a fuck what they are doing. When I being extra caring, they think I like them on the other hand, I am just being me and I am not pretending to impress them. let me get this straight..I dont just like a guy when i see them ok..i am not that tasteless amongst guys..eh hello..i am jst being me..i am just being myself..i dont need a guy to be nice..i am just me..if you dont like it then fuck it..i dont need people to ruin my life..guys will always be guys no matter what. how do you feel if you were in my shoes? how do you feel if you are being labelled like this? will you run away or stay knowing that you have been labelled like that? i wud stay in the middle..not running away or stay..because why should I? why should i go away just because you have heard somethng that mite not tru?

people have different perceptions towards..i dont care what people think of me..i dont give a fuck what they think..i am enjoying my life to the fullest..i love hang out and having fun..if they cant hv fun then thats not my problem..normally i just take it as ..if you cant hav fun then dont bother abt other people's life because thats your problem..go figure..

my aim is just dont bother..

weekend finally..

Yey it's weekend..the most waited days of the week...but bugge..i've got plenty of work to do so no yey! for me at least..

it's been ages since I updated my blog..(sorry papa) been busy sorting out my work..classes tutorials and work..

went to a friend's house last nite to watch this Thai-horror movie..f**k man..it was so damn scary..the movie about a girl who doesnt wan to let go her loved ones even though she's dead. the scariest part was she has been clingy at her bf's shoulder all this while..her bf felt the pain on the neck..i watched it with my friends..even the guys were scremed at it..coz it was sooo damn shcking and scary..i was hiding myself behind the pillow and the rest were under the blanket..everytime the ghost came out, we screamed together..arghh..damn horror movies..never watched the horror movie alone man..

was thinking to go to Auckland but nah...stay @ Wellington...better..besides I am saving up to buy a laptop..really desperate for it..really need it to do my work..tired of going to a friend's plc to do my work..

My flatmates 

My eyesbrow 

Im feeling so sleepy and tired today as I had netball tournamen this morning..Man I havent played the gam ever since i got my little finger twisted :-) I nearly forgot about the rules ever since I stopped touching the ball..but it was a good game..it was a tournament btwn WMSO's members..just a fun game..

I have been craving Chicken rice since last week..I dun knw why..y flatmates and friends have been shaking their heads whenever I said "hey, I rasa nak makan nasi ayam lar".. and they will be saying "You and your nasi ayam.." I seriously don't know what's got into me :-)

Sunny, Hot, health day...gud for your body..need to go and sleep now..

Too much

I have been feeling so hopeless for the past couple of days. Every little things I do, I felt so tired of it. I was supposed to complete my tutorial homework but instead I end up mingling around a friend's house. The whole idea to stay at a friend's house was to study together2 but instead we ended laughing and talking nonsense. Arghh now I have to catch up with the tutorial homework..(malu je if not siap). Hehe...pemalas..(that's what I always been referred to..and its true).

hmm..what have I done so far for the past couple of days? oh yeah..i have been reading this good book about a lost kid..hmm kinda good but kinda sad tho'. It's about the missing kid who happens to be dissapeared for about 10 years and the parents still looking for it.I don't know whether it was based on the true story or not but the storyline was quite touching tho'

Oh yeah..there has been so many shits happening arnd Wgtn(amongst my friends of course)..fightings, broken-hearted yaddi yaddi yadda..so scary.. I am trying not to get closed to any of this thing coz I afraid I might end up losing someone..hehehe..well it's not my thingy rite? :-)

The other day I went to Ninie's Blog and she wrote about me under the "girlfriends in my life". i t was so sad when I went thru it. She wrote the nicest things about me..and no one ever wrote like that about me liek the way she did it..I shed to tears when I went tru it..thank you so much for the comments..I never knew I am that kinda person.. I always see myself as clumsy, moody, selfish and unreliable..hehehe..well I guess now I know what kinda person I really am :-)

okies..betta get back to do my tutorial homework..got tutorial in less than hour..should really finish it aye..heheheh..muah2 X

The sky it was gold, it was rose, I was taking sips of it through my nose, And I wish I could get back there, Some place back there, Smiling in the pictures you would take, Doing crystal myth, Will lift you up until you break, It won't stop, I won't come down, I keep stock, With a tick tock rhythm and a bump for the drop, And then I bumped up. I took the hit I was given, Then I bumped again, And then I bumped again.

regretting

there are certain things that when you do, you can't undo..you have to accept the facts even though it hurts you. All you can do is that, accept the things even though you have apologize and apologize..gilizion times..what have been said cannot be undo..

sometimes you have to accept things the way it is..no matter how hard you try to change or reverse it. the mistakes you have made or done cannot be reversed or forgiven. That's what I feel for the past couple of days. I have done a terrible things that I cannot even forgive myself. :( no matter how many times I have apologize. All I can do is to accept the mistakes and just go with the flow.

I am accepting the fact that I have done a really bad things and I feel so embarassed to myself. I am not kids or teenager anymore. i am adult and suprisingly i am still doing things that adult won't do. I am behaving like a 15 years old girl and what was that? I am not a teenager anymore. I should've behaved like a 24 years old adult. I am still sad about what happened and I couldn't even forgive myself for that. I know I lied and I am sorry. I am terribly sorry. There is no words can express how crush you are at the moment and how regretful I am. My mistakes cannot be undo and cannot be forgiven. All I can do at the moment is to learn from my mistakes. Mistakes that I hope I won't do in near future anymore.

--------

A good friend of mine jz had a really terrible break-ups with her bf. When I heard her stories, suddenly my own history rewinded in my mind. I cannot believe the similiarity of the story is happening again. I mean i totally understand what's she going through. Being dumped and broke-hearted is totally not the best thing to end a relationship. Why guys are being jerks? why can't they understand a women's heart? why is it so hard to understand a guy? why are they being so hipokrit and pathetic. when they want you, they will come to you, begging and have that sweet-talk. But when they do not want you, they ignore you and dump you like you are worthless to them. urghhh!! please, dont they know the word "appreciate?" why is it so hard to say "thank you for doing this to me?" WHY? I just don't understand guys..so unpredictable

wonder

jave you ever wonder if you do something that people never tought you would you but you do it anyway and they never looked at you the same way again? I have been feeling that for the couple of days since I got my right eyebrows pierecd. Been having different cmments from friends :-) Oh well I never really care about what people say..take it like this, people can say what they want or do what they want..just dont be bothered about what they say. You rule your own life not them.They can give opinions about you but at the end, you are the one who will be the judge..right? Yes Yes

Yes it's officially I pierced my right eyebrows.

Uni starting next week and can't wait to go back to class (it's show that I am officially bored of holidays)

sick n tired

Don't you just hate being sick? Who doesnt? Dman these viruses..Guess weather keep on changing from hot to cold to misty to cold again.. Sux man..arghh..hate being sick..wgtn has been raining for the past couple of days now..

Oh yeah Malaysia Prime Minister; Dato' Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi came to New Zealand yesterday and had the chance to meet him in person. I got the shake hand with him and he is so charming. He is indeed very nice and soft-spoken.

Not in the mood the write more..I guess I am very tired and sick..

p/s: new photos have been uploaded..check it out at my fotopages.