Baboo

that time of the month again~

2010-02-28T16:57:00.002+13:00

Irts the time of the month again..update time...

i have been so lazy honestly to update my blog. Is not like I am not like I am hardly on the internet, I am on the net 24/7 even on my cell, so there is really no excuse for me not to update it. Heheh

Anyway I will let you know what have been happening in my life.

My bf Josh has proposed a marriage to me. He rang my parents for their hand in marriage and he proposed a marriage to me on my birthday. So I am officially engaged. *Its a western thing where when a guy asked you to marry him, you are automatically engaged*

So here I am soon to be Mrs Boeyen (OMG) never thought of that yet..anyway I am so pleased that our relationship is going forward as we have planned.

Josh's mom came to Wellington last week for a visit. She is a very nice lady. We had a great time together. Good Laughs and great food~

hmm whatelse? well I am planning to go home for my brother engagement which will take place in November..hopefully~

cant wait..ok I am lazy to write now..hehehhe

Raya memories

2009-11-14T18:23:00.002+13:00

On a lazy saturday afternoon, besides relaxing and eating, whatelse can you do? I am so bloody lazy~ after early morning gym, lunch and coffee~hmmmmm

Ok ok I've been told to upload some photos from my holiday trip. Haven't been raya at home for (god knows how long) and had some fun!! went home with the bf of mine (omg~ cant believe i am saying this)

So here goes~ Enjoy

"the guards of putrajaya"

Terengganu~

My late granfather's house

Waffles~ hmm A& W

Aquamarine in KLCC

PetroSains, The Hurricane tube. The wind is just like Wellington ( perhaps Wellington worse)

Coffee time for me (and ciggies for my brother)

DinoTrack. Like this picture. Looks like the dino was going to eat me and Josh ( i bet the dino will be full as I have too damn much fat!)

Didera, dirogol, diliwat..(Kesiannye-what a story of life)

2009-10-21T15:12:00.003+13:00

I was reading the Harian Metro today and OMG, what a news! Poor the kid~ She was abused by her mother's bf and her mother! Her own bloody mother. How could you possibly do that to your kid? ANd you knew your bf has been abused her sexually and physically but instead of protecting her, you dig in with your bf! And told the police she was killed by your maid and you know you dont have a maid but telling such lies? That is appalling. Can't believe that! I cant believe my eyes~cant believe what I was reading~ http://www.hmetro.com.my/Wednesday/BeritaUtama/20091021080101/Article

Happy Birthday Papa

2009-10-14T22:33:00.000+13:00

Selamat hari jadi papaku. Semoga di panjangkan umur dan di murahkan rezeki. Insyallah. Sorry I couldnt be there on your birthday but my thoughts are with you always. Hope you had a good day on your birthday. I love you and thank you for all the love and support you have given me. I will always treasure that and keep it in my heart. Love you and you are the best father in the world.

Stressnye!!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-12T16:34:00.002+13:00

Arghh...what a day! So stressful!

How can you be employed when you can't even paid attention on every details I have said? Jeez man! I am not the kinda person to tell you what to do when you know what do you need to do? Even so is it hard to say "do you need any help, Ike?" arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! so stressful!

Far too long

2009-10-08T23:46:00.001+13:00

Its a been a year since I have updated my blog. I miss writing but I just dont have the time.

There's been quite lots of things happenings since then..*sigh* do I have to write it? Maybe :)

I am still working at the same place since my last post. And yeah there's always prons and cons of working. Well its just a job and I get pay, can't complain :)

Finally after 5 years, I went home (to Malaysia) and I forgot how much I have missed Malaysia. It's diffrent than the last time I've been home. Can't believed how much it has changed since!

Anyway I managed to catch up with my family members, wow can't believed how much they have grown. Last time I remember some of them were still in nappies! xox

I am so relieved that my father likes Josh (the guy I am still dating) because I am afraid he won't approved him. My father can be picky when it comes to guys. I guess every father like that especially since I am his only daughter but alhamduliah, he approves him! Syukur

To be honest I am running out of ideas to write at the moment but oh wait! today headlines! Earthquakes in Vanuatu. See..I am not running out of ideas to write. I am never running out of ideas (thats what Josh told me). As you know, Vanuatu was hit by earthquakes three times today. " The first Vanuatu earthquake had a magnitude of 7.8. The second Vanuatu earthquake registered at 7.7. The last earthquake hit 7.8. As a result, a Tsunami warning was issued to all surrounding areas", source-http://www.xomba.com/vanuatu_islands_earthquake_2009_recent_massive_quakes.
and because of that New Zealand has been warning of Tsunami may arrive.

Therefore I have been receiving emails from Emergency department, news, text messaging regarding the Tsunami hits. I have also messaging, emailing and phoning friends and family to let them know what is going on. I have been worried but alhamdulilah setakat ni tak ada apa-apa until I came home and read about the FIRST WAVES ARRIVE IN NEW ZEALAND..alamak dah sampai pulak. Read http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/6185059/first-waves-arrive-in-nz/

The weather has been crap since I came back from Malaysia. Raining, cold, windy non-stop. Today was so cold and horrible. Honestly it feels like winter. I thought I have packed all my winter stuff into the cupboard, but now I have to take it out again! Where is SPRING SEASON? Its supposed to be a spring season but feels more like winter these days! I have been eating lots and pickish! Its like I am never full even though I have a full decent meal!

Its getting late now and I have to tuck myself in. I have been waking up late these days to work. Bangun ngam2 je waktu kerja. Luckily school holidays, so the traffic isn't so bad. I managed to arrive to work on time. But next week is back to school and hopefully weather will be nice, so that I can walk to/from work.

Today (08/10/09), I would like to wish my darling brother, AFZUL a "happy birthday" and may ALLAH blessed you with a peaceful and joyful life. I love you and may you always succeed in your studies and get what you wish you for.

New Job

2008-12-30T15:54:00.002+13:00

I have a job!!!!!!!
I've got offer from my previous employer!
ANyway I have started today..( I am writing this blog from work) heheheh
Ha..first day! Interesting..Catching up with people today. Spent 1/2 day talking to people..catching up..it was awesome!!So yeah I am back at the hospital (wellington)-blood and cancer centre..but different department.!

Old school

2008-12-22T23:51:00.003+13:00

Funny..I came across an old school video ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO1b4QjYijo ). The dance was done by fellow Malaysian students (I knew some of them)..but half of them already gone home.
It was really funny considering I used to dance that dance and I kinda laugh about it now. Now old memories have came back slowly..the late nights, the get together practising dance and how some of us ended up at the Lab doing our assignments after practice-sometimes it ends at 11 pm!!

But those were good times..funny when you are in Uni, you end up joining all the activities ( even though you don't really want to ) once you sign up with the Students Organisation. I remember in my times when I joined the activities (dancing, mostly) and I had to participate and committed to the group. All those late nights-staying in the lab- doing my assignments until 3-4 am and walked back to my apartment. with my PJ's (sometimes) and had to wake up early again to go to cl assess..I mean its tiring but I get to socialise with our students and sometimes when you are in overseas, friends become your family.

Ask my other friends, they will agree when I say friends become you family. You get close with each other. Basically you help each other and keep contact no matter what. I remember going to my friend's place in 2 AM walking down the road in cold-blizzard-windy winter-walking up the hill to my friends' place just to hang out ( missing home and want some TLC) and she made you a nice cup of hot chocolate and it did make me feel better after that. Sometime when you are alone, you just want to be with somebody even its 2 AM in the morning.

Good old memories..aye..wouldnt want to trade it with anythingelse

back to square one..again

2008-12-18T22:06:00.003+13:00

I am back to square one again..why? because last year the same thing happend ( wait...hang on..it didnt happen until January..anyway..its still the same)
I am currently unemployed..want to know why? because I followed my heart not my brain! I was working at Hospital (A) for about 8 months until I decided to find a new job (well more like want to try new things). I applied at this one place (B) and got accepted (yeah of course I have to go through Interview, reference blah blah)..anyways I went to place B and end up leaving after 2 weeks of battles with my own feelings!! I hate it..I wasnt what I thought it would be..Well Okay I dont hate the place but its just wasnt for me I guess..

So now I am unemployed..so damn stressful you know..finding jobs..what I want..but I guess thats the consequence of my actions that I have to take. I dont know what I want..until I have to try it I guess. I'll just take it like this is my holiday..a very nice holiday without a pay every forthnight.

And one thing that I have realised..my spellings are getting worse and worse..including my tense and grammar...arghhhhhhh what is wrong with me??! My boyfriend beat me at scrabble and I couldnt believe it.I usually beat him but know the other way around??that shows how bad my grammar has been..might be errors in this context. So mind me ;p

I have not been writing for a while and I feel so wrong about it. I have been busy. ( well I was) jugling with work, social life and blah blah ( I am just finding an excuse not to write anymore) . I used to love writing. Its the only things that kee p me sane. I get to express my emotions in paper..I know how weird is that? Well too bad..I love it..if you hate it..just put up with it.

Gosh

2008-10-07T09:10:00.002+13:00

Gosh

Its been more than half a year since I have updated my Blog..poor blog..lots of things been happening since then

January: lost my job, no work permit-applied for new ones. got it at the end of january, got my job back but have been applying for new jobs

February: my birthday, got lots of interviews, got a job offer and left old job.

March: started full-time position at wellington blood & cancer centre,w ellington hospital

April: working full-time

May: 1 year anniversary-josh took me out to this very superb restaurant-ate like a pig..sampai pengsan!

June: mama's bday..nothing much

July: christy's bday..took her out..went out with her..until she was drunk...good for her

August: got wrok permit& visa for 2 years! yeay!

september: puasa, sick,

october: raya!!still working lah now.......i am at work now..cut my hair..yeay!
finally!

so basically my life is damn boring.......
nothing is special :))

got to go to work tuesday always busy busy...(i can hear

worst..bored..yuck!

2008-01-22T01:21:00.000+13:00

i'm absolutely bored...got nothing to do..so please help me

umbrella

2008-01-18T21:06:00.000+13:00

Mandy Moore - Umbrella lyrics

You had my heart
And we'll never be worlds apart
Maybe in magazines
But you'll still be my star
Baby cause in the Dark
You can see shiny Cars
That's when you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because...

When the sun shines
We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Told you we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella eh eh)

These fancy things,
Will never come in between
You're my entity
Here for Infinity
When the war has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards
If the hand is hard
Together we'll mend your heart
Because...

When the sun shines
We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Told you we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella

You can stand under my Umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella

You can run into my Arms
That's okay don't be alarmed
(Come into Me)
(There's no distance in between our love)
Gonna let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more ooohh
Because...

When the sun shines
We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Told you we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)

It's raining
Ooo baby it's raining (raining)
Baby come into me
Come into me
It's raining
Ooo baby it's raining
Come into me
Come into me



Song lyrics  Umbrella lyrics

facebook

2007-11-20T21:12:00.000+13:00

JOB LOOKING-STRESSFUL

2007-10-24T23:08:00.000+13:00

Job looking-why is it stressfull?

a. you dont get the job straight away

b. you have to go through rejections (and thats the hardest part to accept-even though you think yoo are qualify for the position)

c.you have to work hard to get the job you want

d.you have to beat other applicants( even though sometimes it amongs your workmates or friends)

e.you have to sell your skills-not just your qualifications and experiences too!!

f.why cant i just get the job i apply! urgh! hard and unfair!!

raya pics

2007-10-24T21:45:00.000+13:00

tiffany & Co

2007-10-24T21:35:00.000+13:00

What I Love About You

2007-10-24T00:42:00.000+13:00

I love the way you look at me,
Your eyes so bright and blue.
I love the way you kiss me,
Your lips so soft and smooth.

I love the way you make me so happy,
And the ways you show you care.
I love the way you say, "I Love You,"
And the way you're always there.

I love the way you touch me,
Always sending chills down my spine.
I love that you are with me,
And glad that you are mine.

- Crystal Jansen -

Raya Time!

2007-10-10T21:11:00.001+13:00

Raya! Selamat hari raya...kepada saudara serta saudari..( i cant remember the rest of the song!) everytime the raya comes, it will be more joyful to the kids than adults! Don't you agree? Kids get money and we adult(even teenager dont get the privilage anymore)

anyway raya is not about money but its about get together with family! thats more importan..sadly to say that yes raya this year will again will be in wellington! oh well sadly to say but life goes on aye? you reckon?

what am i goin to cook? i am goin to make rendang, kuah kacang and nasi impit.no kuih raya or anything.. i dont actually look forward to it except the ketupat and kuah kacang and rendang (beef) hm yummy food! i invited few close friends to come over..thats ok eh..

well then! selamat hari raya and maaf zahir dan batin@ muahs~xox

2007-10-10T21:11:00.000+13:00

8/8/07

2007-10-10T21:05:00.000+13:00

Afzul's Birthday

9/9

2007-10-09T22:23:00.000+13:00

A nice day out with my baby. Went to warehouse on Lyall bay. It wa on the 2nd september. Was a nice day and we decided to walk around the beach and stop by at the warehosue Lyall Bay. Had yummy coffee and nice day..what more can you asked for?

we in heaven

2007-08-03T13:58:00.000+12:00

Oh, thinking about all our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free
Now nothing can take you away from me
We've been down that road before
But that's over now
You keep me coming back for more
Baby, you're all that I want
When you're lying here in my arms,
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in heavenAnd love is all that I need,
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to seeWe're in heaven
Oh, once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world aroundPick you up when your feeling down
Now nothing could change what you mean to me
There's a lot that I could sayBut just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way
Baby you're all that I want
When you're lying here in my arms,
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need,
And I found it there in your heartIt isn't too hard to see
We're in heavenI've been waiting for so long
For something to arrive
For love to come along
Now our dreams are coming trueT
hrough the good times and the badI'll be standing there by you
Baby you're all that I want
When you're lying here in my arms
Im finding it hard to believe
We're in heavenAnd love is all that I need,
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

y

2007-01-16T23:07:00.000+13:00

y breaking up is hard and y cant the pain just go away??? i hate being in this miserable feelings still and i hate waking up feeling useless and my food dont taste the way it used to be. i felt like going on back to the circle where i was and it seems like never ended!! Ya allah...i need to move on from this misery. i need my life back...

~hmm`

2006-11-23T22:48:00.000+13:00

leaf's departure is because of wind's pursuit or because tree didnt ask her to stay?

i hate it.

2006-11-23T22:08:00.000+13:00

i hate the pain im having right now. i hate where things will not be the same. i hate thinking about him everyday n night. i hate things dont go my way. i hate tears coming out from my eyes everytime i wake up and before i go to sleep. i hate this miserable feelings. i hate everything just not going to be the same. i hate i cant hold him anymore. i hate to see the tears in his eyes. i hate my life right now. i hate pretty much things that around me right now. hate it hate it hate it. more importantly i hate the way i dont hate him. the fact that i still love and miss him, always...

pain pain go away

2006-11-22T22:29:00.000+13:00

this week has been the cruelliest week ever.my heart is so broken. im so guttered. i hate breaking up. i hate goodbyes. i hate everything with the word "end". i hate it. i hate it so much. things wll never be the same you know. even though you said, yes it will bethe same. no its not. its different. it will be different forever. i cant bear pain on my shoulder. i hate it. i hate everything rite now.

march 24th 2006-november 17th 2006

2006-11-22T22:10:00.000+13:00

memory

Promise me

2006-11-22T22:07:00.000+13:00

Masihkah kau mengerti lagi
Yang kasihku tetap berdiri sepi
bersinar dinurani
berlingar di selubuk hati

Walau ku pernah jangkakan
yang kita tak mungkin abadi
hatiku berlinang
teringatkan janji bersemi

ku perlukan hidupku
kau perlukan teruskan hidupmu

bahagialah selalu

janji lah padaku yang kau ceria selalu
janjilah untuk ku
---------------------------------------------

I hope you still understand
that my love still standing quietly
still shining in my soul
still moving in my heart

Even though I know we will never be forever
My heart cry thinking the promises we make

I need my life
You need to go on with your life

Be happy always

Promise to me you will be happy always
Promise to me

ketcha.com.my

2006-08-09T13:44:00.000+12:00

penat, stress sume ada skang......arghhhh bencikk...essay due satu besok, satu monday next week and test on friday then yeahaaaa cuti seminggu..nak wat ape eh cuti seminggu? tidooooo lah ape lagi..hik hik hik..

weather has been crap.. rainning, drizzless, haily..end up sume orgg sakit this winter...smalam the wind omigosh..sejuk giler cam dlm airbatu..so damn freaking cold man..felt like didnt want to go out at all (but had to go anyways..)

hmmm what shud i do today> essay..need another 1000+ words to finish (and that includes conculusion, reference and introduction). Felt funny to myself..i started writing essay w/out introduction...understood the question but cant start writing about the introduction...heheheheh...oh well...at least the main points are there...so no kisah lar!

nak mee goreng mamak.......

2006-08-08T00:17:00.000+12:00

omiggosh..so hard when you craving for the things u cannot get e.g nasi lemak at mamak stall an also mee goreng mamak..wah so sedap..so hard you live in overseas but theres no such as mamak stall here excpt burger king and mcdonald and fish and chips..bosan lah..dun want to eat that..sick of it..fast food all the times..so hardddddd

been going back to skol..so susahlah...my brain is full of infomation..being crowded....too much loading..keep loading blah blah..im talkiing crap now..time for bed..got discussion and work tomoro..(work> bosanlah)

2006-03-18T00:41:00.000+13:00

This is such a sweet song to listen. It has the sweetest lyrics i have ever listened to.

Wondering the streets, in a world underneath it all
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet
As what I can't have
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair
round your finger
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you
What I feel about you.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
and cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will

Forgive me if I stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
Do I seem familiar, i've crossed you in hallways
a thousand times, no more camouflage
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you

If I could dim the lights in the mall
And create a mood I would
Shout out your name so it echos in every room
I would

That's what I'd do, That's what I'd do to get through to you

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will

life is full of suprises

2006-03-17T03:09:00.000+13:00

i have not been updating my blog for nearly 2 months now. most of the peoples who have been accessing my blog have been complaining about it. well here goes..

since i got back from malaysia on the 7th of january 2006, ive countinued working at my workplace. apparently got homesick and also flu and fever due to the change of weather. but because i only took leave until the 7 th, i had to go back the next day on the 8th with having flu and fever. It was good to see all the familiar faces again. Hemi; the boy i have been looking after came and see at work. I managed to catch up with him even though i feel disguisted to myself. BUt i felt teribbly bad after he left because he left with feeling angry and dissapointed because i was pushing him away as he was being nice to me and trying to make me laughing and being his usual self. but because i felt horribly disguisted, i pushed him away. But i managed to talk to him when i saw him agian the next day. To explain to him that i was happy to see him. I wasnt angry at him. But because he cant accept rejection and disspoinment( he has been letting down in his life, he feels all the bad things that happens is because of him).

So my life has been good and as usual, things have been ups and downs and stuff but i managed to control the problems that ive been having. everything you experience tend to make u stronger,aight? shit happens mostly at work place; hemi got into trouble, staffs being shitty and management change drastically. I was nearly going to hand in my resigning letter but because i still care about the place, i ended up to stay. One because of hemi(yes he is such a special boy with lots of great skils), second the kids and most important i love the place a lot. i put my heart into the place. Kemp st has been like my second home. i spend most of my time there than my home.

uni just started in end of feb. things grat..back to school. assigments and tests. well usual stuff nothing change. still the same old things where you have to do research and paperwork. the paper i am taking at the moments is about advocacy about young children which is really interesting.

i have moved house in end of feb. finally i got a proper place to live. ive been living at rachel's hse for a month or so til i get my proper place. i still love my old place but im falling in love with my new place. everything is just so cosy and just nice. i dont need a big house or a lavish stuff to have but as long as i have everything that i need is there, then its enough for me.

so basically thats the sum up of my life at the moment. I still have new things to do everyday e.g to sass out Hemi's stuff, uni, holiday programme and yeah my own life. I still cant see which path should i follow as i cant see what i will be doing in the future. life is such a full pf suprises! you got to have present everyday! you never know what present you will get until you open the package. so yeah just enjoy the package til then!

totally wicked!!

2006-01-25T18:32:00.000+13:00

I have discovered that i still have the pictures from the old days on the internet. that is so wicked as when i went home this yr i was trying to copy some of the old days photos and turned out my harddisk on my pc has been reformat due to unstable window.DAMN! i was sad but just as i was about to give up, the suprise came up and yeay! i have found my fav photos. whoo! totaly wicked!

morality bites ....again?

2006-01-17T12:39:00.000+13:00

i have been thinking lately that what if i didnt finish my studies..then who will i be? can i afford to buy things like now or i end up being poor and cant afford anything? ive been doing a lot of thinkin lately that i have spent lots and lots of money on unnecessary things. I cannot imagine how many times have my parents put up on me just to raise a selfish kid like me. I have been asking lots of unecessary things and they wud say yes even though they hesistant on me.

i feel absolutely lonely since i got back.i still have friends but i do not know what i am feeling missing about. i am still figuring it out and have been actually. Been figuring what i am missing about but i still have no clue :)

oh i havent written down what are the newyear resolutions. I made a list that i wont be dating anyone this year and concerntrate on what things i havent actually done yet. But then i got a date from a collegue few days ago. I was thinking to go but i changed my mind because he was being a pusher. I told him i didnt want to go but he ended up pushing me. So i decided not to go.

Things have changed since i got back to wellington. I have spend more time at home and didnt feel like clubbing or shop around. i have been a homely type and i really enjoy it. which is gud considering i never actually a home-staying-type.

2006-01-14T17:31:00.000+13:00

Finally I have arrived safely in Wellington on the 6th Jan 06. Sorry for the late update as I was sick for a couple and days and went straight back to work. I am feeling better now but still got some few work to finish. uNI starts in february and i havent enrolled. I will have to do it asap or else i will be left out. What else is new?nothing much as wellington is sunny and summer is great. but i am still in malaysia mode and still craving for the nice local food. missing that a lot lately.

well i am back to work and its been pretty hectic,have to catch up with few things and nothing major hiccups happen which is good considering the management has changed and it sucks. currently i am staying in newtown at rachel's and i kinda like it here. its accessible and near to work place to. only takes 10 minutes walk and its a major exercise for me at the moment.

newya nothingelse to jot down. hope its not too late to wish selamat hari raya aidiladha. hugz

true friends stay forever

2005-12-20T22:51:00.000+13:00

morality bites doesnt it?

why does morality bites?because you are actually living in the real world where life sucks and shit happens. only people who truly trust you will stay forever ini your heart.

Some people only befriending w you bcoz they have their reasons. Either to let loose their stupid problems that have been burden their shoulder or they truly admire your friendship qualities. In my case, ive been friending w both, where some stick w me whereas some stick w me when they have problems. Am i really a place when ppl can throw all their shitty stuffs to me and when they are over w it, they are over w me too?

I am actually piss w some of my friends who treat me like a shit. I dont/never treat them like a shit unless they are a shit to me. If they are so, then goodbye to our friendship. But why some ppl still have the courage to do so? can their think abt other's ppl feelings? cnt they just say "hi" even tho we hardly seen each other?why is it so hard to do so? where are the promises that say "we shud hang out when you are back", But where is the "hang out"?except making excuses "i cant make it, m too bz yaddi yadda". If it's for the first few times then its fine but dont be such a bitch when i tried to ring. That is just so useless. I know you are bz w ur life but dont make promises if you cant keep it. Simple as that!!

Right here..waiting

2005-12-19T04:49:00.001+13:00

morality does bites isnt it?

well hell yeah..Didnt realise ive been home for almost 2 months now and i am leaving on the 5th jan 06. Back to Wgtn, which means no play-rest-..it means work work work. not like now I am actually in the holiday-spree..in heaven..sleep-eating-sleep again-shopping-tv-dvds. What do u expect when you are a bummer? of course you will be doing that..d'oh!

Newayz nothing really interesting happening since ive been home..enjoying the sun, the food, the shopping spree, the nothing-to-be-worrying-about..so i admit its good to be home

honestly i am really sad when i start to think il be once again leaving my families here in Malaysia. GOd knows il be seeing them in couple of months time..if it soon enuff then it will be middle of the yr or else it will be end of the year.

well nevertheless, enjoy what you have and appreciate it what's infront of you

*the food is awesome back here"

the summary of me

2005-11-13T05:45:00.000+13:00

I realise i havent been updating my blog for about a month now..well its not that I didnt want to but because I am just so lazy to sit now and type the words...wish that i had someone to type what I am about to say (keep dreaming IKE)..anyways i have been busy preparing tasks for the kids at work..so got no time to sit now and type unnecessary things (hahahha..)

well i am in KL now...been home for abt 1 1/2 weeks now and feel so bored!! i was always bz and now i'v got more time to relax, so it is SO NOT ME. but i know that i have to get used to it :)

love spending time with my lil' bro and family. thats more important. Anyways this year ive got the chance to celebrate raya in KL after been raya in wellington for abt 4 years. The celebration?? well nothing special xcept ive got the chance to meet all the relatives who i havent meet for ages. well some of them have been married and some of their children have grown up. KInda funny as before i left Msia 4 yrs ago, their kids used to be so small..(how time flies). Anyways its good to see all the familiar faces again.

At the moment i am in singapore visiting my realatives whom i havent seen for years. i have finally met my cousin whom i still close to. Even tho we havent met for ages but our "cousiness" still remains strong. We still able to talk about stuff even tho she is 4 years younger than me :)

i guess its a good thing for me to be back home for a while after being away coz since ive got bak, my anty, my grandmother and my uncle have been admitted to the hospital. So i guess its a good thing that ive got the chance to visit them when i am here :)

selamat berpuasa

2005-10-06T19:50:00.000+13:00

"Selamat Berpuasa to everyone"

the first day of puasa today and i break-fast with pasta. yummy..dont feel like eating rice at all thats y i ate pasta..so parents dont haf to worry ook..i am well-feed..

counting dayz to go home aand i cant wait..cant wait to see my family..

listen up people!

2005-10-01T22:23:00.000+12:00

dear all the people who know me

m going back end of this month....yeay!!

where do i begin?

2005-09-27T22:22:00.000+12:00

am actually trying really hard to start blogging today. normally i wud write continously without stopping but today I feel so emotional down. I feel so down that I feel i want to fly home and dont want to come back anymore. I know i shudnt be running away from things but i guess as always being me (too sensitive) i ended up feeling sorry for myself.

over the weekend i received 3 straight bad news. was trying to accept the first bad news then later i received 2 bad news at the same time. I was frustated and burst to tears. and then the bad news continuosly happening. first bad news my current boss is no longer work at the place. the boss whom i really respect and she is not just the boss, she is also my good friend well more like my sister. she taught me everything i ought to know. when she told me she's not coming back to work, i was shocked and dissapointed and sad.. really sad that there were no words to express how i feel.

the second bad news, the kid whom i really really love and adore and whom i have been treating him like a brother just lost his place to live. not because his anty didnt want him but because he has been lying continously to his anty and his anty has been sacrificing everything she has just to raise him. when he lied again again last weekend, his anty decided, thats it no more turning back. so his anty told me that she does not want him bck. i burst to tears when i heard because the first thing that came out from my mind was that "where is he going to live"? honestly i totally object if he's going back to his parents house as his father used to beat him alot...he even ended up in the hospital. BUT my worst nightmate came true. now he is ended up staying at his parents for a while until further notice where will he be going next.

the third news was that another kid whom i really enjoy having got fostered. so he is now being foster by a zimbawwe family. knowing his past i am happy for him but deep down i do miss him bcoz i enjoy talking to him and hanging out with him even tho he can be as aggressive as another typical 11 year old. now he's gone i am so crushed.

after my current boss left, ive been taking over the school hols programme. i never complaint for the things i am told to do but bcoz my emotions are still tied up and easily break, even the smallest things that happend made me burst to tears. e.g a kid who is u nder my supervision ran away last nite at 7pm in nite and normally i wudnt cry or anything coz i knew he always runs away and he likes running and jumping over the fence but like i sed my emotions are still fragile, i burst to tears after i catched him running on the field. I know its stupid but when you are emotionally down, even small things can trigger the tears. then after that kid was sorted out, i had to give another kid a bath. normally i wudnt cry if the bathroom flooded but bcoz i am still fragile, i cried like a stupid gurl who lost her barbie doll. I dont know why but everything seems to be falling apart. there are also other things (which i dont want to mention here) have made me burst to tears yesterday. i ended up crying to my friends and my co-worker last nite.

I tried to stay happy and smile all the times but i just cant do it. THe kid (who jz went bck to his parents' hse) always like to piss me off and we always fight even on stupid things all the times. but like today i know he didnt do it on purpose, but he accidently pinched me on my arm when we were talking in the car and the tears were easily out from my eyes. i cried just bcoz i got pinched and it wasnt that hard but because i am still emotionally down, even small things can made me cry. honestly today i was thnking not to stay at work and felt like going home and sleep and when i wake up the next day i can just think everything was just a bad dream. but i guess the reality is always going to be like that. accepting the reality because thats what the life really are.

i dont know abt the future but as far as i concern i am still emotionally tied down and even small things can triggers the big things...i am jz not ready for anther bad news..seriously

2005-09-20T22:58:00.000+12:00

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

You And Me-LifeHouse

2005-09-19T22:26:00.000+12:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves,

Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

a return to love - Marianne Williamson

THE WORKBOOK

2005-09-16T21:50:00.000+12:00

ok someone who is close to me hinted me to do what have happend from the day I was born until now..so here goes..

21st February 1981

I was born on that day and well i cant remember what happend but my mom told me that I was beautiful (yeah rite..perasannye). I was born in penang and my nenek took care of me since my parents were still studying at that time. I always remember this sentence from my nenek "nenek naik kereta jauh sebab nak tengok kaklong, cucu pertama. nenek suka sangat"

8th october 1984
My brother was born. I cant exactly remember what happend but i guess iw as numb at that time. I love my brother and i remember looking at some pictures that were taken by my dad i was jumping and kissing my brother.

Kiddie yr

As a kid, I has always been a rebellious. Cause a lot of troubles and never listened to my parents esp my mom. Always picked up a fight with my brother and i admit i hated him when i was a kid. I never liked him so much and i always wish that i never had him. The main reasonw as because he got all the attentions whereas I ended up getting into troubles. Anyways this year was the year where I started joining dancing performance. Dancing has always been the vital part in my life. I remembered looking at photos of me dancing on the stage when i was a little kid. hmm i looked cute tho' (perasan)

teenage yr

proud to admit, i was rebellious and trouble-maker in this year. I always picked up fight with my parents. Always ended up making them crossed at me and always find somethingelse to blame. Never admit my mistakes and always made excuses. Never listed to my parents and always searching for freedom (even tho i think i was given tooo much freedom). I remember this year where i got a warnning letter from the school and my parents were very crossed at me. I remember my papa used to say "papa nak frame surat ni nak tunjuk kat anak2 kaklong" . When i think about what he sed I laughed because it didnt occur to me that i was the trouble maker. I always made everyone inclu my anties crossed at me. I was so proud of being me and i never think about anythingelse but ME. I always picked fight with my brother and sometimes when we fought, we ended hurting each other. I was so temperamental and hot tempered.

Adolescense year

I got to Uitm to do Dip in Secretarial Science after SPM result came out. I had 2 offers at that time. Either Sec or Fashion design. Papa insisted me taking the design but Mama strongly advised me to do the Sec. I was so keen to Design but i dont know what got into me i chose sec. I have always knew i am not that "secretarial person" but i found it was fascinating.."eww me doing secretary course". I studied less and played hard. I hardly studied and always searched for fun stuff to do. I always ended copying my flatmates's homework esp in the shorthand coz it was so *&^%ing hard. I never like it. I hated it.WHen the result came out, I failed the shorthand but I passed everythingelse but because the course requirement indicated that "shorthand" is compulsory, I didnt got the chance to go to next level. So packed my bags and got home.

WHile waiting for another intake, I worked as an admin for a while and until one day my mom dropped the bom and sed "I got transfer to OZ, so we are going in abt 3 weeks!!" I was speechless..OZ? Australia??what the hell??so I resign from work and we all ended packing our stuffs until a week after that mama told us again we are not going to oz but NEw Zealand instead. So I packed my bags and left Msia.

Now

Here in wgtn, I started my degree and still contemplating to finish whatver leftova for me. I am trying hard to finish what I have. I really want to have a degree bcoz I want too and for mama who has been fighting to get me an education. She has been trying in every she can just to get me to finish my degree. Never look down on me but believe in what I am. While studying I have been doing enourmous part-time to get an extra pocket money. But all the jobs I have worked for never last for at least 6 months until I starting working at IHC/IDEA services. I really like this job so much. Working with disable kids really satisfy me. I always cant wait to go to work and never leave the work until I think I have done good deeds. WEll I do have my ups and downs at work but it never discourage me to do work better. I take it as it comes and go. I love the job. Period

Future

I used to see myself working in an office with blazer or suits. Signing papers and do paperworks. Meeting with clients and attend meetings but NOW I see myself in totally different perspectives. Working with disable kids. Feeding the highneeds.Doing gastronomy and showering the kids. Aware of the seizure that can happens anytime. Give meds when the meds time arrive. Chasing the hyperactive kids who like to run or climbing on the fence. Jumping on the tramps with them or even talking to them even tho they never reply on what I said. Thats where I see myself in future.

The saddest part

2005-09-16T21:34:00.000+12:00

Today has been a saddest day of the week. First I found out that my anty who raised me passed away after had an accident this week. I was closed to her because her daughter is the same age as me but was born in different month. I was so suprised when i heard she passed away. Well i knew that she had no chance to live as the accident was terribly bad. But i guess "Allah lebih sayangkan her. Inalilah. Al-fatihah"

Well I turned up to work late today.Really late. At about 4.15pm and I was supposed to finish at 6pm. Anwyays as soon as I reached there, my boss gave me this huge news like a bomb dropping on my head. She was tellling me that she might have to leave the job early as there are some things that are cannot be sorted (i betta not i disclose the matter). I was like "omigod, what happend?" and she was like "yaddi yaddi yadda" and I was like "owhh". Well honestly i felt terrible. If only there are things i can help her. Well there are but not the one she is having problem in. So i was being nice and offered her if theres anything i can do, and since i know this month is the auditing month where all the kids and the staffs are being audited. So i realised the only kid that hasnt being audited is my ALeX TaN. Ok speaking of my ALeX TaN, he is absolutely gorgeous. I know hes a boy but still he is cute. Even tho he likes to run away (and very fast) but he is cute. Every time i work with him, i ended up losing few pounds as i have to chase him when he runs away or climb the fences and i tell you he is very fast. Anways why i call him My ALeX TaN? because he listens to me and always say my name. like to say my name "ike ike" and sometimes he will say "ikeeeee" exagerating my name a bit and it is so cute..

ok ok enough i know i can talk about kids at KEMP ST all day but anyways i love working there. hate to admit but actually i have found my satisfaction my life. I know where to go now. It feels good when the end of the day you make someone happy. It feel so satisfy that every time you go to work, you get this big huge hug from someone and you feel so appreciate. Helping people i guess is the bst area in me that I am proud to admit. I don't think I can work in the office where I can sit there for ages doing office work. i dont see me in blazer. I see me chasing hyperactive kids, i see myself feeding the highneeds kids and i see myself talking to the kids that cant even reply to my conversation but doing it by smilling and gigling. thats where i see me..finally

2005-09-16T15:14:00.000+12:00

i have realised i havent been updating my lovely blog for a month now..so here goes what have been happening in my life in one entire month..

as a start, i have been busy catching up with my studies. It is a hard subject but I think i will manage to pass it...(so parents do not have to worry ok). I am trying my very best to finish my degree no matter what.

secondly I have also been busy working. To get money as I am always broke everytime my pay period ends. I have no idea where all my pay goes. The other I sat down and calculate my expenses and I have realised I have been spending it on rent and telephone and fees. Gosh! I havent actually spending any dollars on myself. Not even shoes. So this pay period I have decided to priotize my needs first (well after paying my rent..yaddi yadda)..so yesterday I bought myself a really nice shoes..cost me nzd40 for it..welll i guess it is worth is because it is so comfortable.

The other my collegue came to my place and told me i have dozens of shoes and i replied to him "well i dont have enought" and he sed "how many shoes do you need?" "thousands" and yes i admit I am a shoe freak..I jz love shoes. I am crazy about shoes..i dont know why. I admit i dont really the shoes but when i see a really nice shoes, i admit i cant stop thinking abt it and ended up buying it. I dont really need clothes but i need shoes. and now i have dozens that i dont think i have place in my apartment to put it.

Well..winter already ended, so here comes springs..sun and sun..i miss winter but i need the sun..i feel so gloomy and cloudy whenever there is no sun. i love the sun..i love the heat..i just cant wait the summer to comes so that i can just lay on the beach and feel the sunburn..hehhe

well i know this is not about what have been happening in my entire month but oh well..i always change the subject or never follows the subject..ended up changing it or talking rubbish. Anyways honestly right NOW i am so late for work..i was supposed to be at work one hour ago but my boss rang up and asked me to dload adobe photoshop on my laptop and i am late..well the dload takes ages..and iw as inform at the very last minute (well the truth is I AM SO LAZY TO GO TO WORK TODAY) so i am ended making excuses..hehehhe oh the so typical me..:)

got to run..the dload is finished..

miss ya heaps

Gemini woman

2005-09-16T12:30:00.001+12:00

GEMINI - WOMEN

If you were born between May 22nd and June 21st, you are a Gemini women.

Physical Appearance

Women born under this sunsign are tall with a straight body. Your hands are long and legs are thin. Generally, Gemini females have a very thin skin from which their veins are visible.
Your nose is sharp and long. The most beautiful part of Gemini girls are their beautiful eyes. Sometimes fascinating combinations of green shade are seen in their eyes.

Mental Attitude

You are capable of adopting very fast to new surroundings. Mostly the females born in this sign are intellectual types. Your mind is positive and strong.
Reading, writing, working on computers are your natural fields. You love to travel a lot . Gemini women are masters of communication and expression.

General Nature & Suitable professions

You are quick -witted, clever and understand every situation thoroughly before reacting. Many times Geminis can plan their reactions and be happy, angry or sad as per the requirement. These qualities help them become a good business women.
Gemini women can work best in the field of teaching, marketing, political work etc.. You can do naturally well in any sphere.

· Some of the most innovating business minds have been seen in those born in Gemini. Research is also a good field for you to work.

Health

Though your health is generally good, over reaction, worries and anxiety are the main causes of ill health for you.
Colds, influenza, bronchitis, T.B., defects of shoulders and arms, piles and infections of bladder may also trouble you at various stages of life.
Systematic life with planned holidays in completely relaxing atmosphere and a good diet can keep you fit for all your life.

Money

There will be a lot of changes as far as finances are concerned. You will experience both situations that is - plenty of resources and also compete lack of resources in your lifetime. Your love life may also be a contributing factor to your losses.
Systematic savings and conservative investments will be the best way to get stability in life.

Romance And Sex Life

You are romantic by nature and will have interest in many males in your lifetime You will look for good intellectual compatibility with your partner . An over bearing partner is not for you.
It will not be easy for your mate to understand you and your nature of extremes may baffle him. Your partner will have difficult time figuring out what you think and what you want. The male in your life has to be imaginative and not afraid of experimentation if he wants to keep you satisfied.
Gemini females do understand love and romance well and can change their partners with surprizing ease. It is not difficult for them to discontinue any relationship that they think is not in thier best interests.
The hotspots for Gemini woman are arms and armpits.

Marriage

You will find marriage exciting and interesting. You are intelligent, and so you should marry someone who have similar trails otherwise you will not be able to continue your life with him.
You will tend to have a large share in the decision-making within the married life and will often find difficult to survive with a husband who is pushy. So, try to find a person who can understand you and would mould himself as per your needs.
For this reason, an arranged marriage where proper care has not been taken to match the horoscopes or to see the inclinations of the girl and boy do not work well for a Gemini girl.

Ideal Match

For you the best match will be the one born in Libra, Capricorn, Aries, Cancer or Leo signs.

Caution

Gemini women are very amenable to change and they like lot of changes in their surroundings. This may sometimes lead to more tension and stress in your life. So, try to get more of consistency and less of changes in life.

Lucky Days, Numbers And Colours

Lucky days are Wednesday and Thursday.
Lucky numbers are 5 & 3.
Lucky colours are green and yellow.

Recommended Gemstones

Emerald and Yellow sapphire are the recommended gemstones for you. The Gem should never have been worn before and its aura should be vibrant. The weight of the Gem shall be decided in accordance with your age and body weight.

Cancer Woman

2005-09-16T12:30:00.000+12:00

CANCER
(June 22 - July 22)

Physical Appearance

You are generally not very tall
The shape of your face is either oval or round
The colour of your hair is largely brown. And, you do have a nice set of dentures
Some of you may develop a paunch in your mid thirties.

Mental Attitude

You can carry the masses along with you! Cancerian women are good orators and can prove to be excellent teachers, preachers and public speakers. They also possess a good memory.
A deeper understanding of emotions and interest in poetry are common amongst Cancerian women as they are a very emotional person themselves and tend to write poetry at some stage of their life.

General Nature

You have a very varied nature, being very timid some times and quite courageous at other . It is also not very easy to judge you or make definitive comments about your personality in one go.
Cancerrian women are sympathetic ,to the extent of being over sensitive. As a result they get irritated easily.On the positive side you also have some magnetic qualities that help you have increased charisma and greator degree of fame.
Your lord moon also gives you a keen sense of art and writing . Though it sounds quite funny , some of you can also develop psychic powers more easily than your counterparts of other signs.
Anger and mushy feelings come to you as quickly but they also make a quick departure as well. This particular trait can make you look very strange or even queer types to the people around you.

Health

You keep fragile to moderately good health until youth but the constitution becomes stronger as the age advances.
The chest and stomach are two weak areas. The possible diseases are TB, asthma, gastric disturbances and weak digestion. Some of the other diseases that might trouble you are over indulgence in alcoholic drinks, excessive eating and some kind of a fear complex.

Money

Very few Cancer born natives accumulate wealth in their early years. Being quite easy with thier finances, they spend a lot on travelling and to an extent in also showing off their wealth.
But as you reach middle age you understand the virtues of saving and then you tend to save and invest quite seriously . That leads to a comfortable later life.

Romance And Sex Life

Cancerian women are romantic and passionate by nature . They are very sincere and devoted in thier relationship with the opposite sex but are seldom understood correctly or get an equal reciprocal sincerity.
Your ideas of love and romance come straight from the story book and you have very great expectations from your partner.
The area around the naval cavity is the hotspot from you.

Marriage

For you the home is of a great consequence and family life will be very important to you. You will tend to marry early because you prefer settled life and children.
You are sincere in marriage and devoted to the family but sometimes you tend to be overly critical and dissatisfied. This leads to an innecessary increase in your tensions.

Ideal Match

Your best match is with people born in Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces signs.

Caution

Daydreaming and one-sided relationships (where one wants to take most willingly and give hesitantly) - are the peculiar problems faced by the cancer born people. You should try to correct this and also reduce the quick variations of your moods.

Lucky Days, Numbers And Colours

Monday & Sunday are Lucky days for you.
The numbers 2,7,9 are fortunate and
White , Cream, Red and Yellow are your lucky colors.

Recommended Gemstones

Pearl and Ruby are the recommended gemstones for you. The Gem should be of vibrant Aura and should never have been used before.
The weight of the Gem will be decided as per your age and body weight.

Aquarius woman

2005-09-16T12:28:00.001+12:00

AQUARIUS
(January 21-February 20)

Physical Appearance

Fair, tall, elegant and sturdy
A charming, oval face
The hair usually has a tinge of brown
The teeth may be defective
There may be a mole or scar on the calf muscle

Mental Attitude

Usually intelligent, you can see through the motives of a person. You have the ability to read the character of a person after a few meetings.
Blessed with a very high level of concentration and understanding, you can easily get to the root of any problem.

General Nature

The Aquarian woman can be quite rigid in her views. You make friends with a lot of difficulty, but once made, the friendship is sincere and forever.
You are definitely not the kind of person who will back-bite and work against your friends. True to your words and feelings, you are not only sincere in front of a person but also even in his absence.
Women born under this sign are drawn to meditation. You can be a loner and may lead an almost hermit-like existence at some stage in life.
As an Aquarian woman, you will also have a lot of interest in the material life. You may be inclined to accumulate a lot during your lifetime. But again, the present day woman may not actually identify in toto with the traits defined by the Zodiac astrology of yore.
You are a systematic and organised worker, but a bit slow. This is because you must get to the root of the concept before embarking on anything.
The strengths and weaknesses of an Aquarian woman are not read very easily. The world knows and understands only that what you want to make it understand!

Health

Infectious diseases, skin ailments, tooth troubles, tonsils and problems with leg muscles are some of the common problems women under this sign face.
You also have to protect yourself from excessive heat and cold. Take sufficient rest and exercise for a well-toned existence.

Money

Slow and steady in earning money, you can accumulate a lot of wealth through your talent and ambition. You will not run after wealth, but wealth shall follow you forever. You also have the ability to create organisations and develop innovative systems through which you can earn large incomes.
Though you will earn a lot, there is also the danger that you may get into the habit of cheating and deceiving those you deal with. Guard against this tendency or it could well lead to your downfall.

Romance And Sex Life

Aquarians seek refined and intelligent partners. Quite unassuming, you are not likely to boss over your partner. In fact, being a great student of human nature you will be able to exert a lot of control on your partner.
In romance, you start a bit late but pick up fast. You soon learn very ingenious way of getting to know men and can lead them on to a merry chase! This satisfies your ego. But, when you do make the final choice, it is with great care. Once you get serious with a man you will be totally devoted to him.
You will very rarely be jealous of other women.You will seldom have time for such thoughts, but if you find him insincere you can leave him without a second thought.
Not interested in sex for the sake of it, you can be led into it with a lot of patience.
Gentle rubbing on your calves and ankles makes you ecstatic.

Marriage

You marry late, but divorces are very rare with Aquarian women. Your marriage will be considered as a model marriage. One, you have the ability to see through your partner and decide accordingly. Secondly, you are generally very beautiful. You are endowed with a charm which keeps your husband tied down to you for eternity!
An Aquarian can handle her home and children in the most unconventional way.You may try strange combinations and arrangements and also make them look good.
You will be able to handle guests in a most remarkable manner and can hold forth on any subject on earth. You can converse with children as if you are one of them and you can talk to an eighty-year-old as if you are of the same age group.

Ideal Match

Men born in Leo, Gemini and Taurus signs are the ideal match for you.

Caution

A mood that fluctuates more easily than the weather can be your bane! You can sink from the heights of joy to the pits of depression. When on a high, you think the world is in your pocket and that you are a winner and shall remain a winner always. When in a pensive mood, you tend to think that there is no person more wronged as you have been, that you do not have a future... What you do and say during these irrational phases is what puts you in deep trouble.
You should control your moods. Keep yourself calm and do regular meditation. Develop faith in God and try to understand the law of Karma.

Lucky Days, Numbers And Colours

Thursdays, Fridays and Tuesdays are lucky for you.
3, 9, 2, 7 are your lucky numbers.
Yellow, red and white are your lucky colours.

Recommended Gemstones

Diamond, yellow sapphire and ruby are your lucky gemstones. The stones should be of a vibrant Aura and should not have been worn before. The weight of the stone should be decided as per your body weight and age.

pieces woman

2005-09-16T11:58:00.000+12:00

PISCES - WOMEN

If you were born between February 21ST and March 21st, you are a Piscean woman.

Physical Appearance

Generally, Piscean women are seen to be not very tall and plumpy .
The eyes are quite big and protruding. Hands and feet are either strikingly beautiful or else outproportioned, big and bulky.
The shoulders are muscular and spherical.

Mental Attitude

You are philosophical, restless and honest. You can go beyond your means to help people in need.
Not perturbed easily, you can help even your opponents calm down by your gentle behavior .Your nature is to forgive and forget.

General Nature

Your mind is not very steady. It often wanders from spiritualism to materialism . This reduces your concentration thereby making it difficult to achieve your full potential. A Piscean woman may also lack in self confidence. However that does not deter her from being an expert planner .
You will aim very high and can develop right connections to achieve your aims. Generally, Piscians develop good connections that they encash at the right time.
You are either at the top of the ladder or else at the bottom of it. Generally, Pisceans being too ambitious either rise to very high positions or else turn into dreamers and are unable to fight the battle of life.
You will have a strong wish to go to foreign lands and visit beautiful places.

Health

You may be drawn towards excesses that means you may be eating and drinking in excess, making you ill. You may suffer from varicose veins or guinea worms.
Problems connected with lever, ankles and feet are possible.You should take care of them.

Money

Generous by nature and ever helping your friends, you are unable to save much. Though due to your mental capacity, which is far in excess of women of other signs, you have a high income level.
You will not like to depend on anyone for finances and you are wiling to do even extra work to keep your self financially secure.

Romance And Sex Life

Very romantic by nature, you dream of romance. However you may feel somewhat frustrated as the dreams seldom come true in actual life .
You are very suspicious, you will keep a tab on your lover and if you see him friendly with another women you feel the pinch.
You are loyal and once you form a relationship, yo continue it for a long time though sometimes you may feel a sudden loss of interest in your partner. Many a time, Piscean women can carry two or more relationships simultaneously.
Having a basically shy nature, you are not the one who will make a move yourself in love life. You will expect your lover to make all the moves and you will only react to them.
But, sometimes you can act completely differently. With deception , you can easily control your men with your superior brain and use them for your purposes.
Any foreplay involving water will turn you on, feet are your hot spots.

Marriage

You will dream of marrying a Mr. Perfect and you will want him to have all the qualities possible in a husband. But you will not be working hard to get him. Thus, chances of delay in marriage or a marriage which will not work are not ruled out. You will require a very diplomatic and well mannered husband to stay on.
A Piscean woman keeps good upkeep of her house. Being yourself fond of food and drinks you will stock them well for guests also.
For a stable married love life, you should check your dreamy nature and live in practical world.

Ideal Match

Virgo and Cancer males are the best mates of a Piscean women.

Caution

Having very high desires, dreams and a changeable nature are your worst problems. You should live in the practical world and be less utopian if you want to be successful.

Lucky Days, Numbers And Colours

Thursdays, Tuesdays and Sundays are lucky for you.
1, 3, 4, 9 are your lucky numbers.
Red, Orange and Yellow are fortunate.

Recommended Gemstones

Yellow, Sapphire, Pearl and Emerald are the lucky Gemstones for you. The Gem should be of a vibrant Aura and should have never been worn before. The weight of the Gemstone shall be decided as per your age and body weight.

Whats been happening..ya?

2005-08-16T11:45:00.000+12:00

I have realised i havent been blogging for ova a mnth now..well thats bcoz I have all lazy to get into my blog...and sit there writting abt what have been happening...

1. I have been working almost everyday now..

2. Got no time to catching up with my bestmate christy..since she is also busy collecting money like me :)

3. I have class to attend and assingment to do during the Uni hols *sob*

4. Currently I am organising the Holiday programmes for the kids in September and oh yeah we have a camp to attend (for the kids)

5. I have not got the time to think straight at the moment..everything I do I am doing right away without thinking (which is not good)

6. I miss Home..and have been dreaming home for the past 2 months now..non-stop

7. Finally I am talking to my brother, Afzul after a major incident last month (which I dont want to talk about it..let by gones b by gones).

8. I have not save any cents yet from my salary (poor me)

9. I have lost weight (thats good considering I have been trying to do it for the past couple of months).

10. I am so want to take a break but I can't coz my boss needs me *cry*

11. Got a new Kid staying at the base since last week and he is so adorable..his foster family doesnt want him but instead keep his little brother. there is absolutely nothing wrong with him but bcoz he has had bad history in his family so he acts a bit reserved. I just understand why certain people dare to separate the siblings from each other..wat happend to humanity these days??

12. I am so want to go home..desperately..parents hear me outtttt!! send me a ticket!!!!

13. I have not been talking to NiNie for ages and I miss that!!

14. on september the 17th, I am going to boyz to men concert..really!! dont care :)

15. i love my job and i hope il be working there til i m not wanted (i hope not)

16.I want to go home

17. i wan to run awa y from this misery

18. i wan to go home

19. really i wan to go home

20. do u ever notice how many times have i written " i want to go home?" so parents please send me a ticket..thank you please come again :)

long updates 2

2005-07-26T13:16:00.000+12:00

ok as i was saying yesterday abt how the kids are yaddi yadda..and nw i wan to talkk abt the staffs (yeay). my boss Rachel Cooper, She's awesome and a greaat boss..lurve her..i think her as my sister rather than my boss. shes nice person but so sad that shes leaving IHC in january to go back to Britain (yes she is british). definitely gonna miss her heaps..hmm oh yeah, Teri Marsters. He's my sleepingover mate. hes great. more like a brother to me. he taught me everything from a to z in Kemp st. he was the one who taught me how to giv meds and told me abt the kids in KS. n yeah hes pretty awesome aye. hmm whoelse..well Ting has gone ..shes awesome too. she was the first person who told me what to do and whats need to be done in KS when I started work. but she left middle ths yr :( hugz..n theres some other ppl like vanessa, yuki, todd..these are few ppl whom i close with..

heheh yesterday me n ne of my collegue had a long conversations abt the male staffs in KS..well jz to kill the time..we both were so tired from the hols programme so we sat down n yaddi yadda..n there goes this one question.."if the males population in this planet are no longer exists, which of the male staff members you will choose"?hmm..i had a long thinking abt that coz i am really picky in chosing guys (and yes I admit that)..well she chose I, k chose M n i chose I at first but i changd my mind. i chose D instead cz i haf a crush on him eventh i knw hes going out with one of the staff members. well is just a crush. its not like a serious issues rite??

anyways was fun yesterday. was supposed to sleep over but there wasnt even one kid to sleep over..so me n my collegue went home arnd 12 am. after doing some cleans up at the KS. n guess what, my boss gave me the key at KS. so i am now one of the keys holder..but not so wow coz if ppl get stuck outside, they have to call one of the keys holder. hehehe..oh well..

oh yeah since the hols prog started n finished last wk, i have lost 2 kilos..isnt that great???yes yes
yes yes
i am so happy..heheheh thats good..i know my parents will be happy..heheh n me too!!

ok gtg..thats the long updates..need to get to work..ciao

long updates

2005-07-25T13:08:00.000+12:00

I just realize that i havent been updated my blog for almost 2 weeks now. been so busy working ont he holiday programmes that I had not time to sit down properly and update myself. hmm..what have been happening? well for instance, i have been working my ass for 24/7 and i love being busy and tired..at least i can make myself occupied with valuable things rather than doing something silly. but i still have the time to go out and fun tho'. thats for sure..

holiday programmes have gone but the memories still with me. i love spending time with the kids. one of my affections these days. they make me happy so do i. but sometimes shit happens and u cant prevent it from happening. for instance, last week i met a new boy name blair and his on wheelchair BUT he kicks people even tho hes on wheelchair. I was told by his parents that he likes pulling hair and scratching and bitting..as well as LICKING and he doesnt reallly likes gurl. he's kinda man's boy. Ok thats fine with me coz i kinda get it a lot..so i said to myself, this boy must be challenging. So i gave him some space coz i dun want to push him too hard to let him to know me..so later at nite i went to his room and talk with him and let him to know me and let him to come to me..at first i tot he was going to bit me but he was starting to play arm-wrestling with me..and started to lick him..(that means he likes you) but eww gross..anyways we bonded..he sticked to me the whole nite..well thats great considering iw as told he doesnt likes gurl..

sometimes i wonder that am I look like a boy to them coz all the boys at Kemp St. like to play with me instead. The gurls dont really like me..they never really want to hang out with me..but with the boys they do..they like to play arm-wrestling, chasing, kicking and bitting..i figure theres must be something with me that they like..come to think of it,i grew up aith 5 boys in my family (both side) so i guess i mustve act like a boy..i dont mind actually..i like it..so no complain

ok back to Blair, the next day we started to plap chasing and kicking and jumping..and when we were on the trampoliine, he started to get so nervous he started to sctrach my on my face..damn it was hard one..my right face got swollen a bit..but its ok i guess..then later after that he started to bit my nose and chin..damn..that goes another 2 of incident of blair...then one f my collugues brought me a chips and blair ate it..then i figure he must been hungry so i took him inside. when iw as holding him, he was starting to pull my hair but wasnt that hard.. he just like to pull my hair but doesnt mean hes going to pull it hard-out. he just like to pull it so that your head will reach his head but my collegue was misunderstood. she tot he was pulling my hair, so she push his hand out from my hair but instead blair got agitated, he sctrach my left face instead, my tears were abt coming out from my eyes...it was s hard-out sratch.so my left face got swollen..there goes my mr blair cross..:) but i still love the boy. hes cute even tho he gave me a really nice "present" :) well as a result, now i have few scratch marks on my face..heheheh..

i was planning to go back in august for 2 weeks break but now i dotn think i will go back as i have tones of work to do n besides my financial doesnt allow me to go back.. *sigh* if only i have million bucks in my acc, i can just go home whenever i want..

gosh i am late for work..i think il continue this later..:) to be continued

2005-07-19T20:30:00.000+12:00

Yea thats go the ball...

2005-07-19T20:29:00.002+12:00

1,,2,3 hit

2005-07-19T20:29:00.001+12:00

Looking at the golf ball

2005-07-19T20:29:00.000+12:00

Golfing

Holiday Programs

2005-07-13T08:25:00.000+12:00

this mite be the shortest entries as I have to rush to work now. I haf been working at IHC most of the times and now is the holidays for the primary and secondary kids. So my job is to bring them out (field trip, e.g) I went to the gym on monday and tuesday. 2 days inthe row..and after that I brought them to the aotea lagoon whatever they call. I had a great fun there..but more fun was seeing the smiley happy faces on each of the kids..what can be more happier than seeing happy faces?

First time in the month..finally

2005-07-10T19:08:00.000+12:00

finally first time in the month, I had the chance to buy a new pair of shoes..a sneaker..i really wanted a sneaker..my previous sneaker has a hole inthere so i cant wear it in rainy days..sad..i really lurveeee the shoes..oh well..now at least i haf a new pair..yey..cost me arnd 190 NZD heheh..crazy me to buy a new shoes.in that price..what the heck i lurve it anyways..

havnt really got a chance to take a foto of my room..will do it one day..when im not tired enuff :)

finally..got a pendrive

2005-07-10T19:02:00.000+12:00

my cute pendrive..heheh on the laptop

one of my precious things in the world

2005-07-10T19:01:00.001+12:00

my laptop..precious

my fav spot in the room

2005-07-10T19:01:00.000+12:00

my fav spot; where i hang all my stuffs

addicted to Nike

2005-07-10T19:00:00.000+12:00

my new shoes

new life..new beginning

2005-07-07T01:00:00.000+12:00

finally i have moved to my own place..the place where i can all "my own". been dying to live by myself and now yeah it has been achieve :)

i lurrrrvvee my new place..i didnt realise i had so many stuffss when i moved it from my old place to my new apartment..took me 2 trips backnforth..by time i got there, i can see the manager or the building was smilling at me..well particularly to my stuffs.. he must have been wondering..where shud i put all those stuffs in my room? well my room isnt that big tho..but not that small either..jsut nice to a single person like me :)

updates

2005-07-05T23:22:00.000+12:00

nothing much to write actually..have been thinking what to write.don really haf any grat ideas to state here..lemme seeeeeee..what have i been doing beside spending my time working??

...cant think of any..how pathetic my life has been??well not really..finally had my day off last weekend..pheww..catchup with an old friend who just returned from Malaysia for hols..lucky her..i want that as well..thank god i will haf that soon :)

uni finally starts yesterday..but my clasess officially start today..well lucky me i have morning classes this trimester (even tho I am not a morning person) but bcoz i am working in the afternoon..haf no choice but to wake up early..oh well fair enuff..at least i can work..spending time with kids..yeay!!

moving to my new house tomorrow..yey..cant wait ro rearrange everything..its like i have been planning what i want to do with my own flat..finally haf my own space..i lurve that..i can do whatever i want..even tho the flat is smaller than the old place i used to live but i dont mind as long as i am happy

well i think ibetta off to bed..tired now...long day...got class tomorow

How Do People See You?

2005-07-05T11:56:00.000+12:00

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

your japanese name

2005-07-05T11:55:00.000+12:00

Your Japanese Name Is...

Dai Aburakoji

What's your Japanese Name?

on his very last day with me

2005-07-04T21:26:00.001+12:00

just us

me n michael

..finally he has left me crying deep down inside..finally he has found a home..finally he has found someone who will take care of him dearly..even though i am sad but i am happy for him and will love him unconditionally...hope he will remembers me as I will always remember him..

TOP 10 REJECTION LINES BY WOMEN

2005-06-29T07:12:00.000+12:00

TOP 10 REJECTION LINES BY WOMEN and what they actually meant:

1. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo- playing geek in "Deliverance.")

2. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.)

3. I'm not attracted to you in *that* way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)

4. My life is too complicated right now. (I'm waiting for a rich sugar daddy.)

5. I've got a boyfriend. (I've got a vibrator.)

6. I don't date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same *solar system*, much less the same building.)

7. It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.)

8. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

9. I'm celibate. (One look at you and I'm ready to swear off men altogether.)

10. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with.)

my baby

2005-06-28T18:46:00.000+12:00

my little mickey

cutey mickey

me n michel

"Behind These Hazel Eyes"

2005-06-26T20:41:00.000+12:00

Seems like just yesterday

You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

*to someone who used to be special in my life*

typical days for me :)

2005-06-26T20:05:00.000+12:00

typical days for me..work work work..people (who are closed to me) have been complaining about me being workhaholic. hardly seen me around..well sorry guys..is not like I dont want to hang out but I don't see where's the point to hang out when work comes first (that's for me now). I love spending time with those kids at work. they make me happy than hanging arnd with those maniacs (not you guys ok. You guys know who I mean aye!!).

Have been working more than 20 hours a week! just imagine how many hours of sleep I have lost since I started working. Apparently I found it weird..coz I dont complain much about not having too much sleep!! coz I enjoy the work I am doing. kids are very important in my life. I dont know..i feel like lending them an extra hand does makes a different. I don't care about what people said about my job or the kids..in fact I love them more :)

speaking of that, one of the kids are leaving this thursday. the kid I have been taking care of since the day he arrived :(..i call him my baby..he's 2 and half months and he is so cute. I love spending time with him..he's cute and beautiful..what's wrong with him? well he's an intellectual disability/development but what the heck, its not his fault he has the conditions. no one to blame. everything happens for a reason :) anyways..he is sucha beautiful thing. very cute. now hes starting to walk by himself. oh ya!! his name is michael but i call him "little mickey". he likes to smile alot..laughing and drink a lot of milks..a lot infact :) hehehhe..gosh i sound like i wan to have a baby!! noooooooooo..freak me out..anyways..he's leaving this thursday coz they support worker has found him a foster family. *sob* so he will be leaving with his foster parents well foster mom to be exact. the foster mom is one of the worker at IHC. Lucky her..I wish I have the oppoturnity to be micheal's mom..oh well i dont think i can that responsibility yet. its too big for me at the mo :)

i dont know if i can see him leaving the base. i have been taking of him ever since he arrived at the base. i know every second he moves and what he is doing..when is he gonna have his nap n his milk. and three reasons why he cries :(( *sob* i will miss him esp in the middle in the night he wakes me up jsut because he wants milk or his nappy is wet. :( im emotionally attached to this kid. really! in fact i am emotionally attach to all the kids at the base. they are so pure and beautiful. (damn i am being too emotional and sensitive now).

well..i got hit from one of the kids yesterday nite because he has been having headche and sore-teeth. his wisdom teeth is coming out so he has been grumpy all the times. he hit people yesterday. first he pinched me my thighs ( och) then he pulled one of the kids's hair and my collegues and pinched my another collegues on his stomach (twice) OUCH..i dont think he did on purposed. he was trying to take out his pain to someonelse's. i know how painful the wisdom teeth pain is. had mine ages ago..but i know the pain tho' thats y i don mind he pinched if that helps him to feel better. that wasnt the first time i got hit tho. yesterday was the ..i dont know how many times..haf bruises on my feet coz got A kicked from the kids before..i feel like all the kids like to take out all the angry stuffs on me not to my collugues..hardly see them being beaten up or they never told me? or i am the choosen one to be beaten up for the hyper-active kids? dont know *sob* it's ok..not their fault anyways..well at least i dont get all those bitten from the kids...one of my collegues used to be bitten from the autism kids..wow..that must be painful..dont want that!! *a big NO NO*

moving out from the plc i am currently living in..moving to 169 the terrace on 5th july but will be staying with christy for a week or so..coz her husband will be going to OZ soon so just want to hang out with her..accompany her :) sweet'as

have a nice weekend..--back to packing up :)

mine mine mine!!

2005-06-26T12:23:00.000+12:00

Your Birthdate: February 21

Being born on the 21st day of the month (3 energy) is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life.

The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental.

There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, "couldn't care less" attitude.

You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression.

Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing.

You are energetic and always a good conversationalist.

You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters.

Your mind is practical and rational despite this tendency to jump about.

You are affectionate and loving, but very sensitive.

You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

2005-06-22T00:18:00.000+12:00

when things get worse, what should you do? Run away from it, or face it like a warrior?

in my case, be in between, neither run or face. sit quietly and ignore it. let by gone be gone. no point to think of it coz its not yours anymore.

::buRN::

2005-06-16T13:25:00.000+12:00

What Have I been Doing lately??:

1. Haven't had one day off since last week. Worked worked everyday until Sunday. Started to do sleepovers already. (sleepovers is when you stay one nite there to take care of the kids whom are sleeping at the base).

2. Lost weight coz haf no time to eat properly. Everytime I get home, I end up lying on the bed and fall asleep.

3. Being so damn broke coz just bot myelf a Laptop. Pentium 3-HP laptop. Bot it @ the cheaper price. NZ$300-from a friend who went back to Hong Kong. Still in the very good conditions. Wicked.

4. Been telling myself to book the app at the salon to get my hair trim. BUt since haf no time to do it, now my hair even grow longer.

5. Once in my lifetime, Afzul (my brother) called me personally to talk abt things. Wah shocking! he hardly calls me.. anyways thanks for being there for me brother love ya!

6. My mom called me twice on Monday and that was shocking too! she neva calls me twice in one day but now she had..im ok mama..don wori abt me. Life goes on..love ya!

7. i miss papa..really much

8. I miss home..really do..miss my little brothers bck home..really homesick at the moment. Luckily I am working involving children, so at least the feeling of missing my brothers gone a bit.

9. Been working my ass 24/7 these days n really like it even tho i feel tired sometimes..need a break like everybodyelse..but i guess life doesn't always treat you rite :-)

10. Chatted with my step-father yesterday and he told me my desktop has broken. the hard-disk has broken..NOOOO..all my pictures and songs have gone..my videos i jave dloaded...wahh :(( noooooooo..even tho i hv laptop now but i love my old pc..it has bring sucha good memories in my life..i don know how it got broken..i guess il c it when i go home end of th yr..mayb bcoz of the shipping company???hmm don make assumptions ok>?? hate that :p

11. got to go to work..haf to do sleepover again today..

The girlfriends in my life :)

2005-06-15T23:34:00.000+12:00

I have been friending with different kinds of people but in those "kinds of people", I have met these 4 awesome girlfriends who have been there for me and neva judged me in things I have done regardless wheather it is worst or good. So here are my gf's who I have loved the most (in no particular order--you guys are always the no #1 in my heart)

Marlini (Ninie)

ninie

I have known her about 3 years now and the friendship still remains stronger. SHe has been there for me through ups and down, joy n sorrow. Neva once she doubted my decisions and as a result, she will always there to support me.

She may seems so shallow and self-wallow but emotionally strong and good at managing things. She cares for people and that what makes her so sweet.

I wudnt want to trade this friendship for anythingelse. She is the sweetest person I have known and hanging out with her, neva once, makes me sad (except on the day me flying bck to NZ, of course). She can laugh and talk talk talk abt everything.

I remember those times where she was broken-hearted and I was as hard as I can to cheer her up.If only I have the doraemon magic pouch, then I cud turn back time for you.

Really miss having her around..coz She's WICKED!!

Nazratul Akma (Jer)

Jer

Met her few minutes on the day she arrived in Wgtn and neva regret to know this caring person. She has been like a sister to me in WGTN. Feed me all the times and "care about people first but me" is always her motto. She doesn't care ppl talk abt her all times bcoz she cudnt be bothered. She tresures life and always appreacite what she has.

She is the sweetest thing. Neva look bad upon people and always say what she believes. Don't talk bad about people and always be outspoken whenver she thinks thats is not the right thing to do.

I always hang out at her place and she always cook traditional malay food with improvising the original recipies. SHe enjoys cooking and feeding ppl whereas I neva enjoys cooking but love feeding ppl. Hehehhehe..

I still remember the times where both of us were really damn broke, we sat down and counted the money we both had. Even though we only had a few dollars, we both neva cared abt it and instead feed ourselves buying more food with a few dollars!!

SHe's the kinda gurl who wont leave you when you are in pain and sorrow.She always there for you. I remember the times where someone I loved left wgtn, I called her and end up crying hard-out on the fon, she tried to cheer me up. I cried all the way to her house with toilet paper and as soon as I reached her hse, she was making fun of me or fbriging the toilet paper. As a result, I end up laughing and fell asleep :P

Thank God I have met her in this boring-windy-typical Wellington or else I end up being miserable forever.

Juanita (Nita)

them

She's one of the earliest person I met in this windy city. 1st time I met her, I tot she wud be so "garang" and not-that-friendly. But turn out she's the opposite site who you can talk for hours, feed you, take care of you and listen to your stupid rubbish conversations.

She neva talks bad things abt ppl. She doesnt care abt what ppl thinks abt her and always believe whatever you, you will always have to give and take. DOnt let people take advantage on you.

I can still remember, you lent me your sweat-shirt just bcoz it was so cold outside and i had to go home. THen how you cooked me your AWESOME pasta during our lunch hour (even tho it was one hour) but still i had fun. You an awesome cook..Azhar is lucky :)

Thank to mGod, she neva lost contact with me or else, I end up losing the precious diamond in the world.

CHristy Ngeow Seow Woon (christy)

christy

This lenglui has been part of my life since the day we met in VUW. TO tell you the truth I neva really liked her (as you know you will alwiz hav this feeling on the first time you met ppl). I tot she is rude, fierce yaddi yaddi yadd but she turned out to be so charming, sweet and caring. Been ther for me ups and downs, same as me for her. From the day she met her 1st bf until the day she got married (neva tot you will get married since you are not the commit type). Maybe there is something abt damon that hv changed your mind :P

anways she is the sweetest thing. I remember the first time we hang out together. Feed ourselves with food all the times. There have been too many memories that have captured us together until now. SO many things that I dont think I want to forget.

You were the one who came to my hse after I came out from the hospital. Lepak wit me on my bed and laughed at me when I was trying to speak. And you made this awesome present for my bday. To admite, YES thats the bestest present I have ever got. Tq so much for making it. I really love that present ( I didnt even sent it bck to KL coz I want it to be with me here)

You neva cared abt your petrol whenever I asked you to help me to move my stuff all the way to JVille to Kelburn. U neva cared whenever I eat your food (cmon I eaat a lot k) whevenever I am ur hse. You always being so generous to me and I dont think I can ever pay you this. You always listen to my problems even though sometimes you look like you dont bother abt it. hehheheh

There are so many things that I can talk about you bcoz you hv been so GREAT to me. but i think I betta leave it to me. Keep it as a secret. I am so lucky to have met you. THnks for being htere for me..

::so there goes my 4 bestfriends in life. I am so thankful I hav met this people. THey are one in the millions..really appreciate them..muah2::

Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?

2005-06-09T03:26:00.000+12:00

sometimes the things that we wish for, never seemed to come true. You gotta work hard to achieve it BUT no matter you work hard, you'll never achieve aye?=)

that what happens to me. I met the person but things didnt worked out. cant blame him or the situation bcoz i guess things are not meant to be =(

it hurts so badly but life goes on. dont want to think abt it.

"ignore the consequences, face the circumstances"

bday agong :)

2005-06-05T17:23:00.001+12:00

me n jer

me n daus

me n nal

me n el

my girfriends

me n jaz

2005-05-31T02:16:00.000+12:00

wonder if u wake up in the morning, what is the first thing that makes u happy?

of course, the smile on your face whenever you think about him :)

kids

2005-05-30T22:45:00.000+12:00

Since I had the oppoturnity to get money by myself, I have been learning to earn every scent that I get from the job I occupied. Before, work for me is to get money on everytime I go to work but lately I have learned. Money isn't everything. What counts is that, things that makes u happy. So I have learned.

Since I have been working at a place call "IHC" (in your community), I have not thought about money most of the times. Suprisingly, I can't wait to go to work whereas earlier in my previous job, I was so damn lazy to go to work. I love spending my times there with the kids. Hanging out with kids make me happy. I love it when they are happy. I don't even think about what time I finish coz it seems like I want to stay there forever!!

The job descriptions involve taking care of them, preparing for the breakfast, lunch, morning tea, afternoon tea and dinner, bring them out for walk, give them bath and play with them. Well it may sounds a bit too much but actually it's not. It is simple as taking care of your sisters or brother but different ways because they need a special need since some of them are in very high-need (need to be lift or can't do bathing or eat by themselves).

I love working there. It seems like I feel satisfied. I enjoy spending time with children. To have kids on my own? nah..not ready to be that responsible :) I never actually believe I am going to say this but I think my future job will be taking care disable kids. Playing with them all day long never been tired and I never found it boring. New challange everyday, (I learn new things eveyrday from them btw)New stories, new things everday. I think I am ready for being challenge coz taking care of them is the best and hard way to do! Patience is a must to work with them :)

Who's Your Celebrity Soulmate?

2005-05-29T12:23:00.000+12:00

whoho...yummy!!!he's my celebrity crush! yey!

Busy week

2005-05-24T12:57:00.000+12:00

Will not update this blog for this week! got 2 tests and dont have enuff time to go online..jz wanna to let u guys know..take care..thnx for reading and supporting ;)

happy birthday to dearest Elmokri razman..with love

2005-05-22T20:27:00.000+12:00

Saturday:

evening

I went to christy's wedding..the weddding started at 4pm but i was late...the wedding ceremony took place at this begonia house at botanic garden. I dont eve know where it was..i know where is the botanical garden but begonia house?? hell no..took me half an hour to climb up and down the hill just to find the place. when my watch showed 4 pm, iw as panicked. I ws thinking, damn im gonna be late for my bestfriend's wedding. i was nearly cried but luckily i saw these 3 tourists who happend to be lost as well. But Thank god, the passed the begonia hse, so they know where it is. by the time, i reached the begonia house, the minister was talking abt the marriage life, i was relieved coz the exchanging vows hasnt started yet.

when i looked at her signing the papers, i was actually sheding to tears. I cudnt believe she is getting married and im actually witnessing it.been ther for her ups n downs..thorugh sadness and happiness..was there wen she had on/off relationships..was there when she met damon until the day they got married..im totally happy for her..and i hope her happines till hte end of time..

Night

I went to her reception at nite..by the time i got there, my feet already blister and swollen bcoz of walking up and down the hill using the high-heels. the food was great and we had a bit talked yaddi yadda...her family was there ecept her brothers n mom..they are in msia..they didnt come with the rest of the family..

congratulations..to the bride the groom n to the both families..

blunt

2005-05-19T22:21:00.000+12:00

sometimes people can be too ignorant towards other people's feelings. They do not bother to explicit their words even though they know, the words can be harsh and rude.

whereas some can be too kind not to hurt other's. They tend to think before they act just in case their words will cross other's.

other, just don't bother..they can do whatever they want as long it doesnt gone through the boundaries.

in other words, No One is Perfect

2005-05-15T23:44:00.000+12:00

Episode 1 : "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"?

===Tree===
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal. I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everythingjust for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have makeher heart cry for 3 years. She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!"before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so. My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers. When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my breakup and she told me about her getting together. I know who's the guy. He had been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of theschool. I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too. During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"?

Episode 2 : "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"?

==== Leaf =====
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt -Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe byusing a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal. I like him & I know he likes me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make thefirst move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. But, If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for afriend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figureout. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right? Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, dote on him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & Ireally want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years. Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay. "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"?

Episode 3 : "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"

==== Wind ======

I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there.Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him. One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place,looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left. Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away. It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree. I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Everytime, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly."Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit, Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"?

tired-busy-sleepy

2005-05-10T23:49:00.000+12:00

what have I done for the past a week? hmm

Sunday-morning i woke up early at 9 am coz i had a volleyball praktis at 9 am (yeah rite)..but i was late..i had to wait for my flatmate to wake up and doing her thing blah blah and we arrived at teh rec center at 10 ish..we had to wait till the court is empty coz everyone was using the court to plap badminton..*sigh* i was practising with few friends who wwere the same boat as me to pplay volleyball..around 11 ish, we had the chance to play volleyball and guess what we played for 4-5 hours straight..damn..i was so damn tired by the time the game finished..we didnt even had a timeout..all we did was changing the court when the game ended..when ir eached home, i was so damn tired..both of my hands were swelling and i can barely moved my arms..i slept till 8 ish coz i was so damn tired..by the time i woke up was already 8ish and i felt so hungry...went to the kitchen to find some food..had a shower and went bck to sleep again untill 11 am in the morning..what the hell of the weekend :-)

Monday- i started work at IHC ( cant remember what it stand for) but it is a place for disablity kids..my work is working with them..takiing care of them and try to make them behave as i can ( i dont want them to misbehave)..some of them are hyperactive, down-sydrome, austhisms and yaddi yaddi yadda..enough of that..more important is i love working with them..they are so cute and charming..on the first day itself, i got a kiss frm one of the kids and he sed he likes me..owh that so sweet..he is charming..he likes to play rugbby with me (which reminded me like my little brother haziq)..i feel so good whenever im around them..sigh wish i can go there eveyday..

Tuesday- went to IHC for work again but this time i met few other kids who didnt come yesterday..they were just the same kids who i met yesterday excfept this one kid who screamed in the middle of the road bcoz my workmate was asking him to come inside the base..he refused to so he screamed..i can hear his voice very clearly coz he screamed so hard..he cant speak nor talk..poor him..but my workmate managed to pursuade him to come inside..good on him :-)

had a long talk with Chip yesterday nite..i havent talked to him for so long..can hardly remember when was the last time i spoke to him :-) we had a long catchup yesteryday..he sed he has been thinking and missing me..(owh how sweet of you, my dear)..thats what bestfriends are for..they never let you aside..they are always for you..they will always think about you even though you havent talked to him for so long..anyway just want to let you know chip, i do miss you a lot too even though i only sed "i miss you" but actually you were always on my mind and i miss you more too and (even though you sed you miss me more)..jz want to let you know that...take care muah2 X

argh..assingment..go to do and have to fnish it tonite..got things to do tomorrow..sigh..so tired..wish can go to bed now :-)

Relaku Pujuk-Spider

2005-05-08T04:06:00.000+12:00

i know i am supposed to be studying rite now..its 4 am in the morning and im still awake to finish up my essay but instead i keep on listening to this song "relaku pujuk" by Spider..(one of the Malaysian band)..i dont know why but i just lurrrrrrrrrveeeeeeee this song..i seriously dont know why...i keep on repeating the song..

Relaku Pujuk-Spider

Ku dikejar bayang-bayang resah
Bila hatimu masih tak berubah
Enggan dipunya dan dipenjara
Belaian cintaku ini

Aku bukan lelaki yang tewas
Bisa mengambang walau ku ditolak
Biar diuji kanan dan kiri
Kau kan tetap ku miliki

Tiada lafaz yang lebih agung
Kalimah cintamu
Yang ku tunggu-tunggu
Biar jasadku yang menanggung
Permainan darimu
Relaku pujuk

Janganlah kau salahkan aku
Terus memburu menawan cintamu
Daku percaya sedikit masa
Kau kecundang akhirnya
Usahlah kau bersedih
Dihadapanmu aku hadir
Memadam resah dan curiga dari hatimu

Apakah kali ini
Bisa kau tolak dan berlari
Setelah aku menanamkan azimatku
Biar jasadku yang menanggung
Permainan darimu
Relaku pujuk

decisions!! Decisions!!

2005-05-05T11:16:00.000+12:00

decisions!!!

hate doing decisionss!! but I somehwo have to do it..have to decide whats the best for me!! arghhhhhhhhhh bencinya..why is it to make good decisions have to involve emotions and heart??why cant it only involves pyshical..why why?????

2005-05-04T15:04:00.000+12:00

im too lazy to do my work

have been staringg infront of the pc for quite a while but havent started a single sentence expect changing the fonts and the paragraph..i am so damn lazy

the weather has been so crap for the past 2 days..the sun hasnt come out since monday and i am too damn sleepy and pathetically praying for the sun to come out..cant stand living in this kinda weather..feel so unhealthy at all..

currently so damn homesick..i wan to go home so badly..feel like want to run away from this sanctuary of depression..i cannot stand being depress and stress anymore..tired of feeling like this..i wish i cud feel happy and better..the only can make me happy is when i am able to do what i want and what i feel like doing but instead i have to please people not knowing they are dont even bother about my existance..hmm wonder why?

ok ok stop talking about that..making me more depress and stress..lets change the topic..what shud i write about my essay??well its not an essay btw is just a summary of text and movie (note: i have to do 2 summaries..) well its not that hard actually..i have to summary the movie i have watched before (the last samurai). is not that hard..i know what the movie is about but my mind has been closed for the past couple of days..

i have been drinking coffee more thatn i should have..yesterday nite i drank 5 cups of coffee and i even hunger for more..what are the ingredients inside the coffee actually that makes people can be so damn high?????!! you tell me!!!?? i dont know and i dont care but i love'em..so much..if only my house is build inside the coffee beans..i wud love to drink it all day..just coffeee..!!

ok betta stop..start to talk bullshit oredi..im still high..i bet i cant even remember what i just wrote..same happend to my fren the other..wrote her a testimonial but i cant remembered what i wrote until i read it again after i was sober..damn so embarrased..so mind me..im high..
--blurrrrr--

things are better left unsaid

2005-05-03T15:06:00.000+12:00

....oooO..............
.....(....)...Oooo...
......)../.....(....)....
.....(_/.......)../.....
...............(_/.......
....oooO..............
.....(....)...Oooo...
......)../.....(....)....
.....(_/.......)../.....
...............(_/.......
"Some people came into our lives and
leave footprints on our hearts and we
are never ever the same...."

I want to cry but there is no more tears in my eyes
I want to give but things are hard to achieve
I want to leave but things are better to keep
I want to hide but everything seem to be a fight
I want to reach but it seems everything so hard to fit

Joy Enriquez - How Can I Not Love You

2005-05-01T03:30:00.000+12:00

Cannot touch, cannot hold, cannot be together
Cannot love, cannot kiss, cannot love each other
Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know

Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
Cannot dream, cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel, must pretend it?s over
Must be brave and we must go on, must not say
What we?ve known all along

Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you

Bridge:
Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we?ve known all along

Chorus:
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you
When you are gone

2005-04-30T22:53:00.000+12:00

nice weather..ape lagi lepak ar..some more pixxs go to ikeafnifa.fotopages.com

2005-04-30T22:26:00.000+12:00

Some say I am nice and they like to hang out with me. Others say I am too nice and they warned people not to hang out with me. how do you feel if people do this to you? where never in your mind you have the thought of doing anything like that to other people??

Maybe some people think i am being nice just to gain some benefits from them..eh hello lar..tk ada masa nk buat mcmtu..i got other stuff to do..c'mon lar..i dnt that to live..i need sincere and honesty to live in this world..if certain people do not have that then how are they going to face the world..rite??

i dont need to impress people or treat them nicely bcoz thats not what i shud do.have had enuff impressing people til i got hurt inside..i dont want to get hurt anymore..tired of running away or getting hurt..i am jst going to do not bother what people say abt me bcause i take it as they do not know the real me..they also dont bother to hang ot with me..then why shud i bother?

When guys around me, they have the impression that I like them whereas I dont give a fuck what they are doing. When I being extra caring, they think I like them on the other hand, I am just being me and I am not pretending to impress them. let me get this straight..I dont just like a guy when i see them ok..i am not that tasteless amongst guys..eh hello..i am jst being me..i am just being myself..i dont need a guy to be nice..i am just me..if you dont like it then fuck it..i dont need people to ruin my life..guys will always be guys no matter what. how do you feel if you were in my shoes? how do you feel if you are being labelled like this? will you run away or stay knowing that you have been labelled like that? i wud stay in the middle..not running away or stay..because why should I? why should i go away just because you have heard somethng that mite not tru?

people have different perceptions towards..i dont care what people think of me..i dont give a fuck what they think..i am enjoying my life to the fullest..i love hang out and having fun..if they cant hv fun then thats not my problem..normally i just take it as ..if you cant hav fun then dont bother abt other people's life because thats your problem..go figure..

my aim is just dont bother..

weekend finally..

2005-04-29T12:38:00.000+12:00

Yey it's weekend..the most waited days of the week...but bugge..i've got plenty of work to do so no yey! for me at least..

it's been ages since I updated my blog..(sorry papa) been busy sorting out my work..classes tutorials and work..

went to a friend's house last nite to watch this Thai-horror movie..f**k man..it was so damn scary..the movie about a girl who doesnt wan to let go her loved ones even though she's dead. the scariest part was she has been clingy at her bf's shoulder all this while..her bf felt the pain on the neck..i watched it with my friends..even the guys were scremed at it..coz it was sooo damn shcking and scary..i was hiding myself behind the pillow and the rest were under the blanket..everytime the ghost came out, we screamed together..arghh..damn horror movies..never watched the horror movie alone man..

was thinking to go to Auckland but nah...stay @ Wellington...better..besides I am saving up to buy a laptop..really desperate for it..really need it to do my work..tired of going to a friend's plc to do my work..

2005-04-17T11:57:00.001+12:00

My flatmates

2005-04-17T11:57:00.000+12:00

My eyesbrow

2005-04-16T22:59:00.000+12:00

Im feeling so sleepy and tired today as I had netball tournamen this morning..Man I havent played the gam ever since i got my little finger twisted :-) I nearly forgot about the rules ever since I stopped touching the ball..but it was a good game..it was a tournament btwn WMSO's members..just a fun game..

I have been craving Chicken rice since last week..I dun knw why..y flatmates and friends have been shaking their heads whenever I said "hey, I rasa nak makan nasi ayam lar".. and they will be saying "You and your nasi ayam.." I seriously don't know what's got into me :-)

Sunny, Hot, health day...gud for your body..need to go and sleep now..

Too much

2005-04-14T23:41:00.000+12:00

I have been feeling so hopeless for the past couple of days. Every little things I do, I felt so tired of it. I was supposed to complete my tutorial homework but instead I end up mingling around a friend's house. The whole idea to stay at a friend's house was to study together2 but instead we ended laughing and talking nonsense. Arghh now I have to catch up with the tutorial homework..(malu je if not siap). Hehe...pemalas..(that's what I always been referred to..and its true).

hmm..what have I done so far for the past couple of days? oh yeah..i have been reading this good book about a lost kid..hmm kinda good but kinda sad tho'. It's about the missing kid who happens to be dissapeared for about 10 years and the parents still looking for it.I don't know whether it was based on the true story or not but the storyline was quite touching tho'

Oh yeah..there has been so many shits happening arnd Wgtn(amongst my friends of course)..fightings, broken-hearted yaddi yaddi yadda..so scary.. I am trying not to get closed to any of this thing coz I afraid I might end up losing someone..hehehe..well it's not my thingy rite? :-)

The other day I went to Ninie's Blog and she wrote about me under the "girlfriends in my life". i t was so sad when I went thru it. She wrote the nicest things about me..and no one ever wrote like that about me liek the way she did it..I shed to tears when I went tru it..thank you so much for the comments..I never knew I am that kinda person.. I always see myself as clumsy, moody, selfish and unreliable..hehehe..well I guess now I know what kinda person I really am :-)

okies..betta get back to do my tutorial homework..got tutorial in less than hour..should really finish it aye..heheheh..muah2 X

2005-04-13T16:59:00.000+12:00

The sky it was gold, it was rose, I was taking sips of it through my nose, And I wish I could get back there, Some place back there, Smiling in the pictures you would take, Doing crystal myth, Will lift you up until you break, It won't stop, I won't come down, I keep stock, With a tick tock rhythm and a bump for the drop, And then I bumped up. I took the hit I was given, Then I bumped again, And then I bumped again.

regretting

2005-04-10T21:35:00.000+12:00

there are certain things that when you do, you can't undo..you have to accept the facts even though it hurts you. All you can do is that, accept the things even though you have apologize and apologize..gilizion times..what have been said cannot be undo..

sometimes you have to accept things the way it is..no matter how hard you try to change or reverse it. the mistakes you have made or done cannot be reversed or forgiven. That's what I feel for the past couple of days. I have done a terrible things that I cannot even forgive myself. :( no matter how many times I have apologize. All I can do is to accept the mistakes and just go with the flow.

I am accepting the fact that I have done a really bad things and I feel so embarassed to myself. I am not kids or teenager anymore. i am adult and suprisingly i am still doing things that adult won't do. I am behaving like a 15 years old girl and what was that? I am not a teenager anymore. I should've behaved like a 24 years old adult. I am still sad about what happened and I couldn't even forgive myself for that. I know I lied and I am sorry. I am terribly sorry. There is no words can express how crush you are at the moment and how regretful I am. My mistakes cannot be undo and cannot be forgiven. All I can do at the moment is to learn from my mistakes. Mistakes that I hope I won't do in near future anymore.

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A good friend of mine jz had a really terrible break-ups with her bf. When I heard her stories, suddenly my own history rewinded in my mind. I cannot believe the similiarity of the story is happening again. I mean i totally understand what's she going through. Being dumped and broke-hearted is totally not the best thing to end a relationship. Why guys are being jerks? why can't they understand a women's heart? why is it so hard to understand a guy? why are they being so hipokrit and pathetic. when they want you, they will come to you, begging and have that sweet-talk. But when they do not want you, they ignore you and dump you like you are worthless to them. urghhh!! please, dont they know the word "appreciate?" why is it so hard to say "thank you for doing this to me?" WHY? I just don't understand guys..so unpredictable